Into The Night
No description for evil28 total reviews
Comment from Ukulele Indian
Great story! I was a little bit confused the first time through, but then I went back and reread the second half and it made much more sense. Very clever idea, very dark, very well-written. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Great story! I was a little bit confused the first time through, but then I went back and reread the second half and it made much more sense. Very clever idea, very dark, very well-written. Nicely done.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Hi again! You've gone back a ways! Thank you! I'm delighted you liked this. I remember working hard on it. Thanks for your patience and kind thoughts too! Susan
Comment from Sally Carter
A great story, Susan, very chilling, and cleverly developed. Once I got to the end, I re-read, and of course, the clues were there right from the start.
But first time round, you really had me believing this was a caring man, worrying about his lady.
I also loved the personification of the mountain - she sighed and heaved her breast. Wonderful!
Also the soft needled pines. A great contrast with the ugly human reality.
Just couple of tiny typos - "received" in the para beginning "Darkness enveloped the truck", and two "c"s in flaccid.
Your imagination is boundless, and your stories never disappoint. A pleasure to read.
My best to you
Sally
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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A great story, Susan, very chilling, and cleverly developed. Once I got to the end, I re-read, and of course, the clues were there right from the start.
But first time round, you really had me believing this was a caring man, worrying about his lady.
I also loved the personification of the mountain - she sighed and heaved her breast. Wonderful!
Also the soft needled pines. A great contrast with the ugly human reality.
Just couple of tiny typos - "received" in the para beginning "Darkness enveloped the truck", and two "c"s in flaccid.
Your imagination is boundless, and your stories never disappoint. A pleasure to read.
My best to you
Sally
Comment Written 13-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
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Hi and I send best wishes to you for a great week! I sure appreciate this review and also that you took a minute for me. I am sorry too, for another late thanks. NOT good. I'm trying! Love and smiles! Susan
Comment from ennahanid
Don't have a 6 although this is well worthy of one. Your Into The Night - Flash Fiction Writing Contest contest entry certainly holds the reader's attention and in the beginning one is inclined to think he has his wife and/or partner riding with him. But! Oh so wrong! Seems like perhaps he had dropped more than one young girl from that overhang and what is really sad is that this does happen more than we probably care to admit.
So! I am off to find something to cheer me up to read...Dinah
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
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Don't have a 6 although this is well worthy of one. Your Into The Night - Flash Fiction Writing Contest contest entry certainly holds the reader's attention and in the beginning one is inclined to think he has his wife and/or partner riding with him. But! Oh so wrong! Seems like perhaps he had dropped more than one young girl from that overhang and what is really sad is that this does happen more than we probably care to admit.
So! I am off to find something to cheer me up to read...Dinah
Comment Written 12-May-2012
reply by the author on 13-May-2012
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Hi Dinah!! Wow! And thank you so much. I can't help but write about sad things, I am just depressed to my very core. I did write a more hopeful one...maybe you'll see it later. Thank you for being here and your precious time too. xoxo. Susan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Paul killed her, but I am not sure why. HUMMM, because she slept? You have written and excellent flash fiction for this contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
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Paul killed her, but I am not sure why. HUMMM, because she slept? You have written and excellent flash fiction for this contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 12-May-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
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Hi there! I send this belated thank you with apologies and a thousand thanks...I really appreciate this kind review! xoxo. Susan
Comment from Ted T
Hi Susan :)
The piece is well written, but I can't really put my finger on anything solid with the story.
Is Lily dead? Has the trucker raped and murdered her? Is Smith a serial killer?
Without motivation/reaction units the story seems empty.
Good luck with the contest.
Ted
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Hi Susan :)
The piece is well written, but I can't really put my finger on anything solid with the story.
Is Lily dead? Has the trucker raped and murdered her? Is Smith a serial killer?
Without motivation/reaction units the story seems empty.
Good luck with the contest.
Ted
Comment Written 12-May-2012
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Hi Ted! I have space left, so after the contest I'll try to add to this? Good questions and I will revisit this ... Thank you so much! I appreciate your help! ps...I wrote a positive one with you in mind. Susan
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You're welcome -- looking forward to the positive story :)
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Now that's evil! Well done, Suse! Your story portrays a sick mind we don't know is sick until it's too late. You actually made him sympathetic. Outstanding work. :) nancy
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Now that's evil! Well done, Suse! Your story portrays a sick mind we don't know is sick until it's too late. You actually made him sympathetic. Outstanding work. :) nancy
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Hi Nancy! Thank you so much. I really tried to stick to the 'rules' of flash and it's hard. Some think this is too brief, but flash is supposed to leave a lot for the reader to figure out. From what I've read anyway. I'm honored by your great rating for this Nancy. Wow...I needed a boost today. Thank you again my friend...xoxo. Susan
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Suse, I learned to do flash in 100 words. You had plenty of room and still avoided adjectives and adverbs. You kept your sentences sharp and to the point. You told a complete story and let the reader fill in the missing pieces, as one is supposed to do in flash - or any fiction. You got the reader involved. Respected them enough to let them draw the right conclusions. This is excellent flash fiction. :) Nancy
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This is the best encouragement one could get Nancy. Thank you so much. I am truly honored by your note...xoxo. Susan
Comment from J. P. Egry
Very well-written flash fiction---a complete story with strong and immediate beginning, a developed middle and a conclusion that finished the story well. Though third person, the voice of the truck driver comes through clear and true. Even when the voice switched to the mountain in the final scenes, it seemed to work when it returned to the truck driver/rapist.
It kept me reading!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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Very well-written flash fiction---a complete story with strong and immediate beginning, a developed middle and a conclusion that finished the story well. Though third person, the voice of the truck driver comes through clear and true. Even when the voice switched to the mountain in the final scenes, it seemed to work when it returned to the truck driver/rapist.
It kept me reading!
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012
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HI all! More tardy thanks! I am so sorry. I had another injection, they are not really helping. I do so much appreciate your reading this and taking a minute to send me a note!! Love and hugs!!! Susan
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So sorry for all your troubles. Glad the writing keeps going---I love to read your work.
Comment from JW
In reading this story, it literally makes you shuddered to think there are people like this in the real world. It's very unfortunate, this is one of the risks in hitchhiking.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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In reading this story, it literally makes you shuddered to think there are people like this in the real world. It's very unfortunate, this is one of the risks in hitchhiking.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 10-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Hi Jonathon! I know, it makes me ill because I've had a couple of experiences where I could have wound up just like this gal. There is evil in the world...I used to believe every person was good deep down. But my view has changed. Sad...but, thank you for understanding this one and for another wonderful review...S.
Comment from guinea
Good job. This truly was an evil person. There is so many young people hitch hiking across the US. and it is so dangerous. I pray for the.
reply by the author on 10-May-2012
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Good job. This truly was an evil person. There is so many young people hitch hiking across the US. and it is so dangerous. I pray for the.
Comment Written 10-May-2012
reply by the author on 10-May-2012
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Hi there! thank you guinea! I appreciate this kind review! Susan
Comment from Gungalo
Whewie!! Now that is sone story girl. It has spark and verve and really makes you wonder right up util the end. I love it Susan. Oh my ...
reply by the author on 10-May-2012
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Whewie!! Now that is sone story girl. It has spark and verve and really makes you wonder right up util the end. I love it Susan. Oh my ...
Comment Written 10-May-2012
reply by the author on 10-May-2012
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Hi Miss C! Thank you again! I appreciate another great review...I hope you are happy and well.xoxo. Susan
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The best I could possibly be, Susan. Hope you are the same.
