Second Chance
The legend of the Seal People. (Selchie)19 total reviews
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Amazing story. Passionate, in praise of life, tragic, yet bittersweet.
This may be based in legend, but you gave it new life.
Wonderful read, teary ending for me.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2012
  |
Amazing story. Passionate, in praise of life, tragic, yet bittersweet.
This may be based in legend, but you gave it new life.
Wonderful read, teary ending for me.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2012
-
Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed. I am working on the second story about the Selchie because so many wanted more! Blessings, Kace.
Comment from Georgia333
A great read,full of enchantment and imagination.my only criticism was that it needed to Be longer to explore the lives of the seals, and their world further and continue with the theme of enchantment, another connection to humans.niece piece regards Eileen
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
 |
A great read,full of enchantment and imagination.my only criticism was that it needed to Be longer to explore the lives of the seals, and their world further and continue with the theme of enchantment, another connection to humans.niece piece regards Eileen
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
-
Thank you Eileen. Glad you enjoyed the story. I thought that it was long enough for a short story - could have delved into the fantasy world of the Selchie - you can search myths and legends on line. Blessings, Kace.
Comment from jlsavell
Girl, girl, you never ever cease to amaze me. I love the legend of the selkies. I first learned of them whgen I read The Nature of Water and Air, by Regina McBride.
Yours is a beautfiul and emotional story, that tugs at the heartstrings. Tender in its moments and clear in its delicate simplicity.
Excellent character and story development, Original and catching.
If I had one critique, it would that I would have liked this to be developed more into chaopters and a short story novel started.
The shortness of the story, did not allow you to develop fully all the great characters, escpecially Englad and Jamie, and the conflict of emotions. Please consider this to write as a short sotry novel. You are a fabulous writer that I could only hope to emulate!
loved it without a doubt. Oh, and of all things, you card arrived today! It certainly made my day sweet Kace, thank you!!!!! Your personal note was the perfect touch for a sweet funny encouraging card!! thank you so much my friend!.. jimi
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
|
Girl, girl, you never ever cease to amaze me. I love the legend of the selkies. I first learned of them whgen I read The Nature of Water and Air, by Regina McBride.
Yours is a beautfiul and emotional story, that tugs at the heartstrings. Tender in its moments and clear in its delicate simplicity.
Excellent character and story development, Original and catching.
If I had one critique, it would that I would have liked this to be developed more into chaopters and a short story novel started.
The shortness of the story, did not allow you to develop fully all the great characters, escpecially Englad and Jamie, and the conflict of emotions. Please consider this to write as a short sotry novel. You are a fabulous writer that I could only hope to emulate!
loved it without a doubt. Oh, and of all things, you card arrived today! It certainly made my day sweet Kace, thank you!!!!! Your personal note was the perfect touch for a sweet funny encouraging card!! thank you so much my friend!.. jimi
Comment Written 26-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
-
Jimney Cricket! Thanks so much for your in-depth review on my story. I enjoyed writing it (took me three weeks because of my physical disabilities) I understand where you are coming from with a short story novel - I just don't have the money to keep promoting it! I am so pleased that you got your card and hope that you had a happy day. Blessings and love from Kace XX
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Wow what a wonderful enchanted story. I couldn't put the story down. I read it with bated breath and wonder of how this would turn out at the end. I loved the ending. A great write with imagery. Mary
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
|
Wow what a wonderful enchanted story. I couldn't put the story down. I read it with bated breath and wonder of how this would turn out at the end. I loved the ending. A great write with imagery. Mary
Comment Written 26-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
-
Hello Mary, Thank you so very much for your kind review, so glad that you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from wordsfromsue
What an enchanting tale this is! Magical and filled with enough love and hope to bring joy to your readers.
Although it seems the real Declan didn't fare so well!
Well written.Satisfying ending. :-)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
|
What an enchanting tale this is! Magical and filled with enough love and hope to bring joy to your readers.
Although it seems the real Declan didn't fare so well!
Well written.Satisfying ending. :-)
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
-
Thank you wordsfromsue - so pleased you enjoyed the story and thanks for reviewing. Blessings, Kace.
Comment from Eleanor Buron
Incredible story written beautifully from beginning to end. I think the details are vivid, the setting (s)described well and the characters remarkably real. I just love the idea of seal people! Thank you for the author notes, too! Worth more than six but that's all they will allow! ;)
One typo just a few lines into the story: "Declan were" change were to was unless it's regional dialect.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
|
Incredible story written beautifully from beginning to end. I think the details are vivid, the setting (s)described well and the characters remarkably real. I just love the idea of seal people! Thank you for the author notes, too! Worth more than six but that's all they will allow! ;)
One typo just a few lines into the story: "Declan were" change were to was unless it's regional dialect.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2012
-
Hello Elly, Thanks so much for reading and yes, 'were' is regional dialect. So pleased that you enjoyed the story, tis my first attempt at fiction. Blessings, Kace.
-
If this is your first attempt, you could have fooled me. I think you just discovered another area where your talent will shine!
Blessings, Elly
Comment from guinea
This is a well written fasinating story. I could picture every scene as I read your words. I recommend this story to others to read. Loved it.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
|
This is a well written fasinating story. I could picture every scene as I read your words. I recommend this story to others to read. Loved it.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
-
guinea, Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed my story. Blessings, K.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
What a sweet tale combining the healing story of a mourning family and the love of a legendary selche. Well written with good pacing and excellent plot twists. :) nancy
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
|
What a sweet tale combining the healing story of a mourning family and the love of a legendary selche. Well written with good pacing and excellent plot twists. :) nancy
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
-
Nancy, Thanks so much for reading, glad you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from cabinwriter
This is a fine story based on an old Irish legend. You done a good job telling the story. The dialogue is natural, yet for an accent not overdone. The action is easy to follow a plot that is laid out from start to finish with increasing suspense.
The one thing that is lacking is the emotional component. This story is one of heartbreaking sorrow and joyous happiness. Try to get inside your character's minds and show us what they are feeling. Showing is important. Don't tell us they are sad, show us with action/behaviors, postures can you use to help show this. If you go with internal dialogue/thoughts, what metaphors and similes, carefully selected adjective and words, can you write to show this important part of your story, rather than tell it.
One way you might also achieve this is through the eyes of one character. 1st person Point of View can be very powerful emotionally. Your father or the son would offer very different views, but either would be compelling.
Enjoyed it very much. I hope you'll revise and repost!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
 |
This is a fine story based on an old Irish legend. You done a good job telling the story. The dialogue is natural, yet for an accent not overdone. The action is easy to follow a plot that is laid out from start to finish with increasing suspense.
The one thing that is lacking is the emotional component. This story is one of heartbreaking sorrow and joyous happiness. Try to get inside your character's minds and show us what they are feeling. Showing is important. Don't tell us they are sad, show us with action/behaviors, postures can you use to help show this. If you go with internal dialogue/thoughts, what metaphors and similes, carefully selected adjective and words, can you write to show this important part of your story, rather than tell it.
One way you might also achieve this is through the eyes of one character. 1st person Point of View can be very powerful emotionally. Your father or the son would offer very different views, but either would be compelling.
Enjoyed it very much. I hope you'll revise and repost!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
-
Thank you for reading. Blessings, K.
Comment from artemis53
This is such a tremendous story/legend. You had me at "A strong sea breeze blew relentlessly across Dublin cemetery." I assume it's been handed down by word of mouth since so-called "free thinkers" would've destroyed it in the name of progress. It is truly a beautiful writing, Kace with richness and fantasy in which I'm still a believer. I will never look at the name "Fey" again in the same way. BTW. What is "Selchie" derived from and does it stand on its own?
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
|
This is such a tremendous story/legend. You had me at "A strong sea breeze blew relentlessly across Dublin cemetery." I assume it's been handed down by word of mouth since so-called "free thinkers" would've destroyed it in the name of progress. It is truly a beautiful writing, Kace with richness and fantasy in which I'm still a believer. I will never look at the name "Fey" again in the same way. BTW. What is "Selchie" derived from and does it stand on its own?
Comment Written 23-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
-
G'day my friend, So glad that you enjoyed, I knew you would. The word 'Selchie' is Celtic for seal! Blessings and love, Kace.
