Jack
Pun-Mania21 total reviews
Comment from Sandi Icefield
I really enjoyed this. The play on words worked well. It flowed. Made me laugh a couple times. Part of me wonders if you really have done a few of those occupations.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
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I really enjoyed this. The play on words worked well. It flowed. Made me laugh a couple times. Part of me wonders if you really have done a few of those occupations.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
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Hi, Sandi, and welcome to FanStory!
Where did you dig this one up from - the ancient archives?!
No, I've had a few jobs, but the only ones tht made this list were teacher and unemployed! Glad you enjoyed. Take a peek around my portfolio if you ever have the time and the inclination - there's more funny stuff in there as well as a few more serious pieces.
Steve
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On the well recieved. I'm finding that those are usually well written. When I get the chance I'll check your portfolio out. If you have more similar in well written I think I'll enjoy them. Won't be for awhile. Holidays and all.
Comment from valmay
No wonder you won. I've just read this to my family and we a had a chuckle. So glad I found it. Absolutely great. Hope you're still enjoying unemployment.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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No wonder you won. I've just read this to my family and we a had a chuckle. So glad I found it. Absolutely great. Hope you're still enjoying unemployment.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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Hi, Valmay. It was a bit of a shock to see this one turn up as being reviewed - it's from way back! How did you find it?
Anyway, welcome to FanStory - I see you're enjoying the competitions.
Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you and your family got a chuckle. There's plenty more humour in my portfolio, but you'd have to scratch around to find it amongst the more serious stuff.
Steve
Comment from damommy
Wonderful! They way this is put together with a play on words. Very good. Flows well and certainly kept my attention. Rhymes are perfect. Great job. Artwork is so cute!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2016
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Wonderful! They way this is put together with a play on words. Very good. Flows well and certainly kept my attention. Rhymes are perfect. Great job. Artwork is so cute!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2016
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Thank you.
You've been delving well back in my portfolio to unearth this one!
Steve
Comment from Mark Valentine
Well, I'm not sure for which career you now long, fellow, but you could certainly be a poet - this is brilliant! If it were just a list of puns, with no meter or rhyme, it would be good - but the way you gave coherent fomr to the puns, and made it seem easy, is fantastic.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Well, I'm not sure for which career you now long, fellow, but you could certainly be a poet - this is brilliant! If it were just a list of puns, with no meter or rhyme, it would be good - but the way you gave coherent fomr to the puns, and made it seem easy, is fantastic.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Well,poet sounds good - in fact you can find me at:
www.poetforhire.co.nz
but to tell the truth this poeting business isn't as lucrative as you might think! :o)
Steve
Comment from SLHarper
You not only coulda' been a contender... You won! Congratulations! You like to do that every now and then, huh? -- just show up all us scrubs!!! Hahaha! You are brilliant. It was the best of rhymes, it was the worst of rhymes... and the puns sealed the deal! Forget podiatry... De-feat are decidedly for poets! I loved this! Stephie
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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You not only coulda' been a contender... You won! Congratulations! You like to do that every now and then, huh? -- just show up all us scrubs!!! Hahaha! You are brilliant. It was the best of rhymes, it was the worst of rhymes... and the puns sealed the deal! Forget podiatry... De-feat are decidedly for poets! I loved this! Stephie
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thank you.
And don't forget the times when I misjudge and come a complete cropper....
Steve
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Congratulations on your contest win. This is a very clever poem and such a creative use of the prompt. The puns are witty. Art work is a hoot. Very well done.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Congratulations on your contest win. This is a very clever poem and such a creative use of the prompt. The puns are witty. Art work is a hoot. Very well done.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thanks, GLG - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from seaglass
This is very clever. Not only all the jobs made to fit into rhyme but the pay of words as added humor. It's the best i've read in response to this prompt.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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This is very clever. Not only all the jobs made to fit into rhyme but the pay of words as added humor. It's the best i've read in response to this prompt.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the kind words and the six stars. Glad you enjoyed.
Comment from closetpoetjester
This is one of THE best contest entries I've read in quite awhile and the tumbling meter made this a super paced read. Yeah, jack of all trades = master of none right? LMAO
Ordinarily I wouldn't sixer something I'm making suggestions for but this WAS in a word, brilliant! With that said, I noticed a few tiny nits (well, to MY ear) with meter so have made a couple of modest suggestions in brackets.
I ask only that you run it past your ear...this is so close to perfection it's not funny, but the POEM is and I LOLLED plenty...
Cheers on the great read and take what you will from anything suggested...or simply take nothing. Your call.
P
I could have been an astronaut, but got too starry-eyed;
Then lion-taming tempt(ing), but I didn't have the pride.
I started on a novel once, but soon I lost the plot;
Translating's fun, mais quelle dommage I'm not a polyglot.
(A taste of) viticulture, "All sour grapes," I (had) to whine;
(Yes, an actor, I'd have made) if I (could) just (recall) that line.
Podiatry(,) a shoo-in(, well,) until I met defeat;
A copper's job's arresting -- I'm so sad it's got me beat.
I tried out for a butcher, but I didn't make the cut;
I opened 'Doors R Us' but then that opening sadly shut.
I worked at making windows, but I found it was a pain;
A Wall Street broker hired me, but I made a loss a-gain.
A fishing trawler netted me; I knew there'd be a catch;
A dating site employed me; I was fired without a match.
A dairy farmer thought I'd do; alas, no more I've heard;
As cocktail waiters come I went -- shaken but not stirred.
I tapped a plumber once for work, but knew I shouldn't force it;
Then did a stint at The Royal Mint -- I knew I could out-source it.
A nanny once, I kid you not; a lawyer with no will;
I trained to be a dentist too; I'm sure you know the drill.
I sailed upon a racing yacht, but waved that life goodbye;
I turned to printing T-shirts -- what a job! I'd rather die!
A doctor with no patience, a teacher with no class;
A soccer-playing failure who couldn't get a pass.
A matador with gore galore, I tell you that's no bull;
Librarian? I shelved it, for my CV's far too full.
I could've been a thousand things, but now I'm overjoyed;
There's no way I can lose my job -- I'm flamin(') unemployed!
Just my honest thoughts on how I'd tweak this but not offended if you don't use anything. Hope I haven't offended your level of talent and punmanship which is second to none and CLEARLY evident.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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This is one of THE best contest entries I've read in quite awhile and the tumbling meter made this a super paced read. Yeah, jack of all trades = master of none right? LMAO
Ordinarily I wouldn't sixer something I'm making suggestions for but this WAS in a word, brilliant! With that said, I noticed a few tiny nits (well, to MY ear) with meter so have made a couple of modest suggestions in brackets.
I ask only that you run it past your ear...this is so close to perfection it's not funny, but the POEM is and I LOLLED plenty...
Cheers on the great read and take what you will from anything suggested...or simply take nothing. Your call.
P
I could have been an astronaut, but got too starry-eyed;
Then lion-taming tempt(ing), but I didn't have the pride.
I started on a novel once, but soon I lost the plot;
Translating's fun, mais quelle dommage I'm not a polyglot.
(A taste of) viticulture, "All sour grapes," I (had) to whine;
(Yes, an actor, I'd have made) if I (could) just (recall) that line.
Podiatry(,) a shoo-in(, well,) until I met defeat;
A copper's job's arresting -- I'm so sad it's got me beat.
I tried out for a butcher, but I didn't make the cut;
I opened 'Doors R Us' but then that opening sadly shut.
I worked at making windows, but I found it was a pain;
A Wall Street broker hired me, but I made a loss a-gain.
A fishing trawler netted me; I knew there'd be a catch;
A dating site employed me; I was fired without a match.
A dairy farmer thought I'd do; alas, no more I've heard;
As cocktail waiters come I went -- shaken but not stirred.
I tapped a plumber once for work, but knew I shouldn't force it;
Then did a stint at The Royal Mint -- I knew I could out-source it.
A nanny once, I kid you not; a lawyer with no will;
I trained to be a dentist too; I'm sure you know the drill.
I sailed upon a racing yacht, but waved that life goodbye;
I turned to printing T-shirts -- what a job! I'd rather die!
A doctor with no patience, a teacher with no class;
A soccer-playing failure who couldn't get a pass.
A matador with gore galore, I tell you that's no bull;
Librarian? I shelved it, for my CV's far too full.
I could've been a thousand things, but now I'm overjoyed;
There's no way I can lose my job -- I'm flamin(') unemployed!
Just my honest thoughts on how I'd tweak this but not offended if you don't use anything. Hope I haven't offended your level of talent and punmanship which is second to none and CLEARLY evident.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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No, not likely you could give me the pip, Pip, having given me six shiny stars and a great review.
I did end up doing a last minute job on this so there probably are a few improvements still in it - Once I got into the flow, the puns kept coming and there were a few more I chucked out.
Thanks again.
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LOL Well this is of a most high quality for a rush job mate.
Good luck in the contest...I'd say you have this poetic garment ALL stitched up.
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Geez, and I thought MY puns were bad...
Steve
Comment from Warren Rodgers
Sounds like you know Jack very well! Very Punny poem in your trademark kiwi style and flair. Wow I didn't count them but there are so many great puns in here and many I had not heard before. Very good couplet rhyming with some internal rhymes and good meter considering the many restrictions you had to navigate. I wish you the best of luck in the contest though you probably won't need it!
Very entertaining, my friend!
All the best, Rodger
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Sounds like you know Jack very well! Very Punny poem in your trademark kiwi style and flair. Wow I didn't count them but there are so many great puns in here and many I had not heard before. Very good couplet rhyming with some internal rhymes and good meter considering the many restrictions you had to navigate. I wish you the best of luck in the contest though you probably won't need it!
Very entertaining, my friend!
All the best, Rodger
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Shhhhh - you're not supposed to know who this is!
I did actually google puns on occupations and found pages of them but I think I only used one - the rest were fairly awful, so I just went with my own. Mind you teachers/class and doctors/patience are not the freshest you've ever heard, but I hope I threw in a few new ones as well.
Thanks again. Good to hear from you.
You know who.
Comment from mfowler
As I love wit, this is my kind of writing, and this poem has wit oozing from every line. You basically have described yourself as a wannabe, but I doubt that anybody could be that broad a failure over so many professions. I found myself concentrating on the lines, not the poem. I was looking for the professional puns. My favourites:Podiatry was a shoo-in until I met defeat;A doctor with no patience, a teacher with no class
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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As I love wit, this is my kind of writing, and this poem has wit oozing from every line. You basically have described yourself as a wannabe, but I doubt that anybody could be that broad a failure over so many professions. I found myself concentrating on the lines, not the poem. I was looking for the professional puns. My favourites:Podiatry was a shoo-in until I met defeat;A doctor with no patience, a teacher with no class
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thanks for the kind words.
I can lay claim to one or two of the jobs mentioned plus the 'unemployed'....
Steve
