Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Asylum and Prayers"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
18 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
Although I do like "he wants to spoon with Putin" as a humorous suggestion of his zealotry, it places the story too close to now. Unless Putin serves as "president" in his nineties. I really don't think he'll make it that far. Just don't dwell too much on battling the Russians. I can't remember the name of the flick, but I remember college age kids tossing c4 footballs to fend off the Russkies invasion. Focus more on the humanity of the situation like you are. I just can't picture you as a hippie Rambo.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Although I do like "he wants to spoon with Putin" as a humorous suggestion of his zealotry, it places the story too close to now. Unless Putin serves as "president" in his nineties. I really don't think he'll make it that far. Just don't dwell too much on battling the Russians. I can't remember the name of the flick, but I remember college age kids tossing c4 footballs to fend off the Russkies invasion. Focus more on the humanity of the situation like you are. I just can't picture you as a hippie Rambo.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Yeah, Putin was a mistake, couldn't resist the joke. I think I'll edit to a "statue of Putin". Close enough. I remember that movie. Was it "The Russians are Coming"? No, that was a comedy. Anyway. Going backwards. Followed this advice, I think. mikey
Comment from ragamuffin
I think the humor, the mind wandering for a bit to fantasize about a future, is important. It would realistically be needed to keep one's sanity in such a situation. A lovely and touching ending to the chapter.
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I think the humor, the mind wandering for a bit to fantasize about a future, is important. It would realistically be needed to keep one's sanity in such a situation. A lovely and touching ending to the chapter.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
Comment from l.raven
Oh!!Oh !!!me..me...I have a suggestion...Linda's new boyfriend...LOL...Christine has one...LOL..just a suggestion...LOL...Michael this is really coming together great...now that we won the fight...so now where do we go???a great story and a great write...Luff ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Oh!!Oh !!!me..me...I have a suggestion...Linda's new boyfriend...LOL...Christine has one...LOL..just a suggestion...LOL...Michael this is really coming together great...now that we won the fight...so now where do we go???a great story and a great write...Luff ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 22-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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I have done as you wished even before I answered this review! Hahaha. Where do we go? I don't know. Am I supposed to? mikey
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I got chills...LOL...awwww...why ask me...I already gave you a superb suggestion....LOL...luff
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Well, when you suggest something, I go do it. Hahaha. You said give Linda a boyfriend and ten seconds later she had one!!!!
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that easy!!!hummm.....now I can't wait to read it...luff
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
He dreams of spooning naked with Putin. << Great line!
So now they have hostages to feed and guard as well... that can't be good.
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He dreams of spooning naked with Putin. << Great line!
So now they have hostages to feed and guard as well... that can't be good.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Michaelcahill,
You have a topical story running here, especially in the light of recent events. A couple of corrections for you -
color, but their wasn't time. - should be 'there' wasn't time ...
ladies here to lay there weapons down or we can - should be ... lay 'their' weapons ...
Patrick
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Hi Michaelcahill,
You have a topical story running here, especially in the light of recent events. A couple of corrections for you -
color, but their wasn't time. - should be 'there' wasn't time ...
ladies here to lay there weapons down or we can - should be ... lay 'their' weapons ...
Patrick
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey, this is a good story, Michael, just off the wall enough to be believable.
Red Dog Ronnie sounds kinda cool. Are there really kids that don't mind their parents and does the line, Bedtime Kids or I shoot work? They won't turn you into the CPS? ;-)
I remember back in the day when we were terrified by the Russians because they lived behind an iron curtain, which in my childish imagination was worse than an Iron lung. They were folks to avoid with out a doubt.
Fun chapter, Michael. I like your sense of humour.
Gloria
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Hey, this is a good story, Michael, just off the wall enough to be believable.
Red Dog Ronnie sounds kinda cool. Are there really kids that don't mind their parents and does the line, Bedtime Kids or I shoot work? They won't turn you into the CPS? ;-)
I remember back in the day when we were terrified by the Russians because they lived behind an iron curtain, which in my childish imagination was worse than an Iron lung. They were folks to avoid with out a doubt.
Fun chapter, Michael. I like your sense of humour.
Gloria
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Mikey.
This chapter is well told using great dialogue. What I really like is in all the chaos the human quality, and value and importance of life. You showed this well with the burial by the tree and Johnny's arm over the older woman's shoulder.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
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Hi, Mikey.
This chapter is well told using great dialogue. What I really like is in all the chaos the human quality, and value and importance of life. You showed this well with the burial by the tree and Johnny's arm over the older woman's shoulder.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Sasha
I enjoyed this chapter very much. I especially liked the humorous tone you gave to the tension of the battle. As usual, I have no suggestion...remember, I have a reputation to maintain!
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I enjoyed this chapter very much. I especially liked the humorous tone you gave to the tension of the battle. As usual, I have no suggestion...remember, I have a reputation to maintain!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from adewpearl
Nickolai deranged expression - Nickolai's
excellent dialogue throughout
you depict well how difficult life is when everyone has to be on guard and feels suspicious of everyone else
Brooke
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Nickolai deranged expression - Nickolai's
excellent dialogue throughout
you depict well how difficult life is when everyone has to be on guard and feels suspicious of everyone else
Brooke
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Nosha17
I can quite see you as the leader of the Fan story warriors!! In this life we need innovation and leadership, I would be no good as a leader, maybe an advisor. It was well organised, the assault, credit to you for that and the writing! It is very topical your story, with the Cold War returning right now! Russians have become the Number one enemy, again. Enjoyable chapter. Faye
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I can quite see you as the leader of the Fan story warriors!! In this life we need innovation and leadership, I would be no good as a leader, maybe an advisor. It was well organised, the assault, credit to you for that and the writing! It is very topical your story, with the Cold War returning right now! Russians have become the Number one enemy, again. Enjoyable chapter. Faye
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
