Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Wiyaphe Moon"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Morning, Bev-san
and a Happy Thanksgiving to you. I hope you have a wonderful day and am thrilled to find your chapter in BOM contest. I regret I've missed so much of this series (as I have with many other writers), but I found the manner in which you provided the introduction and then developed the theme, I was quickly taken into the mood and moment of the write.
Your prose writing skills have really bloomed beautifully, Bev. I am impressed with the manner in which you are writing and how well you are able to keep the reader's attention.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Ray
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Good Morning, Bev-san
and a Happy Thanksgiving to you. I hope you have a wonderful day and am thrilled to find your chapter in BOM contest. I regret I've missed so much of this series (as I have with many other writers), but I found the manner in which you provided the introduction and then developed the theme, I was quickly taken into the mood and moment of the write.
Your prose writing skills have really bloomed beautifully, Bev. I am impressed with the manner in which you are writing and how well you are able to keep the reader's attention.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Ray
Comment Written 28-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Ray, thank you so very much. I appreciate that you notice the improvement in my writing. I'm learning as I go thanks to great reviewers and taking online classes. They have been invaluable! How gracious of you to read my chapter and award me that lovely sixth star, and thanks for the good luck wishes. As usual, I'm in very good company. Happy Holiday, my friend. :0) Bev
Comment from MM lives on :)
Wow...wow Bev
you are such a talent indeed and so few have what you have.. If you can keep the att of a constant loss of matter thinker than my god.. and you did that and more.. I will have to start stopping by your profile more often.. Thank you for sharing and thank you for always taking the time with my poetry ..
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013
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Wow...wow Bev
you are such a talent indeed and so few have what you have.. If you can keep the att of a constant loss of matter thinker than my god.. and you did that and more.. I will have to start stopping by your profile more often.. Thank you for sharing and thank you for always taking the time with my poetry ..
Comment Written 15-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2013
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I'm humbled and honored by your words and generosity, Christopher. Thank you so much for the encouragement and support. Kindest regards, Bev
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well deserved my dear friend :)
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Comment from Adri7enne
I'm alone in the house, reading this, and my little dog suddenly starts barking and staring at the door. Scared the hell out of me. Whew! Lots of tension in your story. I don't believe in hell and the devil, but you scared me anyway. That's powerful writing, Bev!
A gripping tale, told with a sharp, edgy style. Way to go, Bev!
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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I'm alone in the house, reading this, and my little dog suddenly starts barking and staring at the door. Scared the hell out of me. Whew! Lots of tension in your story. I don't believe in hell and the devil, but you scared me anyway. That's powerful writing, Bev!
A gripping tale, told with a sharp, edgy style. Way to go, Bev!
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much, Adrienne. It actually thrills me to know that this story spooked you. Sorry, but it does tell me I'm doing something right LOL. Your support and generosity are very much appreciate, my friend. Big Hug, Bev
So, when are we going to see your next project?
xxx
Comment from JM daSilva
Brain wasn't deceived and he managed to be successful. Good job.
courage and opened the door of the room(,) where he thought the sound originated.
occupy the room of the man he replaced, despite the fact that it was spacious(,) with remained(,) which further unsettled him.
with holy oil and locked(,) following Lewis Flaherty's trial and incarceration. Brian
just beyond his tail. He freed the dog(,) which landed with a soft thud(,) and dropped so fast(remove , or use that) he thought he might be seeing things. But Alyx's
Those who die by their own hand become mine, Priest ( I would use lowercase since the form of address is father). Attack me and you attack her. A different, guttural
"You are an obscene illusion. My mother's not in danger, but you are, you unholy Bastard(b)!"
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Brain wasn't deceived and he managed to be successful. Good job.
courage and opened the door of the room(,) where he thought the sound originated.
occupy the room of the man he replaced, despite the fact that it was spacious(,) with remained(,) which further unsettled him.
with holy oil and locked(,) following Lewis Flaherty's trial and incarceration. Brian
just beyond his tail. He freed the dog(,) which landed with a soft thud(,) and dropped so fast(remove , or use that) he thought he might be seeing things. But Alyx's
Those who die by their own hand become mine, Priest ( I would use lowercase since the form of address is father). Attack me and you attack her. A different, guttural
"You are an obscene illusion. My mother's not in danger, but you are, you unholy Bastard(b)!"
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much, JM. I always appreciate your taking time to further edit my writing. You manage to see things that elude me! Warmest regards, Bev
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Great pleasure.
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Thanks, sweet guy. :0)
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Great pleasure.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Writingfundimension
The story is well written and is full of tension.
Hoping that her stay in purgatory will cause her to repent. I think I have jumped into the middle of this great story. Keep it up. Must find time to read the back chapters.
Cheers
Sylvia
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Writingfundimension
The story is well written and is full of tension.
Hoping that her stay in purgatory will cause her to repent. I think I have jumped into the middle of this great story. Keep it up. Must find time to read the back chapters.
Cheers
Sylvia
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Thank you for your great review, Sylvia. I appreciate you taking time to read. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from DALLAS01
Wow, Bev. Your vivid portrait of what transpires in Monsignor Flaherty's quarters sent chills up my spine. It was like watching it at an I Max theater. Made me think what a great movie this book would make.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Wow, Bev. Your vivid portrait of what transpires in Monsignor Flaherty's quarters sent chills up my spine. It was like watching it at an I Max theater. Made me think what a great movie this book would make.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Hi, Dallas. Good to hear from you. Thank you very much for this gracious and very generous review. :0) Bev
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You're welcome. Been M.I.A. for a while. My mom passed. It was really a blessing as she was comatose for several years, I suppose that is comforting, but it doesn't remove the sting. Trying to regain focus.
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I wondered, but hesitated to ask. I am very sorry for your loss, Dallas. Losing a mom at any age is very tough. I'll send up a prayer for all of you.
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Thanks Bev. Prayers appreciated.
Comment from lakeport
Along the Jericho road, indeed there is a lot of suspense going on. I enjoyed reading the story. God bless you. Lakeport....
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Along the Jericho road, indeed there is a lot of suspense going on. I enjoyed reading the story. God bless you. Lakeport....
Comment Written 31-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Thanks, lakeport. I really appreciate your encouraging review! :0) Bev
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your welcome.lakeport.
Comment from mfowler
Anyone who thinks a priest has an easy life will be put right after reading this. I didn't really want to read it when I started (not my genre at all) but your writing was so compelling that I ventured on. I got lost in the action and atmosphere that you've skilfully created here. This is a good story, well told.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Anyone who thinks a priest has an easy life will be put right after reading this. I didn't really want to read it when I started (not my genre at all) but your writing was so compelling that I ventured on. I got lost in the action and atmosphere that you've skilfully created here. This is a good story, well told.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Your review is especially nice, M, as this is not a genre you normally like. I really value your generosity and encouragement. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Eleanor Buron
Excellent writing - the background clearly becomes visible. Fr. Brian, Alyx, the voices of Brian's mother and Satan, all credible and strong. Sound effects are perfect in their setting: the creak in the floor, the slamming doors, statue shattering against the wall, etc. - I think you have great talent for pulling the reader into the story. The tension is tangible!
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Excellent writing - the background clearly becomes visible. Fr. Brian, Alyx, the voices of Brian's mother and Satan, all credible and strong. Sound effects are perfect in their setting: the creak in the floor, the slamming doors, statue shattering against the wall, etc. - I think you have great talent for pulling the reader into the story. The tension is tangible!
Comment Written 30-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much, Elly. I really appreciate your generosity and support. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from gramalot8
Writingforfun... I havn't read the other chapters, but this one is sure a spooky chapter. I really could feel the intensity as Brian searched through each room. Thank goodness he has Alyx to cling to. Great job and I hope to go back, read the others and look forward to see what happens next.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2013
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Writingforfun... I havn't read the other chapters, but this one is sure a spooky chapter. I really could feel the intensity as Brian searched through each room. Thank goodness he has Alyx to cling to. Great job and I hope to go back, read the others and look forward to see what happens next.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2013
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Hi, G. I am dog lover can you tell LOL! Thank you for stopping by to read my latest chapter. I really appreciage both your generosity and support. Warmest regards, Bev
