Reviews from

The Bard of Bel Air

Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "All Roads Lead To the Forest"
A homeless man sees more than people realize.

13 total reviews 
Comment from nelliesellie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I think the Bard is love with Miss Lucy. The chief is worried He allowed Winston to talk him into being to Lucy. Now she seems to be on his side. Everyone should be afraid of Winston. He is on drugs and it makes worse than being just plain crazy. Great work.

 Comment Written 20-May-2014

Comment from CR Delport
Excellent
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The Chief found out he's just a small fish in a big pond. Doesn't seem so tough any more. Ruby's transformation is well described. Not let's see if Winston buys that.
Nonesense aside about an island --- nonsense

 Comment Written 20-May-2014

Comment from GracieAnn
Excellent
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Mikey, this is another solid installment and very complex in the plot lines. The humor interjected is fun and you nailed the colloquial accent. Things are heating up for sure. Well done. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 20-May-2014

Comment from ravenblack
Excellent
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I have to be honest with you- I think you are beginning to juggle too many plot threads, too many complications. Please, do not bring in a plot with the Chinese. The Bard and Tenyaya are your most interesting characters, yet they are barely present.

 Comment Written 19-May-2014


reply by the author on 19-May-2014
    I agree. I'm trying to get all of the other little things out of the way and get back to the original story. Too many characters and too many angles. It will be back to basics in a couple chapters...I hope! Working on it. It will be a lot less complicated when I edit it. But, in the meantime, I'll try and make it work. mikey
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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Hi Michael, well Lucy is still leading the troops ....but they are all coming together...every one is working as a team...lets see where it goes...a great write you...keep the story coming...luff ya Linda xxoo Love

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

Comment from seaglass
Excellent
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Yep, the tension is building and a few hiccups have to happen. Feeling the ending is near and looking forward to how this all works out when the mop hits the fan.

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
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Sorry, if I don't have anything to offer to your story, I am too embedded in moonbeams!! This chapter read really well, very intricately written and very enjoyable. Your female characters show the men up! Faye

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

Comment from Michaelk
Excellent
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Another good chapter. I liked the little details you added. Like making sure ruby was blindfolded, Lucy taking a verbal jab at the chief, and the whole thing about racism and college. It gave this chapter quite a bit of character without the bard having to burst into verse. I like that bard isn't carrying the entire story on his back and others are showing flashes of brilliance.

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Somehow you manage to add such real human exchanges all the time. This is how people interact. Not the big dramatic scenes, but the ones in between like driving in the car. Little asides that make everything else all the more real. This really is excellent. NG

 Comment Written 18-May-2014

Comment from ProjectBluebook
Excellent
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Wooo--been jumbling, fan story, laundry, dishes. Time for a quickie. I'm impressed with the slang. You been chatting with Stephen? Looks shipshape to me. Yep, I'm learning a new or two as I read. Can't wait 'till they fry that Winston and doc. Their plan has backfired. The con has been conned! Won't they be surprised to see a dead man? Their battleship will be sunk and Ruby Dancer will inherit vast fortunes. They need to chop off the snake's head! Good read, Mikey, well done. You improve more and more. We learn a wee bit each day. Of course, I'm behind. Count your doubloons Sir Mikey. do loco, wackydo

 Comment Written 17-May-2014


reply by the author on 18-May-2014
    I'm catching up reviewing a little. Actual payoffs! Been reviewing for 2 cents for about a week. Hahaha. Glad you liked this. Trying to get them all in position. I wanted some court action though... I hate to delay the fight though! Check you mail. Posting? mikey
reply by ProjectBluebook on 18-May-2014
    Read them. Yep, but you won some doubloons. Yep, them 2 cents hurts! Can't earn no certificate two cents at a time? A week--wow! I did some damage. You sly dog, your vote will be the silver bullet! ha-ha!