Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Thawichasa Moon"Murder Mystery
42 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
What a great chapter! Mystery, crime, and great characters, what else is needed? Your descriptions are just awesome. Definitely kept my interest. Well written. Thanks for sharing. Les
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
  |
What a great chapter! Mystery, crime, and great characters, what else is needed? Your descriptions are just awesome. Definitely kept my interest. Well written. Thanks for sharing. Les
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
-
Hi, Les. Thank you so ncch for this gracious review! I'm very inspired by your kind insights. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
He zipped up his jacket against a bone-deep cold and headed for his own car. (This is an example of the great descriptions you used in this post. You did a good job.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
 |
He zipped up his jacket against a bone-deep cold and headed for his own car. (This is an example of the great descriptions you used in this post. You did a good job.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
-
Thank you so much, barbara. I appreciate such a generous rating from one of the site's most talented writers. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Awesome chapter, Bev. I loved this bit of deviation to the doctor. It opens the way for Jana's own supernatural feelings about the case. Nice inter-action between Jana and Dred. Loved the introduction of a possible love affair. Well written. I enjoyed. luv jada
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
|
Awesome chapter, Bev. I loved this bit of deviation to the doctor. It opens the way for Jana's own supernatural feelings about the case. Nice inter-action between Jana and Dred. Loved the introduction of a possible love affair. Well written. I enjoyed. luv jada
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
-
Jada, thank you so much for your very generous and encouraging review. I really appreciate your hanging in there with me in this story. Jana may be a character I'll want to do more with on another project, so I'm trying to set up a good background for future writes.
Always apprecicate your insights, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Auroraboreal800
I like this mystery and crime fiction. The dialogue flows smoothly between the characters. A fine piece of writing that made me feel as if I was sitting in the booth right behind them.
GREAT job friend!
:)
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
|
I like this mystery and crime fiction. The dialogue flows smoothly between the characters. A fine piece of writing that made me feel as if I was sitting in the booth right behind them.
GREAT job friend!
:)
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
-
Thank you very much, Auroraboreal. I'm very happy you enjoyed the chapter and appreciate your grand review. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Yeflargetharb
First of all, I have to tip my hat to you for providing a brief summary of what had happened in previous chapters. It makes starting from the 44th chapter a lot less confusing.
The pacing's right, and there's a trail of intrigue for readers to follow. Good job.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
|
First of all, I have to tip my hat to you for providing a brief summary of what had happened in previous chapters. It makes starting from the 44th chapter a lot less confusing.
The pacing's right, and there's a trail of intrigue for readers to follow. Good job.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
-
Thank you so much for your gracious review, Y. I much appreciate it. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Nichola
I Like what you have written. It definitely keeps one's interest and wanting to read more of your book. I like the way you have incorporated native American and supernatural talents in the detective story. This makes it more unusual and stands out. A good read.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
|
I Like what you have written. It definitely keeps one's interest and wanting to read more of your book. I like the way you have incorporated native American and supernatural talents in the detective story. This makes it more unusual and stands out. A good read.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
-
Hi, Nichola. Thank you for taking time to read my chapter. I appreciate your encouraging and gracious review. :0) Bev
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer does a good job of grabbing the readers attention from the start. The writer transitions the events well as this chapter has good balance. The writer creates an atmosphere just right to keep the reader hooked. I think the writer does a nice job with this chapter. Nice work.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
|
The writer does a good job of grabbing the readers attention from the start. The writer transitions the events well as this chapter has good balance. The writer creates an atmosphere just right to keep the reader hooked. I think the writer does a nice job with this chapter. Nice work.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
-
Thanks you, RR, for taking time to read and review my chapter. Your encouragement is much appreciated! :0) Bev
Comment from Isabella Thorne
This is well written and leaves me wondering what comes next. I love the artwork and think it adds to the feeling of the story. I think it will add a lot to your character developement of the chinese doctor if you were to add some dialect to the dialogue.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
|
This is well written and leaves me wondering what comes next. I love the artwork and think it adds to the feeling of the story. I think it will add a lot to your character developement of the chinese doctor if you were to add some dialect to the dialogue.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
-
Hi, Isabella. Thank you for taking time to read and review my chapter. I appreciate your support and suggestions.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Writingfundimension,
I think I've missed a few chapters of this, but that said this picked up well from where I last read the story and I see the paranormal is developing a character of its own as well.
Good chapter, it certainly introduces the threat and horror and the touch of romance as well. The 'vision' Dred has just has is a great hook to lift the reader into the next chapter as well.
Patrick
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
|
Hi Writingfundimension,
I think I've missed a few chapters of this, but that said this picked up well from where I last read the story and I see the paranormal is developing a character of its own as well.
Good chapter, it certainly introduces the threat and horror and the touch of romance as well. The 'vision' Dred has just has is a great hook to lift the reader into the next chapter as well.
Patrick
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
-
Hi, Patrick. You've been on my mind lately - wondering if you were busy getting your book/books published. Great to hear from you and in such a gracious and generous manner. I hope this portends a new post from you?! Warmest regards, Bev
-
Watch this space, I'm slowly starting to settle down to writing again after being under pressure in other directions. A new Harry Heron is in preparation and the last one will be published early next year.
Patrick
-
That sounds great, Patrick. I'll receive notification when you post. Good luck!
Bev
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is very well-written. I like the sense of action, the characters' names, and the dialogue, although I am wondering if the line
There's a dimension to it needs to be addressed."
needs 'that' inserted before needs
and also
But I observed first-hand a remarkable old lady from North Carolina whose visions all but single-handedly led us to a serial rapist who'd gone undetected for years."
seems a little long and formal, maybe shorten it into sentencs like this:
But you know what? I observed first-hand a remarkable old lady from North Carolina who was remarkable. Her visions all but single-handedly led us to a serial rapist who'd gone undetected for years."
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
|
This is very well-written. I like the sense of action, the characters' names, and the dialogue, although I am wondering if the line
There's a dimension to it needs to be addressed."
needs 'that' inserted before needs
and also
But I observed first-hand a remarkable old lady from North Carolina whose visions all but single-handedly led us to a serial rapist who'd gone undetected for years."
seems a little long and formal, maybe shorten it into sentencs like this:
But you know what? I observed first-hand a remarkable old lady from North Carolina who was remarkable. Her visions all but single-handedly led us to a serial rapist who'd gone undetected for years."
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
-
Hi, Crystie. Thank you for your suggestions. I really appreciate the time you took to read and review so generously.
Warmest regards,
Bev
