Daddy
In the cold hospital waiting room15 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I have not read your work for a while and am glad to see you're posting again. I found this old contest entry that really communicates sadness well. Thank you for your courage to create and post the poem. Your speaking in the present tense adds to the immediacy of your message, and your analogies to the "deer" and the "white uniforms are quite effective. I hope writing this piece brought you some solace. -Joan
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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I have not read your work for a while and am glad to see you're posting again. I found this old contest entry that really communicates sadness well. Thank you for your courage to create and post the poem. Your speaking in the present tense adds to the immediacy of your message, and your analogies to the "deer" and the "white uniforms are quite effective. I hope writing this piece brought you some solace. -Joan
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much for going back and reading this poem. I just posted a chapter one of my new book. Hope you get a chance to read.
Comment from adewpearl
I am so very very sorry that you had to witness people being so cold and uncaring toward your father. And I'm so sorry he had to go through that in his final hours. This poem has powerful emotional appeal that will resonate with anyone who has ever loved someone who has suffered. Brooke
reply by the author on 06-May-2014
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I am so very very sorry that you had to witness people being so cold and uncaring toward your father. And I'm so sorry he had to go through that in his final hours. This poem has powerful emotional appeal that will resonate with anyone who has ever loved someone who has suffered. Brooke
Comment Written 05-May-2014
reply by the author on 06-May-2014
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Thank you, Brooke, for this heart-felt review. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Karen B.
The vivid details here are well written and add much to the power of your poem. I'm so sorry to see this was written about your own dad and how he died. Unfortunately, this scenario is not unusual in some facilities. Thanks for sharing your grief in this poem, it is a great entry into the contest.
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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The vivid details here are well written and add much to the power of your poem. I'm so sorry to see this was written about your own dad and how he died. Unfortunately, this scenario is not unusual in some facilities. Thanks for sharing your grief in this poem, it is a great entry into the contest.
Comment Written 05-May-2014
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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thank you Karen.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good description that paints a clear picture in my mind and allow me to feel the emotion within the words. This piece reminds me of the passing of my dad. Good story telling and a heart touching message that hold my attention from start to finish.
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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Good description that paints a clear picture in my mind and allow me to feel the emotion within the words. This piece reminds me of the passing of my dad. Good story telling and a heart touching message that hold my attention from start to finish.
Comment Written 05-May-2014
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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thank you Riter, I'm glad you found a connection.
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~
Really sorry to hear about your father. It really is sad and absolutely bewildering when some doctors do that. Good Luck with the contest though and God Bless~!
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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Hello there~
Really sorry to hear about your father. It really is sad and absolutely bewildering when some doctors do that. Good Luck with the contest though and God Bless~!
Comment Written 05-May-2014
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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thank you Javeria.
Comment from RYME4U
Very well done. There is sadness and deep emotion in each line. This kind of tragedy is hard to deal with.This is so descriptive . You have done an excellent job! Yje illustration is impressive, too.
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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Very well done. There is sadness and deep emotion in each line. This kind of tragedy is hard to deal with.This is so descriptive . You have done an excellent job! Yje illustration is impressive, too.
Comment Written 05-May-2014
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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thank you so much.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi
Definitely, SAD! You depict the non-attention to your dad's suffering that happens so much in hospitals. Having spent a gazillion hours in the hospital over a nineteen year period with my dad, I could write a book!!
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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Hi
Definitely, SAD! You depict the non-attention to your dad's suffering that happens so much in hospitals. Having spent a gazillion hours in the hospital over a nineteen year period with my dad, I could write a book!!
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 05-May-2014
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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thank you jax.
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your chosen words and vivid images allow the reader to see and feel the hurt, pain and anger you felt at the passing of your Father
the hospital just leaving him unattended on the trolley with out caring
you portray this well
good enjambment through your verses to allow flow
strong message
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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good luck in the contest
your chosen words and vivid images allow the reader to see and feel the hurt, pain and anger you felt at the passing of your Father
the hospital just leaving him unattended on the trolley with out caring
you portray this well
good enjambment through your verses to allow flow
strong message
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 05-May-2014
reply by the author on 05-May-2014
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Thank you so much for this fine review. I really do appreciate it.
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most welcome..SC
Comment from honeytree
Wonderful art work for these words written.
When we lose a loved one is a big shock
We can't believe it happened.
We will miss them but we can say hello to them
In heaven hoping one day to see them in heaven.
honey tree
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Wonderful art work for these words written.
When we lose a loved one is a big shock
We can't believe it happened.
We will miss them but we can say hello to them
In heaven hoping one day to see them in heaven.
honey tree
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thank you honeytree for stopping by and reading.
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Loved what you wrote.
Annie
Comment from yolieday
That was well written. The flow of the poem was awesome and I actually felt I was at the hospital with you. Such saddness can only be expressed through experience, so my deepest condolences. This is a great piece of work.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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That was well written. The flow of the poem was awesome and I actually felt I was at the hospital with you. Such saddness can only be expressed through experience, so my deepest condolences. This is a great piece of work.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Well, thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And thank you for the stars.
