Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Utahu Moon"Murder Mystery
46 total reviews
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Bev.
This chapter is excellent. I like how you brought in the spirit inside the house and Tony's reaction. The visuals used are so well done. You shared the beauty of the land, the thick woods, and Mullet lake in the distance. I really like how you've described Tony's respect for nature, and his thanks offered as he takes the mushrooms, Hen of the Woods. You last sentence really sent chills, the body hanging in the exact spot as Billy.
Your story is so well done. Each chapter is like its own story that's blended together into one book.
Sorry I have used up all my sixes. This is well worth that and more!
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2014
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Hi, Bev.
This chapter is excellent. I like how you brought in the spirit inside the house and Tony's reaction. The visuals used are so well done. You shared the beauty of the land, the thick woods, and Mullet lake in the distance. I really like how you've described Tony's respect for nature, and his thanks offered as he takes the mushrooms, Hen of the Woods. You last sentence really sent chills, the body hanging in the exact spot as Billy.
Your story is so well done. Each chapter is like its own story that's blended together into one book.
Sorry I have used up all my sixes. This is well worth that and more!
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2014
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Rosalyne, I'm just thrilled to death you enjoyed the story. Thanks so much for mentioning all the elements you felt worked in this chapter. That's especially helpful going forward. A five is wonderfully generous, and I much appreciate it. Hugs, Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Now you had my teeth rattling with the goings on in the house. Even Tony wasn't sure what he was dealing with. But they are used to spirits and magic it seems so he decided to face whatever was causing trouble. I liked the adventure into the forest but found the discovery of the corpse quite chilling. Slowly the killer is hanging himself. They now have to find someone who knows these necks of the woods. Lol. Well written. Luv jada
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Now you had my teeth rattling with the goings on in the house. Even Tony wasn't sure what he was dealing with. But they are used to spirits and magic it seems so he decided to face whatever was causing trouble. I liked the adventure into the forest but found the discovery of the corpse quite chilling. Slowly the killer is hanging himself. They now have to find someone who knows these necks of the woods. Lol. Well written. Luv jada
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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The Native Americans are certainly more open to the natural world we Westerners block. Thanks for taking time to read and giving me such a generous and gracious review, Jada. I really appreciate it very much. Hugs, Bev
Comment from kashmayank
I havent read all the chapters so wont comment much but this looks like a nice work to follow a good flow and had a good pace was there all the best liked it
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2013
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I havent read all the chapters so wont comment much but this looks like a nice work to follow a good flow and had a good pace was there all the best liked it
Comment Written 08-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2013
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Thank you so much for taking time read and review. I apprecite your genesoity. Bev
Comment from chasennov
'Utah Moon.' This story is written very well and I enjoyed reading it so much. The lines flowed well and read as smooth as glass. Could not fault anything. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2013
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'Utah Moon.' This story is written very well and I enjoyed reading it so much. The lines flowed well and read as smooth as glass. Could not fault anything. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2013
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Thanks so much for taking line to read and review so generously, C. I really appreciate it. Warm regards, Bev
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You're very welcome, Bev.
Comment from Mark Brucato
Wasu draped his head across Tony's knee. The Medicine Man raked his fingers through the coon dog's dense fur, eliciting a low rumble of pleasure. Eyebrows bobbing, Wasu rolled the whites of his eyes in a silent plea for table scraps.
Enjoyed the read a lot. Greg work
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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Wasu draped his head across Tony's knee. The Medicine Man raked his fingers through the coon dog's dense fur, eliciting a low rumble of pleasure. Eyebrows bobbing, Wasu rolled the whites of his eyes in a silent plea for table scraps.
Enjoyed the read a lot. Greg work
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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Hi, Mark. Thank you for highlighting one of my favorite sections. I really appreciate the generous review! Bev
Comment from TonyD
There is mystery wrapped in mystery in this story. It is so intriguing that I must read on. Actually I was sorry this episode ended so soon.
Tony
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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There is mystery wrapped in mystery in this story. It is so intriguing that I must read on. Actually I was sorry this episode ended so soon.
Tony
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
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Hi, Tony. Thank you so much for taking time to read my chapter. I really appreciate the encouragement and support! Bev
Comment from Gungalo
Hi Bev it's been a while but I have been keeping up. The old man was very unlucky to have found the body but he was apparently warned judging from what went on in his house.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Hi Bev it's been a while but I have been keeping up. The old man was very unlucky to have found the body but he was apparently warned judging from what went on in his house.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Thanks so much, G. I appreciate you taking time to read and review. Warm regards, Bev
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Smile Bev.
Comment from DALLAS01
I liked the transitions back and forth from the upsetting event in the house; to the easing of of tension brought about while the picking of the mushrooms, then back again to the tension and suspense of finding the body.
One sentence stuck out that could be just tweaked a bit:
Picking out a crooked slice of bacon off his plate, Tony held it above the dog's nose.
How about: He picked a crooked slice of bacon off his plate and held it above the dogs nose.
Just seems a little tighter.
You make the reader feel as if they are part of the scenarios.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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I liked the transitions back and forth from the upsetting event in the house; to the easing of of tension brought about while the picking of the mushrooms, then back again to the tension and suspense of finding the body.
One sentence stuck out that could be just tweaked a bit:
Picking out a crooked slice of bacon off his plate, Tony held it above the dog's nose.
How about: He picked a crooked slice of bacon off his plate and held it above the dogs nose.
Just seems a little tighter.
You make the reader feel as if they are part of the scenarios.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Dallas, thanks so much for this wonderful review. I think your suggestion is a good one, so thanks for that too! Warmest regards, Bev
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You're welcome. Have agood day.
Comment from Neil A Morrow
This is a very clever wrought piece of writing that I personally could find no fault with whatsoever. Your stle of writing is fantastic in the way it draws the reader into the scene of your creation. You are a true painter of words.
Neil
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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This is a very clever wrought piece of writing that I personally could find no fault with whatsoever. Your stle of writing is fantastic in the way it draws the reader into the scene of your creation. You are a true painter of words.
Neil
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Thank you so very much, Neil. I am deeply honored by your kind words of encouragement and generous review. Much appreciated!Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
I was hoping I could give you six stars! It seems like it's always telling me no, contrary bugger.
I tell you in all sincerity, I have no business being able to write on the same site as you, Margaret Snowdon, and Edward Baldwin, among others. You three, and in this case, I'll keep it to you, write stories so full of rich detail, captivating storylines, interesting characters, facts to be learned about times, cultures and subjects we may know little about.
I normally wouldn't be drawn to the subject matter you write about, but your writing is that good.
I very much enjoyed going along with Tony and his dog through this chapter. The small details surrounding Wasu enjoying his bacon set you apart. Animal lovers can SEE puppy savoring those licks of greasy yumminess.
The ending piece about dreading telling Agnes where the corpse was found, very stirring.
A friend's son committed suicide in the woods years and years ago. Her reminiscence of it matched the poignancy of your words. Mothers never get over horrors like that and Agnes is in for a fresh heap of hurt.
Really brilliant writing Bev.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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I was hoping I could give you six stars! It seems like it's always telling me no, contrary bugger.
I tell you in all sincerity, I have no business being able to write on the same site as you, Margaret Snowdon, and Edward Baldwin, among others. You three, and in this case, I'll keep it to you, write stories so full of rich detail, captivating storylines, interesting characters, facts to be learned about times, cultures and subjects we may know little about.
I normally wouldn't be drawn to the subject matter you write about, but your writing is that good.
I very much enjoyed going along with Tony and his dog through this chapter. The small details surrounding Wasu enjoying his bacon set you apart. Animal lovers can SEE puppy savoring those licks of greasy yumminess.
The ending piece about dreading telling Agnes where the corpse was found, very stirring.
A friend's son committed suicide in the woods years and years ago. Her reminiscence of it matched the poignancy of your words. Mothers never get over horrors like that and Agnes is in for a fresh heap of hurt.
Really brilliant writing Bev.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Sue, thank you so very much. I feel deeply honored by your words, my friend. Your generosity and support are absolutely priceless. Hugs, Bev
