Comment from Pyrrho

Good

I had to have a look once I check your bio and discovered you had a winner. I admire you craft with both rhyme and meter. Such is not a talent easily learned.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014

Thanks!

Steve

Comment from Sonjalee

Exceptional

Dark as lonely seagulls crying is a wonderful phrase to start and weep the wind across the bay...The verse continues with beautiful words.
The rhyming scheme perfect and the poem flows. When I read it allowed the words fell off my tongue magically.
The content , both dramatic and sad, is wonderful,
This poem stands out and shouts I am a 6!!
And I agree !
I can't think of anything I would change

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014

Someone's been digging in my portfolio!

Thanks for the lovely review - yes, I tried to create that rather mournful word-picture. Glad to hear you felt I succeeded. If you have the perseverance to dig further you will find that I tend towards the more cheerful and comedic, so this one was a little out of character.

Steve

Comment from bokeh

Exceptional

I especially like the first three stanzas: your imagery is strong and beckons the emotions. Technically, the trochaic is metronome-like, not an easy task. Solid rhyme scheme, creative alliteration and word choice. I really enjoyed reading this work aloud. Superb.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014

Thanks for the kind words - good to know someone is still finding the high spots in my portfolio.

Steve

Comment from judy.gordon

Exceptional

Wonderful imagery. I had to read it several times to see the whole desolate picture created when your love never returned. You have a pleasing way with words that create powerful pictures.I would like to be one of your fans.

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 09-May-2014

Hi again, Judy, and thanks for the review and the six stars.

I seem to be in a slightly desolate groove at the moment - I am halfway through another piece for the quatrain contest and it has taken a similar turn with a good dollop of surrealism added in.

The more fans the merrier - the easiest way is to go to my profile - just use the kiwisteveh link on this reply - and you should see the 'become a fan link' on the page.

Steve

PS I will certainly take a look at the start of your book - keep writing

reply by judy.gordon on 09-May-2014

I would like you to review my 1st chapter of a new fantasy called, Quest for the Sacred Stones. I have shortened it considerably. Thank you. I hope you like it.

Comment from Deborah Marie

Excellent

Beautifully written contest entry. Congratulations on your win. Clever use of wording and photo. Just love your rhythming. Keep 'em coming, Deb

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014

Thanks, Deb

Sadly the really good ones don't pop up all that often - I'll have a word to my muse about it.

Steve

Comment from rhymelord

Exceptional

Dear Steve,
At last you have cracked it and in a fashion that could leave no doubt as to who wrote the best. This is quite spectacular, my friend,. Wonderful flow of enjambment, really great alliteration. Glad I wasn't in it to be truly humbled.
Congrats.
Best regards
Reg

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014

Thanks, Reg.

I actually dropped the bridesmaid tag a while ago - this is the third one of these I've picked up this year - not quite enough to make a career out of but not bad pocket money....

And yes, this one felt like a winner...

Steve

Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

Hi Steve

Absolutely brilliant. A well deserved winner. I've been off-line and missing so much great work.

I love the metaphors and personification ..... your words capture every sense of loneliness and abandonment. Great double entendre with your title, abandoned cottage ... abandoned love.
Your quatrains tell the story, have excellent rhyme and full of wonderful imagery. Excellent poetic technique with the allit., consonance and assonance ... your poem arouses the senses and evokes strong emotions. Well considered phrasing and in the unique style which is all your own.

"Ceaseless sighing, rasp, claw, breakers howl and grumble,hanging drunk, tossed by stormy blaring, beauty, turned to shambles," ..... ah too many stunning phrases and power word usage ... I would have to copy and paste the entire poem. I'm so sorry I have no six ... though this is worth a ten. Beautifully done ... master craftsmanship. Poetry at its absolute best. Congratulations, I love this piece. What a talent you are. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014

Hi, Lovinia - believe me I know how real life can come along and interrupt more worthwhile pursuits like FanStory!

Thanks so much for the great review and the virtual six (ten?!) This was one of those pieces where I just started writing whatever the meter suggested, and of course the rhyming was dictated. Then the old cottage shoved its way in and the ending wrote itself. Wish they would do that more often - I've been struggling to come up with something for the love poem contest and it just isn't happening - perhaps all the good stuff's used up for now.

.... or perhaps my head is now too big after all the high praise!

Steve

Comment from ScarletAfflictions

Exceptional

Oh just so beautiful. I wanted to weep. Oh, how I know the pain of this one. Oh how familiar.... Thank you for writing this piece! Spotless skill.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014

Thanks for the very kind words and the six shiny stars - yeah, I aimed for a bit of a tear-jerker with this one.

Now why have You not taken the plunge and posted something yet?

Steve

reply by ScarletAfflictions on 03-Jun-2014

I'm rusty :) It's been...oh....a decade. lol.

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2014

Time to scrape that rust off then- sounds like you have some writing experience already - no-one's going to bit you know!

Steve

Comment from RYME4U

Exceptional

This is very deserving of the six stars. They rhythm is beautiful and the rhymes are amazing. What descriptive imagery these well chosen words paint.The raw emotion shows through clearly. Great job!

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014

Thanks for the great review and the six stars - I appreciate it.

Steve

Comment from zanya

Exceptional

Hauntingly beautiful and enchanting piece of poetry and brimming with powerful emotions 'haunting lies that taunt and brun' -superb art

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014

Zanya, thanks so much for the reviw and the six stars.

Steve