The Illuminating Gaze
Semi-free style, about love's loss.12 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
strong use of rhyming couplets
good alliteration in phrases like cottony carpet and spectral city
mute's nature's proximity - add apostrophe for possessive
vivid, mood-creating descriptive detail
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
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strong use of rhyming couplets
good alliteration in phrases like cottony carpet and spectral city
mute's nature's proximity - add apostrophe for possessive
vivid, mood-creating descriptive detail
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 17-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
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It's a rare and strange feeling to be walking though the woods and have it feel like you're in the city at night. I enjoyed the review and thank you for it, the correction and the compliments. Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Mike,
I am glad you told me you posted this moon poem as I didn't receive a PM telling me you did. I don't know why that happens and I hate it when it does. You have written a stellar poem with a strong rhyme scheme and superb descriptive words. I sense some melancholy inside the lines and no doubt there are some between the lines you didn't pen. so sorry I don't have a six for you. Well done...chey
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2012
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Hi Mike,
I am glad you told me you posted this moon poem as I didn't receive a PM telling me you did. I don't know why that happens and I hate it when it does. You have written a stellar poem with a strong rhyme scheme and superb descriptive words. I sense some melancholy inside the lines and no doubt there are some between the lines you didn't pen. so sorry I don't have a six for you. Well done...chey
Comment Written 16-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2012
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And I thought you didn't like me anymore! LOL From time to time I had those problems, but it is nothing like the gremlins found on Facebook after I was forced into a new visual graphic display called Time line. I refer it to Time discrepancy Line.
Even if you didn't tell me you would have loved to give me a six, I would have considered this a six star review. I wanted to paint the picture of living in melancholy and regret without saying it, yet having the full experience come though with it lifting and realizing all things can be reconciled to a much more positive view. This review also lets me know that it was right to hold off on posting this poem until I had the imagery and feel truly working with each other. As strange and mysterious as this poem is, that is exactly how it happened, and I am glad I was able to communicate such a profound event.
A wonderful review with flattering and substantial compliments. Thank you, Mike.
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You are so welcome!
Comment from IndianaIrish
What a night and vision that must have been, Mike. You describe it so well and make me wish I had seen it, too.
There spat of harsh carelessness--I think it should be their.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2012
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What a night and vision that must have been, Mike. You describe it so well and make me wish I had seen it, too.
There spat of harsh carelessness--I think it should be their.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment Written 15-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2012
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I changed it to, "In their..." You got a good eye. It's a night that all the elements seem to come together for a wonderful experiences, and I only had to follow my instincts; not to half kill myself to get to see it. Which is rare... I thank you for the correction and in reviewing this. Mike
Comment from Jean Lutz
Great poetry. I hope you will offer more. This was so vivid -- brought on the chill of total solitude. Good that you head back to fire's warm embrace. I think you have "warn" instead of warm in that line. (unless my eyes are playing tricks?)
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Great poetry. I hope you will offer more. This was so vivid -- brought on the chill of total solitude. Good that you head back to fire's warm embrace. I think you have "warn" instead of warm in that line. (unless my eyes are playing tricks?)
Comment Written 14-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Not your eyes, but my mind. LOL I enjoyed this review and thank you for it, the correction and the compliments. That night was special for me, and it took a while and a little inspiration to be able to communicate it.
Comment from jgirlie152
This is an excellent poetic descriptive of your stroll through the wooded area with the moon lighting your way for this lovely adventure. Your feelings while enjoying your adventure are fully pictured in the mind while reading this.
Very enjoyable to read.
Joan
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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This is an excellent poetic descriptive of your stroll through the wooded area with the moon lighting your way for this lovely adventure. Your feelings while enjoying your adventure are fully pictured in the mind while reading this.
Very enjoyable to read.
Joan
Comment Written 14-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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I found it amazing that as damp and cold as it was, that it didn't seem to matter. I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Complete rendation. Almost a lamentation or a partial lamentation. What you have once vowed not to touch may sometimes later become a delight you tirelessly crave to have. The Illuminating Gaze could pass for a disappointment from a sincere lover, a romantic setting turned to a regret.
Ola-Thomas Olufemi
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Complete rendation. Almost a lamentation or a partial lamentation. What you have once vowed not to touch may sometimes later become a delight you tirelessly crave to have. The Illuminating Gaze could pass for a disappointment from a sincere lover, a romantic setting turned to a regret.
Ola-Thomas Olufemi
Comment Written 14-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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In a sense it is a lamention, but in the end, more about a celebration of one's convictions and courage. I thank you for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from WORDSOFTHEHEART
This is very well written and for me deep. I am just learning how to write different styles of poetry. I think this is a natural rythmn for me. I love the way you are so expressive, open and honest. Thank you for posting a beautiful and thought provoking poem.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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This is very well written and for me deep. I am just learning how to write different styles of poetry. I think this is a natural rythmn for me. I love the way you are so expressive, open and honest. Thank you for posting a beautiful and thought provoking poem.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Very often, it isn't the writing, but working up the courage to express to a reader you deepest thoughts. That requires a bit of organization of thought, but also waiting for the imagery to enter the mind that best describes them, as well relating meanings and ideas. I enjoyed this review and thank you for it as well the compliments. Mike
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You are most welcome Mike.
You are so correct. It does take courage to share your deepest thoughts. Then you put yourself out for reviewing of work so personal. I have to remember this is a process in which I will improve so maybe I can publish someday. Then my deepest joy, love, fear etc. will be shared and hopefully will touch and inspire my readers. You have the gift and the heart. Keep posting. Have a great day.
Cheryl
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That's my advice as well, since publishing is so fleeting and illusive. With posting here, I use them as my electronic portfolio and send out links when I think it would be appropriate. It has been a shock for me, to find my poems and writing being accessed every day. It provides me with a feeling that only money is purported to supply.
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Great idea Mike. With the internet , with a click we are sharing with the world.
Hugs, Cheryl
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As I was re-reading our replies I thought out loud" why would anyone give him a "good" this was an excellent poem. Then I see it is my rating. NOT ME!!!.. consider the click was in error. So sorry. I hope it corrected. : )
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Amazingly eloquent and well done imagery. The rhymes in some of the stanzas are off. I didn't know if you wanted to follow a particular rhyme scheme. It is so descriptive, the rhymes don't really bother me. This is great writing!!!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Amazingly eloquent and well done imagery. The rhymes in some of the stanzas are off. I didn't know if you wanted to follow a particular rhyme scheme. It is so descriptive, the rhymes don't really bother me. This is great writing!!!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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That's why I marked it semi-freestyle in the description line. In much of my writing, I want a similarity with rhyme, but not at the sacrifice of the meaning. With a different style poem, I would put in more concentration and effort at matching the rhymes. I thank you for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Jeremytcm
The first verse really sets the scene very well.
just an idea here in my own humble opinion, maybe make a small change so that this line flows a little better, "Hurry now, You're headed off to a show."
but it was a very beautiful poem. Very good work!
thank you for posting!!!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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The first verse really sets the scene very well.
just an idea here in my own humble opinion, maybe make a small change so that this line flows a little better, "Hurry now, You're headed off to a show."
but it was a very beautiful poem. Very good work!
thank you for posting!!!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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I really appreciate you suggestion, but there was a more casual sense to it and fee that hurry would add to much weight and priority to the line. I thank you for the suggestion, compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from MizKat
Mike K2 - Your poem is very nice. I like all of the descriptions in it. It's written very well and was definitely an enjoyable read. Kat
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Mike K2 - Your poem is very nice. I like all of the descriptions in it. It's written very well and was definitely an enjoyable read. Kat
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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I thank you for your compliments and this review. Mike
