conscious trade of love
the thought of a poor man with very low self esteem2 total reviews
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Your syllables are correct for this 5-7-5. Liked the truth/message in this one.
Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
"thought his life empty 5
for he had no taste of love 7
to give another" 5
reply by the author on 18-May-2013
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Your syllables are correct for this 5-7-5. Liked the truth/message in this one.
Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
"thought his life empty 5
for he had no taste of love 7
to give another" 5
Comment Written 16-May-2013
reply by the author on 18-May-2013
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thanks I really appreciate
Comment from Miss Very Cherry
Very deep, it kind of makes you feel the loneliness and angst the subject is feeling. I feel it needs a comma after the first line, the second two lines seem like one sentence and completes the thought of the first line. Let me know what you think, other than that its really well done.
reply by the author on 18-May-2013
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Very deep, it kind of makes you feel the loneliness and angst the subject is feeling. I feel it needs a comma after the first line, the second two lines seem like one sentence and completes the thought of the first line. Let me know what you think, other than that its really well done.
Comment Written 16-May-2013
reply by the author on 18-May-2013
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thanks for the comma advice, I think I need to work on my punctuation
