Cold Metal
Homeless Veteran70 total reviews
Comment from Sissy
Have you ever been to Normandy, David?
With your love of beaches, and if I'm guessing right, history, it is a must-see for you. There is something about standing on those beaches - the stillness - it's sacred somehow. Yet in the silence, you can somehow still feel a little part of the turbulence that once was. "Orchestra of ricochets" is perfect.
If you haven't been, get yourself there.
Obviously, I loved this.
Sis
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Have you ever been to Normandy, David?
With your love of beaches, and if I'm guessing right, history, it is a must-see for you. There is something about standing on those beaches - the stillness - it's sacred somehow. Yet in the silence, you can somehow still feel a little part of the turbulence that once was. "Orchestra of ricochets" is perfect.
If you haven't been, get yourself there.
Obviously, I loved this.
Sis
Comment Written 15-Apr-2014
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Dave. Good painting of sad pictures. my friend. Much of this is common, especially in our large cities as you know. Problems of the world...yet we tend to waste so much. Good job, Dave. Bob
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Hi, Dave. Good painting of sad pictures. my friend. Much of this is common, especially in our large cities as you know. Problems of the world...yet we tend to waste so much. Good job, Dave. Bob
Comment Written 22-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, my friend.
Comment from chasennov
'Cold Metal.' Who knows what goes on inside the minds of all those brave men who fought those World Wars on our behalf. We did not do enough for them, and still don't do much for them afterwards. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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'Cold Metal.' Who knows what goes on inside the minds of all those brave men who fought those World Wars on our behalf. We did not do enough for them, and still don't do much for them afterwards. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, chase!
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You are most welcome, Marillion.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Marillion,
Marvelous piece of War and History Poetry depicting its theme beautifully in a heart moving way!
Wording is simple, impressive and perfectly matching the theme.
Spontaneous and captivating flow from the beginning to the end.
Lovely rhyming scheme with lively imagery and pictorial quality.
The most striking lines are:
"and he remembers doing much the same
before he lost his wife and child and trade,
a grunt the Army trained to kill and maim,
but one who sits now in a hopeless trance,
a coffee can in hand, requesting aid,
but thinking of a bloody beach in France."
Superb!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Hello Marillion,
Marvelous piece of War and History Poetry depicting its theme beautifully in a heart moving way!
Wording is simple, impressive and perfectly matching the theme.
Spontaneous and captivating flow from the beginning to the end.
Lovely rhyming scheme with lively imagery and pictorial quality.
The most striking lines are:
"and he remembers doing much the same
before he lost his wife and child and trade,
a grunt the Army trained to kill and maim,
but one who sits now in a hopeless trance,
a coffee can in hand, requesting aid,
but thinking of a bloody beach in France."
Superb!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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RP, I really appreciate that sixer, my friend, and your very kind words. Thank you!
Comment from comanalbert
One of the most unfair things, another cruel joke from life and faith, and something we must prevent from happening. If we are what we are right now and we can live this kind of life, it is because others have sacrificed their own for all this to happen.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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One of the most unfair things, another cruel joke from life and faith, and something we must prevent from happening. If we are what we are right now and we can live this kind of life, it is because others have sacrificed their own for all this to happen.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, my friend!
Comment from Zue65
I have written also a poem along this theme about homeless veterans captured in your poem Cold Metal. The description was really vivid and clear in this poem which made your poem easy to read and understand. I like the last two lines, " He had survived, though, to complete his days, collecting coins= and scorn- from passersby. Bravo.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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I have written also a poem along this theme about homeless veterans captured in your poem Cold Metal. The description was really vivid and clear in this poem which made your poem easy to read and understand. I like the last two lines, " He had survived, though, to complete his days, collecting coins= and scorn- from passersby. Bravo.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, nassus, for your great insight and review. I really appreciate it.
Comment from victor 66
I never pass by a person in need without thinking, but for a twist of fate, that's me. I don't always help because sometimes I don't know how. But I never forget them, and I do help sometimes. That's the best I can do. Great poem. Thanks for bringing up our veterans, especially the ones in most need. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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I never pass by a person in need without thinking, but for a twist of fate, that's me. I don't always help because sometimes I don't know how. But I never forget them, and I do help sometimes. That's the best I can do. Great poem. Thanks for bringing up our veterans, especially the ones in most need. Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for your kindness, Victor, and for your great review!
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You are welcome.
Comment from Dave Russell
What a poignant read this is. You do a great job of telling thhis story...unfortunately this is a story that is all too commonplace. Thank you for sharing this one
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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What a poignant read this is. You do a great job of telling thhis story...unfortunately this is a story that is all too commonplace. Thank you for sharing this one
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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Dave, thank you so much for your great review. I really appreciate it!
Comment from Dirus
NIce job, good picture to go with the poem. The poem had good meaning to it. All looks good.Keep up the nice work and thank you for the nice poem. :)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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NIce job, good picture to go with the poem. The poem had good meaning to it. All looks good.Keep up the nice work and thank you for the nice poem. :)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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Thank you, Dirus!
Comment from mermaids
My father served three years of combat in WWII and had nightmares until he died at age 86. Your words capture well how the coins in the coffee can trigger the memories of the war and the reader has feelings for this homeless vet. Excellent poetic form that tells a story and reminds us to remember our vets.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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My father served three years of combat in WWII and had nightmares until he died at age 86. Your words capture well how the coins in the coffee can trigger the memories of the war and the reader has feelings for this homeless vet. Excellent poetic form that tells a story and reminds us to remember our vets.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, mermaids. My great uncle was similarly afflicted. I really appreciate your kind words and great review! David
