Ode to Rain
Send 'er down, Hughie24 total reviews
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Lovely, lovely lovely.
So very smooth flowing invoking so sweet ly those images I have not seen for a long long time, living in a jungle of tall buildings.
I love very much.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Lovely, lovely lovely.
So very smooth flowing invoking so sweet ly those images I have not seen for a long long time, living in a jungle of tall buildings.
I love very much.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 14-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Benny, thanks for the very nice review.
Steve
Comment from S A Bullen
Congratulations on your placing in the ode comp. Well done. It was a lovely piece. You absolutely deserved your award. You'll hve to get out the old gum boots, it sounds. Sorry or the delay in congratulating you - am trying to sell my house. With a big smile Sheryn :-)
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Congratulations on your placing in the ode comp. Well done. It was a lovely piece. You absolutely deserved your award. You'll hve to get out the old gum boots, it sounds. Sorry or the delay in congratulating you - am trying to sell my house. With a big smile Sheryn :-)
Comment Written 05-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thanks again!
Second place - let's hope to go one better with Juliet!
Steve
Comment from ElegantButler
How funny our view of the rain. We praise it for its life-giving properties, but at the same time we wish it would only fall at the times when it would be convenient for us. We would find it a perfect world if it were sunny during the day when she left the house to go to the movies, and then poured while we were in the theater only to clear up as the closing credits began to roll.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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How funny our view of the rain. We praise it for its life-giving properties, but at the same time we wish it would only fall at the times when it would be convenient for us. We would find it a perfect world if it were sunny during the day when she left the house to go to the movies, and then poured while we were in the theater only to clear up as the closing credits began to roll.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thanks - yes it was a little ironic to be praising rain when I was really cursing the weather.
Steve
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh that rain! We had so much of it in the spring that we had terrible flooding. We must have used all our moisture up because we could use some rain now. I can feel your appreciation of rain providing moisture for all living things to grow and flourish. Some big words made me go, "wow!". Gaea's, plenitude, burgeons, panoply, asphodel, mitigate, battalions, invigorate, elixir. Some words I need to look up but I love learning new words and I also love when people use expressionate words. I loved reading your ode. Congratulations on placing second in this contest! You have shown me a fine example of an ode so maybe I can write one that is half decent :)
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Oh that rain! We had so much of it in the spring that we had terrible flooding. We must have used all our moisture up because we could use some rain now. I can feel your appreciation of rain providing moisture for all living things to grow and flourish. Some big words made me go, "wow!". Gaea's, plenitude, burgeons, panoply, asphodel, mitigate, battalions, invigorate, elixir. Some words I need to look up but I love learning new words and I also love when people use expressionate words. I loved reading your ode. Congratulations on placing second in this contest! You have shown me a fine example of an ode so maybe I can write one that is half decent :)
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Joy, thanks for the kind words.
Wouldn't it be great if we could get the balance of rain and sunshine just right?!
Steve
Comment from poetbear
Love it.
Every word and line.
Great image and imagery.
A delight to read and eeview.
It has soul and spirit.
Reads and flows well.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Love it.
Every word and line.
Great image and imagery.
A delight to read and eeview.
It has soul and spirit.
Reads and flows well.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of abab rhyming
nice alliteration in the opening line
excellent use of enjambment throughout
burgeon, nourish, sustain...fantastic verb choices to add life to your scene
good alliteration in Sol in summer
and in wild winter wields
great ode-like tone :-)
I am laughing at your author notes - yes, we have had way more than our fair share of rain, too :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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excellent use of abab rhyming
nice alliteration in the opening line
excellent use of enjambment throughout
burgeon, nourish, sustain...fantastic verb choices to add life to your scene
good alliteration in Sol in summer
and in wild winter wields
great ode-like tone :-)
I am laughing at your author notes - yes, we have had way more than our fair share of rain, too :-) Brooke
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Brooke
Didn't really enjoy writing this piece - I felt the serious tone was not for me - I kept wanting to insert something really silly...
Having said that, it would have been nice to go one step better than second place!
Steve
Comment from Hollyhock
Fantastic ode, elevated language, lofty images, ten-lines stanzas of faultless iambic pentameters - well done.
Technicalities apart this is a beautiful poem full of lush images describing the healing and nurturing effects of rain.
I loved your "panoply of flowers...." (Should there be another comma after foxglove?)
The whole of the first stanza was about nurturing and gentle growth while there is a wonderful change in tone in stanza two. Here we have the "battalions" enabling "invigoration" so that harvest days may be seen in "Autumn strides", leading on the "wild winter" where still the rain provides the necessary elixir for man.
This poem just rolls off the tongue, absolutely delightful.
Good luck in the contest, win or not this is a superb piece of writing.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Fantastic ode, elevated language, lofty images, ten-lines stanzas of faultless iambic pentameters - well done.
Technicalities apart this is a beautiful poem full of lush images describing the healing and nurturing effects of rain.
I loved your "panoply of flowers...." (Should there be another comma after foxglove?)
The whole of the first stanza was about nurturing and gentle growth while there is a wonderful change in tone in stanza two. Here we have the "battalions" enabling "invigoration" so that harvest days may be seen in "Autumn strides", leading on the "wild winter" where still the rain provides the necessary elixir for man.
This poem just rolls off the tongue, absolutely delightful.
Good luck in the contest, win or not this is a superb piece of writing.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Andrea. Bridesmaid again, alas!
I had intended to write more but deadline was approaching and I had to really force myself to get this much 'serious' stuff done.
Steve
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You wuz robbed! Sometimes I just don't know what the judges are looking for. A.
Comment from Sally Carter
Wow Steve, this is magnificent. I am totally bowled over by your versatility - one day a funny poem about goats, another day this classic gem. Really beautiful, sir.
Splendid vocabulary, impeccable meter, lush imagery. Really I can't pick out itty bits to praise.
My one tiny suggestion for a comma, which could never justify rating lower than a 6, is to add one after "foxglove", if my understanding is right that an asphodel is a different kind of flower?
However do you find time to write like this in the midst of all your activity?
Fantastic.
Sally
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Wow Steve, this is magnificent. I am totally bowled over by your versatility - one day a funny poem about goats, another day this classic gem. Really beautiful, sir.
Splendid vocabulary, impeccable meter, lush imagery. Really I can't pick out itty bits to praise.
My one tiny suggestion for a comma, which could never justify rating lower than a 6, is to add one after "foxglove", if my understanding is right that an asphodel is a different kind of flower?
However do you find time to write like this in the midst of all your activity?
Fantastic.
Sally
Comment Written 29-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Sally.
The hardest part was persuading myself that it was any good - How artificial it felt to write like this - are you sure it's not just a load of guff?!
Steve
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Well I'm sure some would say it's a load of guff, but they would probably say all the classic poets are a load of guff as well. I confess that would not be my own preferred style of poetry to read, but that's not what we're supposed to comment on. One of the joys of FS is that it gets me reading the kind of poetry I would probably not otherwise pick up. You rose to the nature of the challenge, and you executed it superbly IMHO. If it felt artificial, that never came across in the poem, and now you've shown yourself you can do it, you need never write another!
Relax and enjoy...
Comment from Dean Kuch
Okay, Steve, okay! Enough with the rain dance, my friend. Our squirrels are calling 911, and the insects have all set sail for greener pastures...
Seriously, your mastery of the English language is quite impressive. I must admit, I had to go to my dictionary several times during the reading of this little gem. This is a fascinating ode to the life-giving forces of rain, and to the awesome powers of nature as a whole.
Outstanding, my friend!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Okay, Steve, okay! Enough with the rain dance, my friend. Our squirrels are calling 911, and the insects have all set sail for greener pastures...
Seriously, your mastery of the English language is quite impressive. I must admit, I had to go to my dictionary several times during the reading of this little gem. This is a fascinating ode to the life-giving forces of rain, and to the awesome powers of nature as a whole.
Outstanding, my friend!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Dean, thanks for the kind words.
yes, it's a little ironic to be doing that kind of rain dance when really I just wish it would give us a break....
Sorry about the extra wear and tear on your dictionary - ode to me equals lofty and serious (read BIG words) and these ones were just skulking around in there and hey, you're never going to get to use 'panoply' in any ordinary conversation....
Steve
PS Congrats on your POM win
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:)
My pleasure, Steve...
Comment from barkingdog
When I saw the 'Send 'er down, Hugie', I had to read and see who was asking for rain. We have had quite enough here. 'Waterworld approaches.' Even the ants are learning to use oars.
You're poem is lovely, steveh. Now, cut it out! Our burst buds have drowned and we are invigorated to exhaustion.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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When I saw the 'Send 'er down, Hugie', I had to read and see who was asking for rain. We have had quite enough here. 'Waterworld approaches.' Even the ants are learning to use oars.
You're poem is lovely, steveh. Now, cut it out! Our burst buds have drowned and we are invigorated to exhaustion.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Thanks, bd
I know what you mean about waterworld, but at least we have the excuse that it is winter!
Steve
