I Played My Song
a wrapped refrain173 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. Our songs are just songs until someone we love sings with us. A loved one shows us the path to take. A loved one makes our life more whole. The path is cleared. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
  |
I love the picture. I love the poem. Our songs are just songs until someone we love sings with us. A loved one shows us the path to take. A loved one makes our life more whole. The path is cleared. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
-
Thank you so much, nelliesellie :-) Brooke
Comment from MoonWillow
Excellent, Brooke. I have just one question, don't know if it makes a difference, but in the first 4 of the first stanza you have I "played" my song--and in the last 4 of the first stanza you have "play." Shouldn't it be "played" also? I love this, I'm going to have to try a wrapped refrain, LOL. First I've heard of it, and you did a beautiful job. Perfect poem for the photo. After the contest I've got something to tell you and ask you about the photo. :)shawn
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
|
Excellent, Brooke. I have just one question, don't know if it makes a difference, but in the first 4 of the first stanza you have I "played" my song--and in the last 4 of the first stanza you have "play." Shouldn't it be "played" also? I love this, I'm going to have to try a wrapped refrain, LOL. First I've heard of it, and you did a beautiful job. Perfect poem for the photo. After the contest I've got something to tell you and ask you about the photo. :)shawn
Comment Written 02-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
-
Thanks so much, Shawn - I changed the tense on purpose because it seemed more appropriate to me in that context. I look forward to the question about the photo :-) Brooke
-
I wasn't sure about that. I thought the rules said it had to be exactly the same, and that maybe you had a typo there. :)) Didn't want the committee jumping on you. All I'll tell you about the photo now is that I've seen it before, and I'm sure you've never posted it, right? If you have, I've never seen it in any of your work. Will tell you about it later. Keep you guessing/wondering. LOL.
-
It's the first time I'm posting it. Have you seen it on facebook? That's where my daughter posts the pictures I use.
As for changing a verb to past tense - I would rather have the poem sound right than satisfy the committee. If they can't allow for a verb shift, then I don't need to be in their contest. LOL
-
No. I never go on Facebook. When I saw it today, I 'bout fell outta my chair. I'll tell you in a message, cause I don't want everyone to think I'm nuts if they happen to be reading reviews. LOL. :))
-
:-)
Comment from Karen B.
Beautiful sentiments, Brooke, I especially love those first two lines. It's amazing how the life of a child can forever change our own. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
|
Beautiful sentiments, Brooke, I especially love those first two lines. It's amazing how the life of a child can forever change our own. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
-
Karen, thank you so much for your thoughtful review and kind contest wishes :-) Brooke
Comment from reconciled
How adorable Sawyer in diaper serenading for a sweetheart on electric ukulele....it don't get better that....he's really going to appreciate this one Nanna......ahhh lol.....I told you about the naked picture of me as baby in the bathtub....my mother used to show everybody...who would come squeeze my cheek and...irritating stuff like that.....hm hmm...sorry kid.....love Michael
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
|
How adorable Sawyer in diaper serenading for a sweetheart on electric ukulele....it don't get better that....he's really going to appreciate this one Nanna......ahhh lol.....I told you about the naked picture of me as baby in the bathtub....my mother used to show everybody...who would come squeeze my cheek and...irritating stuff like that.....hm hmm...sorry kid.....love Michael
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
-
Michael, thank you so much :-) Yeah, Miranda and I agree that there are many photos we will have to hide from the kid as he grows older. LOL Brooke
Comment from Laurie's Legacy
great job! I too have a grandson and a similar picture of him playing the guitar at the age of two... Brought a smile to my face, as did your verse. You adhere to the requirements and I can understand how you received the awards... Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
|
great job! I too have a grandson and a similar picture of him playing the guitar at the age of two... Brought a smile to my face, as did your verse. You adhere to the requirements and I can understand how you received the awards... Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
-
Thank you so much, Laurie's Legacy, for your thoughtful review and encouraging contest wishes :-) Brooke
-
you are very welcome.
Comment from sgalletti
Well, you definitely found a renewed path Brooke with Sawyer. Such a beautiful subject for you to use with your amazing gift of writing. I'm reading through all of these amazing poems, inspired by Yeltel's prompt and non-blind contest. This form is new to me, and it was challenging. You have done a superb job executing it, as I would expect. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
|
Well, you definitely found a renewed path Brooke with Sawyer. Such a beautiful subject for you to use with your amazing gift of writing. I'm reading through all of these amazing poems, inspired by Yeltel's prompt and non-blind contest. This form is new to me, and it was challenging. You have done a superb job executing it, as I would expect. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
-
Thank you so much, Sue :-) It is definitely an interesting form. I appreciate your kind contest wishes as well as your thoughtful review. Brooke
Comment from LoannaLois
Every poem you write teaches. The words you use, the subject matter, are always something we can all relate to.This wrapped poem has two of the best lines ever."I played my song but no one heard. Until you sang it word for word".
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
|
Every poem you write teaches. The words you use, the subject matter, are always something we can all relate to.This wrapped poem has two of the best lines ever."I played my song but no one heard. Until you sang it word for word".
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
-
Lois, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) I appreciate your mention of my favorite line. Brooke
Comment from G.B. Smith
I sought my path, but none appeared,
but when you came, my way was cleared,
impediments all swept away,
no blinding fog, no clouds of gray --
Not one step have I stumbled in pain's aftermath
since my eyes first beheld you as I sought my path.
superbly written and as a grandfather, it touched my heart
Bear
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
 |
I sought my path, but none appeared,
but when you came, my way was cleared,
impediments all swept away,
no blinding fog, no clouds of gray --
Not one step have I stumbled in pain's aftermath
since my eyes first beheld you as I sought my path.
superbly written and as a grandfather, it touched my heart
Bear
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
-
Bear, how good to see you :-) Thank you so much, my friend, for your visit and your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from kittykatnoel
Very nice poem. Encouraging, and comforting. I like that there are so many possible meanings depending on the person reading it, yet they are all meaningful and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your writing.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
|
Very nice poem. Encouraging, and comforting. I like that there are so many possible meanings depending on the person reading it, yet they are all meaningful and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your writing.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
-
kittykatnoel, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Joy Graham
I have just stumbled on this contest and am excited to learn a new poetry form :) you have followed the meter, rhyme, and stanza format. My only question is about your first repeated refrain where you modified it. "I played my song..." / "I play my song". I know you are the modification Queen so I expect this is a silly question lol!
Good luck to you in this contest. A very strong entry, indeed!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
|
I have just stumbled on this contest and am excited to learn a new poetry form :) you have followed the meter, rhyme, and stanza format. My only question is about your first repeated refrain where you modified it. "I played my song..." / "I play my song". I know you are the modification Queen so I expect this is a silly question lol!
Good luck to you in this contest. A very strong entry, indeed!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
-
Thanks so much, Joy - yes, I shift to play to show the speaker's playing is an ongoing thing in the context of that line :-) Brooke
