Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "A Ready Militia and Dreams"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
20 total reviews
Comment from nelliesellie
With the new people comes new information. The United States seems to be in name only. Many people seem to be coming in hopes if taking over parts of the country. Establishing homesteads and guarding them seems to be one of the most important steps. Great work
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With the new people comes new information. The United States seems to be in name only. Many people seem to be coming in hopes if taking over parts of the country. Establishing homesteads and guarding them seems to be one of the most important steps. Great work
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Petriesan
ticky, but : What once we tried to keep as our . . .flip once and we, and it does not snag as much
anything north is safe, if you don;t mind getting shot. . . .
lol 9 I really did
good chapter
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ticky, but : What once we tried to keep as our . . .flip once and we, and it does not snag as much
anything north is safe, if you don;t mind getting shot. . . .
lol 9 I really did
good chapter
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Sankey
Wow! Still moving along. Some confusion but then what's normal huh! Good you are gettingthe input and making it up as you go along. No spags shock horror!
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Wow! Still moving along. Some confusion but then what's normal huh! Good you are gettingthe input and making it up as you go along. No spags shock horror!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Good chapter. Getting everyone together is a nice start, but I see a road trip in the near future. So the Russians are invading through Canada and terrorists are roaming the country. I wonder if all countries are the same way or if everyone is trying to invade the US. This is becoming more like 'Walking dead'. A band of people who doesn't know who to trust, roaming around, trying to figure out what to do.
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Good chapter. Getting everyone together is a nice start, but I see a road trip in the near future. So the Russians are invading through Canada and terrorists are roaming the country. I wonder if all countries are the same way or if everyone is trying to invade the US. This is becoming more like 'Walking dead'. A band of people who doesn't know who to trust, roaming around, trying to figure out what to do.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2014
Comment from faragon
I like how you have the recap or the "story thus far" at the beginning of the chapter so we can catch up or at least familarize ourselves with the story line. I think in this section you meant to say "greet" - "great them." We all went to great them. Great story so far.
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I like how you have the recap or the "story thus far" at the beginning of the chapter so we can catch up or at least familarize ourselves with the story line. I think in this section you meant to say "greet" - "great them." We all went to great them. Great story so far.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
Comment from Sasha
Good build up of suspense as the Yosemite survivors unite and try to figure out who their common enemy is. I am reading as fast as I can to catch up and haven't written a review on all. I think I am almost caught up...at least I hope so.
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Good build up of suspense as the Yosemite survivors unite and try to figure out who their common enemy is. I am reading as fast as I can to catch up and haven't written a review on all. I think I am almost caught up...at least I hope so.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, this is a good turn in the plot with uniting and strategizing. So, we'd better pay attention to Christine's dreams still. The true enemy is a tough one to reveal. It would seem that some force has taken over the stealth bombers that are not regulation Air Force pilots, or the newcomers wouldn't be in the dark, too. So who is flying the planes? Russians, or are they puppets of a greater evil? Just a couple little spags:
backward quote marks here "Normally, Johnny.
"Here it is Russian" is there word missing or punctuation after is?
Better to say "my attention was drawn" rather than "became drawn"?
Meaning here? "Let's go great them." get them or greet them? same the first sentence in the next paragraph.
Well developing story. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Mikey, this is a good turn in the plot with uniting and strategizing. So, we'd better pay attention to Christine's dreams still. The true enemy is a tough one to reveal. It would seem that some force has taken over the stealth bombers that are not regulation Air Force pilots, or the newcomers wouldn't be in the dark, too. So who is flying the planes? Russians, or are they puppets of a greater evil? Just a couple little spags:
backward quote marks here "Normally, Johnny.
"Here it is Russian" is there word missing or punctuation after is?
Better to say "my attention was drawn" rather than "became drawn"?
Meaning here? "Let's go great them." get them or greet them? same the first sentence in the next paragraph.
Well developing story. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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I wonder how that happens? There is only one quote key on my keyboard. They have me trying to eliminate "was" from my vocabulary. Hahaha. I get real awkward trying to do that, "I" is another bad word. Pretty hard to do in the first person. They have a point though. Yes, greet. Glad you're liking it. I'm feeling less frazzled about it now. mikey
Comment from 24chas
You continue to surprise, mikey. This story is really getting to be a train that can't be stopped. How do you write this one and the Angela one as well. Awesome!
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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You continue to surprise, mikey. This story is really getting to be a train that can't be stopped. How do you write this one and the Angela one as well. Awesome!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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I think because they are off the top of my head maybe. This one is on my mind though. But, the Angela one isn't in my brain unless I am writing it. Plus I am used to endless distractions from the crazy people here. mikey
Comment from ProjectBluebook
These soldiers must be coming from farther North. Somehow, I get the eerie feeling they are withholding something. The dreams help me to confirm that the enemy is Russian. Best beware, the Bering straits are full of Russian submarines, it's called submarine alley, I tracked a few there and off the coast of Northern California around 1983? Citizens never knew of this, if they only knew but I had a secret clearance and couldn't reveal information to the public and scare them. I doubt subs were effected by the nuclear war, they still roam and can pop up under the cove rof darkness anywhere along coastal waters, maybe, you can consider that, they launch I.C.B.M.'s. Seems these dreams are coming true. Enjoyed the read, Mikey, keep up your good work, wackydo
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These soldiers must be coming from farther North. Somehow, I get the eerie feeling they are withholding something. The dreams help me to confirm that the enemy is Russian. Best beware, the Bering straits are full of Russian submarines, it's called submarine alley, I tracked a few there and off the coast of Northern California around 1983? Citizens never knew of this, if they only knew but I had a secret clearance and couldn't reveal information to the public and scare them. I doubt subs were effected by the nuclear war, they still roam and can pop up under the cove rof darkness anywhere along coastal waters, maybe, you can consider that, they launch I.C.B.M.'s. Seems these dreams are coming true. Enjoyed the read, Mikey, keep up your good work, wackydo
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
Comment from adewpearl
I joined Christine, who hugged - add the comma
I didn't dream, Christine - add comma for direct address
That's right, sir - add comma
The capitol is there - capital
There are terrorist's - drop the apostrophe
Excellent dialogue
Good build up of suspense as the Yosemite survivors unite and try to figure out who their common enemy is
Brooke
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I joined Christine, who hugged - add the comma
I didn't dream, Christine - add comma for direct address
That's right, sir - add comma
The capitol is there - capital
There are terrorist's - drop the apostrophe
Excellent dialogue
Good build up of suspense as the Yosemite survivors unite and try to figure out who their common enemy is
Brooke
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
