Let's Love Today
a pantoum, that blew in on today's winter rains45 total reviews
Comment from DR DIP
what a beautiful write V thoroughly enjoyed this with some wonderful similes and metaphors thankyou for posting and sharing with us
dip
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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what a beautiful write V thoroughly enjoyed this with some wonderful similes and metaphors thankyou for posting and sharing with us
dip
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Bless you Dr Dip! Thank you so much for your lovely six! this is an old one - I'd forgotten how much I love the pantoum form! How have you been? I'm afraid I've not had much time for writing new stuff this year - busy editing my show and trying to put it on!!! Blessings, my dear!
big hugs
Sharyn
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yeah I'm good now had a bit of downtime across summer period November to Feb in oz
Love writing a couple of poems a night
dip
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I was just in Sydney in November! Love it there! You up for coffee next time round perhaps??? And what was the downtime?? You ok???
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Just suffered a bit of depression but I am great now that's why I hadn't come to fanstory for about 4 months
dip
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Say when you are next up in Sydney
dip
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"just depression" can be a really crappy experience Dip - my husband has a problem and there are some dark days!
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I suffer from bi polar depression v I have it under control but the manic highs and deep lows can play havoc with yourself and your family they have great patience
xxdip
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I understand! This is one of the most difficult things for people to cope with, dip. I applaud your courage and tenacity, my dear. :)Sharyn
Comment from poesyapprentice
Nothing personal at all, darlin', but I don't like the form...wrinkling my nose as I say the word, pantoum. The repetition drives me to distraction, I'm afraid, BUT, having said all that yucky business, I think yours is one of the best I've ever seen, and that's the truth! (Of course, I always tell you the truth, so never doubt that, my dear). I love the deviation that you made in the final stanza, love that your beginning and ending lines of the poem were the same. What a wonderful line it is! Fab ending stanza altogether. My fav. Actually, its a big part of what makes me want to give you a six. I'm still debating....hmmm, it's not really fair to not give you one just because I'm not a fan of the form when there is so much which is lovely about your poem. It has delicious layers, you know, and sings such a sensual song. The wind whispers the melody...you make it so, with phrasing, consonance, tone. Ok, I'm convinced. Lol, but you already knew that ; ) A beautiful poem, Sharyn. I like this side of you, too. Yes, very much. Hugs!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Nothing personal at all, darlin', but I don't like the form...wrinkling my nose as I say the word, pantoum. The repetition drives me to distraction, I'm afraid, BUT, having said all that yucky business, I think yours is one of the best I've ever seen, and that's the truth! (Of course, I always tell you the truth, so never doubt that, my dear). I love the deviation that you made in the final stanza, love that your beginning and ending lines of the poem were the same. What a wonderful line it is! Fab ending stanza altogether. My fav. Actually, its a big part of what makes me want to give you a six. I'm still debating....hmmm, it's not really fair to not give you one just because I'm not a fan of the form when there is so much which is lovely about your poem. It has delicious layers, you know, and sings such a sensual song. The wind whispers the melody...you make it so, with phrasing, consonance, tone. Ok, I'm convinced. Lol, but you already knew that ; ) A beautiful poem, Sharyn. I like this side of you, too. Yes, very much. Hugs!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Well I'm just trying to shake my brains loose and see if I can still write Marsha ... how can you go wrong with a pantoum? It's more like a crossword puzzle, right? Very cerebral. The challenge is to make it 'sing' a little ... so despite yourself, I'm glad I squeezed a lovely sixer out of you honey. How goes it????? Full report please!!! PM! :) and thank you for your sweet six!
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See if you can still write?! Madame, that's ludicrous!! Of course you can write, lol! Your lovely play drained you some, yes, but your writing talent, I do believe, is eternal and runs all the way down to your sandy, painted toes! Ha! Brain still working-- check! Sang, indeed! Night, you ; )
Comment from xotic flotsam
The line is blurred as you meld into each other. Reminds me of mist melted away up to Ireland's highlands. Carpe diem for love. Who knows what lies ahead? You are sea and sky. Your love is sea and sky. I feel caressed reading your well crafted pantoum. I like your idea better. Sometimes rules bend for the poet. be well.
x
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2013
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The line is blurred as you meld into each other. Reminds me of mist melted away up to Ireland's highlands. Carpe diem for love. Who knows what lies ahead? You are sea and sky. Your love is sea and sky. I feel caressed reading your well crafted pantoum. I like your idea better. Sometimes rules bend for the poet. be well.
x
Comment Written 20-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2013
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Bless you sweetheart for your lovely sixer on this one. I think it's good to bend the rules occasionally, and I know you do too, hmm?
big smiles!
Sharyn
Comment from pattipac
Love how your pantoum paints a vivid picture of lovers who seize the day, for no one know what what lies ahead. Your well penned poem deserve a six, but alas I have none to give. Your excellent word choice and rhyme-scheme ebb and flow like gentle waves.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2013
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Love how your pantoum paints a vivid picture of lovers who seize the day, for no one know what what lies ahead. Your well penned poem deserve a six, but alas I have none to give. Your excellent word choice and rhyme-scheme ebb and flow like gentle waves.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2013
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and glad you liked this one too! :)
Comment from Hollyhock
Beautifully sensual and sensitive. I loved the delicacy of this one, and all the links - lacy mist, gauzy curtains - wreaths of winter's breath, you smile and sigh - bending grasses t'wards the earth, the wind caresses us. This is so tightly woven that every reading reveals another subtle layer. The images of nature reflect the mainly unspoken images of togetherness. Despite its gentleness and rather reflective tone this is a powerful and very emotive piece of writing.
You have written many lovely things but this is stunningly beautiful. I think you write your best when you are "restricted" by the form and you really have to stretch your skills instead of just allowing the words to flow. (This is not a criticism of your free verse, just an observation on your talent and how you use it!)
Incidentally I am still around, (obviously) just not having much "write" in me at the moment.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Beautifully sensual and sensitive. I loved the delicacy of this one, and all the links - lacy mist, gauzy curtains - wreaths of winter's breath, you smile and sigh - bending grasses t'wards the earth, the wind caresses us. This is so tightly woven that every reading reveals another subtle layer. The images of nature reflect the mainly unspoken images of togetherness. Despite its gentleness and rather reflective tone this is a powerful and very emotive piece of writing.
You have written many lovely things but this is stunningly beautiful. I think you write your best when you are "restricted" by the form and you really have to stretch your skills instead of just allowing the words to flow. (This is not a criticism of your free verse, just an observation on your talent and how you use it!)
Incidentally I am still around, (obviously) just not having much "write" in me at the moment.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2013
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Wow! Bless you Andrea - haven't seen you posting for a while! Thank you so much for reviewing this piece (I loved it too!) And I'd agree with your comments - I'm a motor-mouth in free verse! Always good to have that observation confirmed and make me hone things down even more!
Blessings to you ... are you posting poetry these days? haven't seen you around for a while??
:) Sharyn
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The muse is rather muted at the moment. A few problems with different generations at home and like yo I have been busy with other things. My singing group did a charity night for Motor Neurone Disease and that took a tremendous amount of my energy and creativity. I think I am still in recovery!Regards, Andrea
Comment from Jendowoz
It's all about making your work, your own so changing it to suit your needs is a great admission on what a talented and original writwr you are. Using the format as a guidline is good and smart thinking. Loved this piece and read well aloud too.
regards, Jen
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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It's all about making your work, your own so changing it to suit your needs is a great admission on what a talented and original writwr you are. Using the format as a guidline is good and smart thinking. Loved this piece and read well aloud too.
regards, Jen
Comment Written 17-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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thx so much Jen! :)S
Comment from ravenblack
A pantoum carpe diem that is both technically well-done and fresh. Winter's breath and oceans kiss , death and life mingling in frantic gusts- the desperation of need to stave off death - like the howl of those winds. Sorry this is so late. Had to take a burnt out from reviewing break.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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A pantoum carpe diem that is both technically well-done and fresh. Winter's breath and oceans kiss , death and life mingling in frantic gusts- the desperation of need to stave off death - like the howl of those winds. Sorry this is so late. Had to take a burnt out from reviewing break.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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Thx so much Ed! I know the 'burnt out' feeling - I'm afraid my brain is still pretty fried so I'm not writing or reviewing much myself. Glad you found time for this one though, and a huge 'thank you' for that lovely sixer!
:)Sharyn
Comment from l.raven
HI Sharyn, I love the feeling of this poem...gives ya chills just thinking about curling up for the evening...so very well expressed and very well written...luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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HI Sharyn, I love the feeling of this poem...gives ya chills just thinking about curling up for the evening...so very well expressed and very well written...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 16-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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Bless you Linda! :)S
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Bless you too luv...Luff xxoo
Comment from fairy77
That was really nices and caresses and you smile:)Brings back nice memories and I've missed your pieces.Well done and happy holidays:)Great pantoum!beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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That was really nices and caresses and you smile:)Brings back nice memories and I've missed your pieces.Well done and happy holidays:)Great pantoum!beth fairy77.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
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Bless you Beth! I'm still pretty busy, so not writing/ reviewing much at the moment ... I'm on a theatre wavelength for a while, but having lots of fun. Went on a 12 mile HIKE yesterday - OMG! I CAN HARDLY WALK TODAY! yikes! How are YOU??? Sorry I haven't been reviewing much lately!
big hugs
Sharyn
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I have the flu bug but otherwise well:)That's an amazing achievement congrats.I've missed you and hope you have some holiday pieces:)Happy Thanksgiving!beth hugs.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Sharyn,
I enjoyed this one - and all the layers of love blowing in from many angles - unique and creative my friend I thought it was beautiful, graceful - you should have entered in the contest.:)
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
I enjoyed this one - and all the layers of love blowing in from many angles - unique and creative my friend I thought it was beautiful, graceful - you should have entered in the contest.:)
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 16-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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thx so much Maureen! :)S (I'd already entered another one) :)
