Reviews from

Waiting for A Bus

You never know what can happen while waiting for a bus

5 total reviews 
Comment from Val Crisson
Excellent
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Nice one, Jo. It's not easy to a 55 word story. You pulled this off nicely. It is a believable and very romanic story. This is really a fun contest.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
    Thanks Val I'm glad you liked my short story. I just had to see if I could do it. And yes, it was hard. :o)
Comment from Flamingbush
Excellent
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Wow! So short and sweet, and I totally loved reading it. The descriptions were crisp and clear - a "bandy rooster; who'd have guessed we'd elope?" - marvelous. The picture you chose to go with this is simply perfect.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
    I'm glad you liked my short story. It was rather difficult to cut it to 55 words.
reply by Flamingbush on 28-Jan-2013
    Well, you did a great job.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Excellent
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Who would ever think that was possible? Well, everything is possible because there is time and tide as factors ruling the universe. Happy that you are happy with your elopement experience today. Good work.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
    Thank you Ola for your kind review. It was actually my mom and dad. They eloped on VJday Sept. 7th, 1945. My dad has passed on. It would be 68 years now.
Comment from Stephen Wolff
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A nice little story which sounds like a letter to a local newspaper. I think of roosters as tall at least in relation to the female of their species so I find a contradiction in the first or second lines though that's maybe just my perception. I'm not sure the repetition of 50 is good or necessary.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
    Thank you Stephen for your review and comments. You are right in regards to roosters. The reference is to bantam roosters...they are small little cocky roosters with a lot of personality. I have to go back and correct my typo. I think you may be right about repeating the 50...I thought it might be too much, too. The contest requires exactly 55 words so I would have to replace it somewhere in the text to make it fit.
reply by Stephen Wolff on 29-Jan-2013
    I stand corrected on the bantam rooster reference and I'm glad you found the rest of my comments useful.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
    No problem. :o) I did go back and change the 50 and it did sound and look better. Thanks for the suggestion.
Comment from Scribbler67
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What a lovely happy little story, nicely told within the restrictions of the word count. My late husband used to use a similar phrase for short, dark men. He called them 'banty cocks', banty short for 'bantam'.
Reading this brought back memories for me too. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
    Thank you Scribbler for making me aware of my typo. It is supposed to be banty (short for bantam). I'll correct it. My daddy always called them banty roosters. The story is about my mom and dad. He was only 5 ft. tall and my mom 5ft.4inches but he stood real TALL and was feisty like the little roosters. :O)