Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Philosophy Jones"A collection of my poems
63 total reviews
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
This is an exceptional story in a poem. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. It was a good short short story in rhyming lines that were so natural that the rhyming was almost unnoticed in this easy read. Thanks for sharing. Bob
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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This is an exceptional story in a poem. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. It was a good short short story in rhyming lines that were so natural that the rhyming was almost unnoticed in this easy read. Thanks for sharing. Bob
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Bob, thanks so much for the kind words and the six stars - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from Jawa78
A lilting poem with dependable metre (Aussie spelling) and a delightful story on a well known theme. your work reminds me of a couple of Australian classic poets from more than a century ago. (Google Henry Lawson and Banjo Patterson?) The Man from Snowy River, and Clancy of the overflow are favorites.
Well done, and best wishes,
jawa78
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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A lilting poem with dependable metre (Aussie spelling) and a delightful story on a well known theme. your work reminds me of a couple of Australian classic poets from more than a century ago. (Google Henry Lawson and Banjo Patterson?) The Man from Snowy River, and Clancy of the overflow are favorites.
Well done, and best wishes,
jawa78
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Jawa
Banjo Patterson is one of my favourites. If you look further back in my portfolio you will find other poems that reflect my liking for his works e.g. The Coat-Tail Ghost and Smiler Jack
This one perhaps owes more to Robert Service who was the Canadian version of Patterson.
Steve
Comment from Hollyhock
Great story-telling. I loved the patterning with the internal rhymes and the scene-setting and the different characters. In fact, I loved it all.
Although the story is not new you gave it an original "feel" and there is no point at which the reader would lose interest thinking they had heard it all before.
Excellent, well-enjoyed, good luck!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Great story-telling. I loved the patterning with the internal rhymes and the scene-setting and the different characters. In fact, I loved it all.
Although the story is not new you gave it an original "feel" and there is no point at which the reader would lose interest thinking they had heard it all before.
Excellent, well-enjoyed, good luck!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Hi, Andrea.
Thanks for the lovely review.
Hope all is well with you and your farming and other enterprises.....
Steve
Comment from Cariboubill
This is fantastic poetry. It smacks of Robert Service! You have done a great job with your rhymes within the first and third lines in each verse. And, then, to get good rhymes for the endings, too. Wow! I bet an audience would love to hear this recited. No complaints, just praise!
...Bill
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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This is fantastic poetry. It smacks of Robert Service! You have done a great job with your rhymes within the first and third lines in each verse. And, then, to get good rhymes for the endings, too. Wow! I bet an audience would love to hear this recited. No complaints, just praise!
...Bill
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Bill.
No coincidence about the Robert Service touch - I borrowed rhyme scheme and meter from The Cremation of Sam Magee - well spotted!
Steve
Comment from juliaSjames
I don't know the O. Henry story, but you made me smile with the ironic twist in the tail of your tale.
Excellent rhyme and rollicking meter enhance the history of your engaging rogue.
What a wonderful name, Philosophy Jones.
Good luck in the contest, Steve.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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I don't know the O. Henry story, but you made me smile with the ironic twist in the tail of your tale.
Excellent rhyme and rollicking meter enhance the history of your engaging rogue.
What a wonderful name, Philosophy Jones.
Good luck in the contest, Steve.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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The story was called 'The Cop and the Anthem' - easy to find online if you want to read it, but be warned O. henry never used one word when a dozen would do. His character was called Soapy.
Thanks for a wonderful review.
Steve
Comment from Alan K Pease
You have told a good story about one of the street people a little more to the criminal than I have encountered who like yours wouldn't mind if he was incarcerated to spend a warm -well fed night or a pew in a church. I haven't read of any of O Henrys stories, but may encounter them in time,
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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You have told a good story about one of the street people a little more to the criminal than I have encountered who like yours wouldn't mind if he was incarcerated to spend a warm -well fed night or a pew in a church. I haven't read of any of O Henrys stories, but may encounter them in time,
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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The story was called 'The Cop and the Anthem' - easy to find online if you want to read it, but be warned O. henry never used one word when a dozen would do. His character was called Soapy.
Thanks for a wonderful review.
Steve
Comment from Dirus
HI kiwisteveh,
Thank you for th enice poem. I liked th epicture and colors. they helped set the mood. I liked th elast part the most. good closure. keep up the good work and thanks again. :)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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HI kiwisteveh,
Thank you for th enice poem. I liked th epicture and colors. they helped set the mood. I liked th elast part the most. good closure. keep up the good work and thanks again. :)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
good abcb rhyming
and internal rhyming in the b and d lines
good use of personification
excellent alliteration in phrases like broken and broke
compelling story line
I love O Henry - you've used his inspiration well in your story poem :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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good abcb rhyming
and internal rhyming in the b and d lines
good use of personification
excellent alliteration in phrases like broken and broke
compelling story line
I love O Henry - you've used his inspiration well in your story poem :-) Brooke
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Brooke - thanks for the lovely review.
Steve
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
A good read
"I've been looking for you; there's a warrant or two
and a judge who knows you well.
"'Fore the night is through, I'm telling you,
you'll be tucked up in your cell!"
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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A good read
"I've been looking for you; there's a warrant or two
and a judge who knows you well.
"'Fore the night is through, I'm telling you,
you'll be tucked up in your cell!"
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from pipersfancy
This is a wonderful story, and I enjoyed the dialogue woven into the telling! The alternating long and short lines added interest to the piece, and kept it moving along. Really nice work! Good luck with this piece in the contest!
PF
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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This is a wonderful story, and I enjoyed the dialogue woven into the telling! The alternating long and short lines added interest to the piece, and kept it moving along. Really nice work! Good luck with this piece in the contest!
PF
Comment Written 23-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks, PF - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
