Consider the Fallen Leaf
Checking the ground where I walk.38 total reviews
Comment from Carrie Carson
This is lovely. I wouldn't have thought that of "remnants" but that's the beauty of poetry, right?
No spag, good form and flow. I'm starting to like free verse more and more as I spend time on FS.
Great job with this one. :) Carrie
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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This is lovely. I wouldn't have thought that of "remnants" but that's the beauty of poetry, right?
No spag, good form and flow. I'm starting to like free verse more and more as I spend time on FS.
Great job with this one. :) Carrie
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thank you Carrie for reading my work and for the awesome comments.
Comment from RGstar
This is so beautifully written.
What imagery?
You have captured the essence of both life and time, together with emotions of both.
I have been taking a back seat a while because of a lack of motivation.
This motivates me.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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This is so beautifully written.
What imagery?
You have captured the essence of both life and time, together with emotions of both.
I have been taking a back seat a while because of a lack of motivation.
This motivates me.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 16-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much Roy.
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My pleasure :)
Comment from amanda98653
An exceptional write, Nancy:)
I really like the repetition of "consider" at the beginning.The overall tone of the poem is solemn and full of nostalgia.
"Torn from the mother branch,
dry and wrinkled away, twisted and turned--
lifeless,
so we think. "
Those words emphasize the ruthlessness of time. It changes everything.
Very touching phrases:
"But one remained on my palm:
a reminder,
perhaps,
that we always leave something behind... "
stunning
hugs
Amanda
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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An exceptional write, Nancy:)
I really like the repetition of "consider" at the beginning.The overall tone of the poem is solemn and full of nostalgia.
"Torn from the mother branch,
dry and wrinkled away, twisted and turned--
lifeless,
so we think. "
Those words emphasize the ruthlessness of time. It changes everything.
Very touching phrases:
"But one remained on my palm:
a reminder,
perhaps,
that we always leave something behind... "
stunning
hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Amanda, what a great pleasure to hear from you. Thank you!
Comment from bard owl
What an excellently thoughtful contest entry. There are endless ways a mortal connects to nature and your poem tells of the lesson a fallen leaf can teach us. With everything we touch, a bit of us is left behind. The imagery is quite clear. Excellent read - one to think about. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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What an excellently thoughtful contest entry. There are endless ways a mortal connects to nature and your poem tells of the lesson a fallen leaf can teach us. With everything we touch, a bit of us is left behind. The imagery is quite clear. Excellent read - one to think about. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much Linda.
Comment from Joan E.
I have had similar experiences, cradling fallen leaves in my hand. I enjoyed your use of alliteration and repeats to intensify your message about intentionally leaving something behind. Cheers and happy weekend when it arrives- Joan
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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I have had similar experiences, cradling fallen leaves in my hand. I enjoyed your use of alliteration and repeats to intensify your message about intentionally leaving something behind. Cheers and happy weekend when it arrives- Joan
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Dear Joan. Thank you for reading this work.
Comment from Andrewajgblue
I really liked this poem I know it's about a leaf but you manage to make people think about what will they leave behind , I found it very touching and thought provoking ,well done thank you
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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I really liked this poem I know it's about a leaf but you manage to make people think about what will they leave behind , I found it very touching and thought provoking ,well done thank you
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you for reading my work, Andrew. I also want to welcome to Fanstory! Much fun and success to you.
Comment from ravenblack
What works so well with this one is that you never come out with any specific why on why we should consider the fallen leaf, just let those little gold flecks left behind speak for themselves, what the reader wants to see.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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What works so well with this one is that you never come out with any specific why on why we should consider the fallen leaf, just let those little gold flecks left behind speak for themselves, what the reader wants to see.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for your incisive review to this work.
Comment from jadapenn
This is a wonderful tribute to the fallen leaf, Amada. It touched my heart. We don't always think that something so simple can perhaps be seeking a little warmth or friendship in it's final hours. Best wishes for the contest. I enjoyed. luv jada
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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This is a wonderful tribute to the fallen leaf, Amada. It touched my heart. We don't always think that something so simple can perhaps be seeking a little warmth or friendship in it's final hours. Best wishes for the contest. I enjoyed. luv jada
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
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Jada, thank you so much for this wonderful affirmation to my work. Blessings to you as well.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is a good read and a fine entry or the contest. I particularly like your stanza beginning 'But one remained.... At least we know the tree from whence the leaf came is alive - just shedding skin, as we humans do every day. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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This is a good read and a fine entry or the contest. I particularly like your stanza beginning 'But one remained.... At least we know the tree from whence the leaf came is alive - just shedding skin, as we humans do every day. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for this beautiful read to my work. An honor.
Comment from mfowler
Your signature line of 'Consider the fallen leaf' is reminiscent of the gospel text: Consider the birds of the air..etc, one of the most profound and loved biblical texts. You have used it with tenderness in this beautiful free verse. It takes the reader to the image immediately with its enticement. And then you speculate about the philosophical ramifications of its spent life: perhaps,
that we always leave something behind...
a smile
a sparkle
a sigh
Your structure and rhythm is almost perfect here, and is aided by occasional subtle rhyming, beautiful imagery, and of course the repetition mentioned above.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Your signature line of 'Consider the fallen leaf' is reminiscent of the gospel text: Consider the birds of the air..etc, one of the most profound and loved biblical texts. You have used it with tenderness in this beautiful free verse. It takes the reader to the image immediately with its enticement. And then you speculate about the philosophical ramifications of its spent life: perhaps,
that we always leave something behind...
a smile
a sparkle
a sigh
Your structure and rhythm is almost perfect here, and is aided by occasional subtle rhyming, beautiful imagery, and of course the repetition mentioned above.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Thank you for reading and commenting in this work. An honor
