Comment from 9999pool

Excellent

A great write in this Reverse 24 poem which I might try. If Tom can, Ritchie's gonna do it too - if only i have the time! LOL. But i might just try it.
The story of an old western town movie made for Hollywood, perhaps?
The western flavor of yesteryears are definitely there when cowboys and Indians thrived.
Good write in a Reverse 24 poem.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013

Thanks Ritchie. For sure, give one a try, I know you have the talent to do it.

reply by 9999pool on 26-Jun-2013

Will do. Once I untie myself from the Fanstorian saga and i must be in the Middle Ages in my reviews, LOL.
Cheerio, Ritchie.

Comment from Stephen Wolff

Good

I'm not a fan of these rule-based poems where one chooses to impose rules rarely have anything to do with the content. Poetic structure seems to me to be about providing a framework appropriate to what is being communicated. I think this would be better with centred lines. I also think the the reverse alphabet thing has caused you to hunt for words that fit the scheme rather than accurately convey meaning:

"Causing bullet

Absolution."

These words whilst expressing some sort of meaning also have a certain randomness about them.



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 Comment Written 26-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013

Thank you Steve. I struggled with centering versus staggering this myself. After wrestling with FS editing and unsuccessfully achieving the format I specifically wanted, I did regret myself not just centering it. That's way on my next one, Code Words, is just did it.
I disagree with you on Bullet line comment. It was far from random, and has deep levels of meaning. But yes, the format does necessarily force you to become creative, but that is the challenge. Isn't it?

Comment from ronnie k

Excellent

Thank you, found it needed a few reads but each got better and better, I am a cowboy fan loved the mystery of the oldest

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013

Thanks Ronnie. Glad you persevered.

Comment from CR Delport

Excellent

When I was a little girl I loved to read, but the only things in the house to read was my dad's westerns. I loved them. To this day I still love the work of JT Edson.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013

Thank you CR. Westerns were a big part of my childhood too.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

How on earth did you manage to torture that virtual pen (and head) of yours to create this nice little piece that creates such ambiance? - aided by a most appropriate picture!


Love the final word-line. It's loaded - no pun!

Well done - I wouldn't dare to try! :)

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013

Thank you Sonali. You start with the first thoughts, then see where the words and a dictionary take you. Simple! ;-}

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treschel,
Gunfight is an excellent technically correct poem that foilows the reverse24 form perfectly as far as I can see but it just does not seem to flow for me. Perhaps its just that the words have different feeling for me than the definitions do. Maybe the form controls the poem to much.
Preston

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013

Thanks Preston. maybe it's that this is so unenlightened activity.

Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

Hi Tom,

I am a huge fan of westerns. So this is a treat, sad the contest was full because you penned this one really great.

The staggered word play I found captivation...as if time was held just before the shoot out. Sort of like they show us in the movies. A few seconds of tense awareness and then the shot.
I enjoyed this one my friend. Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013

Thank you Maureen, glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

The reverse 24 form has to be one of the most bizarre forms I've ever seen, but you follow the form well :-)
I like the concept of ego duels :-)
Great pairing of artwork and poem, which examines the time of settling disputes with gunfights well
Brooke

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013

Thank you Brooke. I am an old John Wayne fan.

reply by adewpearl on 23-Jun-2013

Stage Coach, what a super movie :-)

Comment from Robin Gilmor

Excellent

Unique in form and well done. Love the theme.

Ego duels
Causing bullet
Absolution

So true. The main cause of many fights today. Great picture adds extra visual
assault and umph! Smiles, Robin :)

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2013

Thanks Robin. Yup, things haven't changed a lot.

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This is what I call a bullet poem lol just one word poems very powerful I think I like the picture as well and like a bullet each word finds its mark thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2013

Thank you DMT. A bullet following a reverse alphabetical path.