Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Romance & Stealth"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
18 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This is really getting interesting...not that it wasn't already. Great chapter and I am pleased these people appear to be kind and helpful.
  |
This is really getting interesting...not that it wasn't already. Great chapter and I am pleased these people appear to be kind and helpful.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
Comment from ravenblack
When you originally wrote this, was it during the Clinton presidency when certain whackadoos were seeing black helicopters fearing a u.n. takeover? I never received a message on this one. It must have been the one that duplicated 6 times in my messages. The site solution must have been to delete them all.
|
When you originally wrote this, was it during the Clinton presidency when certain whackadoos were seeing black helicopters fearing a u.n. takeover? I never received a message on this one. It must have been the one that duplicated 6 times in my messages. The site solution must have been to delete them all.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Great set up of possibilities. The hillbillies are good guys. Yea!! Nice touch. One of theirs a dreamer too. Hmmm. Interesting. Ma is a great character. Hope to see her again. NG
|
Great set up of possibilities. The hillbillies are good guys. Yea!! Nice touch. One of theirs a dreamer too. Hmmm. Interesting. Ma is a great character. Hope to see her again. NG
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from 24chas
Nice chapter, mikey. I like the characters who are left right now. I think Ma is a keeper. I got a real feeling of foreboding after I finished this chapter.
|
Nice chapter, mikey. I like the characters who are left right now. I think Ma is a keeper. I got a real feeling of foreboding after I finished this chapter.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good episode. Ma seems pretty smart..they should listen to her.
Christine was stirring finally. "How did you manage to sleep through all of that?"
Putting that in the same paragraph makes it sound like Chris is talking. Both speech and actions of diff people need separate paragraphs.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
|
Good episode. Ma seems pretty smart..they should listen to her.
Christine was stirring finally. "How did you manage to sleep through all of that?"
Putting that in the same paragraph makes it sound like Chris is talking. Both speech and actions of diff people need separate paragraphs.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
-
Okay. I stumbled over that later too. I'll fix that. I like Ma. I think they should listen to her as well. Thank you very much, mikey
Comment from adewpearl
the eyes of the smiling Christine, who remained - add comma
It's aliens, Lester - add comma for direct address
Their American planes - They're
Excellent dialogue throughout
You continue to build suspense and an atmosphere of impending doom well
Brooke
|
the eyes of the smiling Christine, who remained - add comma
It's aliens, Lester - add comma for direct address
Their American planes - They're
Excellent dialogue throughout
You continue to build suspense and an atmosphere of impending doom well
Brooke
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
Comment from CR Delport
I am sooo way behind in reviewing :) This story has picked up a lot since I last saw it. It is really interesting and well written. I saw no obvious errors.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
|
I am sooo way behind in reviewing :) This story has picked up a lot since I last saw it. It is really interesting and well written. I saw no obvious errors.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
-
Glad you're finding it interesting. I passed the point where the original story ended. So, flying blind as usual! I wonder how I would do If I followed some rules. Hahaha.
Comment from l.raven
Well Michael you are doing great...how did you get all this and you don't seem half done.....out of a book that was finished...???..LOL...OK Now lets see whats next...Luff Linda xxoo
|
Well Michael you are doing great...how did you get all this and you don't seem half done.....out of a book that was finished...???..LOL...OK Now lets see whats next...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Another great chapter. I thought the relationship with Johnny and Christine was cute but weird. I have to wonder at the military's interest. Also, do we really trust the group of hillbillies? What did Ma mean when she said, "Ya already had that feller kilt"? Does she know they had decided to kill off dead weight? If so, would she still welcome them to stay? Many questions. Many possible directions to go.
|
Another great chapter. I thought the relationship with Johnny and Christine was cute but weird. I have to wonder at the military's interest. Also, do we really trust the group of hillbillies? What did Ma mean when she said, "Ya already had that feller kilt"? Does she know they had decided to kill off dead weight? If so, would she still welcome them to stay? Many questions. Many possible directions to go.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Awe-----eeh, now you are talking, Stealth B-1 bombers, awesome. This picture steals the scene. I'm captivated, after all, that's what i did in the Navy, fly, soar high, you are free as a bird, great feeling away from civilization. Good humor, Johnny must have been a chick, who is the father,me forget, not that David, I surely hope. Marvelous!
|
Awe-----eeh, now you are talking, Stealth B-1 bombers, awesome. This picture steals the scene. I'm captivated, after all, that's what i did in the Navy, fly, soar high, you are free as a bird, great feeling away from civilization. Good humor, Johnny must have been a chick, who is the father,me forget, not that David, I surely hope. Marvelous!
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
