Still, Bobby Cheered
A deserving teen gets passed over.69 total reviews
Comment from Barry1000
This was too easy. The story almost told itself. The emotional build-up and the suspense absolutely required that inspiring outcome. Any reader not ready to jump in and somehow give the jacket to Bobby has to be out to lunch. Not to tell the story would be negligence. I can't think of any way to improve on it. It is well written and uses an economy of verbiage. This I an underdog gets rewarded for loyalty and courage account that would be hard to beat.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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This was too easy. The story almost told itself. The emotional build-up and the suspense absolutely required that inspiring outcome. Any reader not ready to jump in and somehow give the jacket to Bobby has to be out to lunch. Not to tell the story would be negligence. I can't think of any way to improve on it. It is well written and uses an economy of verbiage. This I an underdog gets rewarded for loyalty and courage account that would be hard to beat.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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THanks so much for viewing this earlier post, Barry. I wrote the story of Bobby's life in my novel on site called The Floppy Baby.
Plan to get it self-published soon. He's very inspirational.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I sure appreciate this composition. Maybe it's because I have spent more than 6 months writing to Senators about a certain group of people who have been operating in business with the only aim of making money for themselves, while defrauding customers across the entire country. Or maybe it's the look in the eyes of your nephew in the photo. I think your sentences flow well and tell the story with impeccable timing. I would only change two little things.
The line:
Yes, he limped and moved slow
change slow to slowly
As for my outstanding brave nephew
Put a comma after outstanding
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
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I sure appreciate this composition. Maybe it's because I have spent more than 6 months writing to Senators about a certain group of people who have been operating in business with the only aim of making money for themselves, while defrauding customers across the entire country. Or maybe it's the look in the eyes of your nephew in the photo. I think your sentences flow well and tell the story with impeccable timing. I would only change two little things.
The line:
Yes, he limped and moved slow
change slow to slowly
As for my outstanding brave nephew
Put a comma after outstanding
Comment Written 05-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
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Thabk you so much Crystie for the exceptional rating. I'll catch the spags. Bobby is 45 now and has been in a wheelchair since he turned twenty. He never complains. How does this connect to the Senator writes. I'm betting it's about aid for the handicap??
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No, in April I found out the USPS' lost mail department in Georgia has been literally confiscating just about everything postal customers don't package securely and piling it up in an unorganized way to auction off, even though customers send in search forms hoping to get their stuff back. It's the way I lost over 50 of my music books, all my high school yearbooks, and books inherited from my grandmother, which I shipped to myself when I moved from Utah to New Mexico. They claimed they couldn't find anything, but they had mailed me the tracking tag off one of the boxes, so I know the books were in their facility. Photos of their piles of books were posted on a government website meant to auction off more postal customers' property, so their fraudulence was made public. Book buyers who attended the previous auctions wouldn't reveal their names to newspaper reporters, so I suspect there were some backroom deals going on as well. The husband of a classmate of mine lost all his books due to their business practices as well. For months I have been just feeling like why are so many people allowed to have positions where they are well-paid and are supposed to serve the public but instead steal from others to serve themselves for years, and the contrast of your nephew's true sense of service, helpful behavior and good sportsmanship-like attitude was such a startling contrast that it was a relief to read.
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What a horrific thing to steal the memories of people, things that can't be replaced. Have you written an article about it and if so, get your newspaper to print it as a letter to the editor at least. Maybe some sort of group action will happen.
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I've been writing to a few newspapers today in Utah and New Mexico. I heard Congressman Issa of California got a bill passed in the House to get the USPS under closer supervision until they figure out how to make a legitimate profit, but I think since Georgia has had the main lost mail department since the 1950s, that the corruption goes all the way to the top, and another state ought to have the right to take over the operations. I wrote to the head of the facility six months ago and told him I was 100% under-impressed by everything he claimed in a newspaper article praising the job they were doing. I also thought about taking a petition around in New Mexico but wasn't sure how much extra work I wanted to do if the books are long-gone anyway.
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Well, at least you tried! It's hard to fight corruption!
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Well, at least you tried! It's hard to fight corruption!
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Thank you. I can't help but feel that Benjamin Franklin, who founded the Post Office, would be especially disgusted if he saw what they are doing today.
Comment from QueenNobo
This reads like one of the Chicken Soup stories: inspiring, touching and full of encouragement. Stories about people with handicaps are one of my favourite kinds of non-fiction. I liked the image you created of the boy: though physically weak, he had a strong spirit. The dialogues were alright. Though I think this: "Who cared! Let's go home, she wanted to say. I was ready to leave too." could have been written better. Maybe parenthesis would help? Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
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This reads like one of the Chicken Soup stories: inspiring, touching and full of encouragement. Stories about people with handicaps are one of my favourite kinds of non-fiction. I liked the image you created of the boy: though physically weak, he had a strong spirit. The dialogues were alright. Though I think this: "Who cared! Let's go home, she wanted to say. I was ready to leave too." could have been written better. Maybe parenthesis would help? Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
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Thanks for your comments. I look forward to reading some of your work.
Comment from Beverley101
Wow! You gave me shivers! I rooted for Bobby and hoped that he would be given a trophy. It's easy to see why you won this contest. Kudos to you and good luck with your writing. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
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Wow! You gave me shivers! I rooted for Bobby and hoped that he would be given a trophy. It's easy to see why you won this contest. Kudos to you and good luck with your writing. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
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So glad you reviewed this, so I could tune into your profile page and read your harrowing story-- an excellent non-fiction entry. I wrote Bobby's whole story in a book called Floppy Baby. It's almost finished. Have one chapter left to go.
Comment from livvid
After reading "Still Bobby Cheered," by Spitfire, this work did bring comfortable memories of my youth. In grade school I, for whatever reason never was competitive enough to join any athletic club. But I wanted to be with my friends who were athletically inclined, some to the point of hysteria.
I do like Spitfires use of verbal imagery. She wrote of some of the unsavory things Bobby did without complaining,like picking up towels, and difficulty with some physical tasks.
I did not have any physical handicap to speak of, back in my youth. However I remember not having what prowess it takes to compete in sports of any kind. I am glad this piece did end as it did. Maybe it can give some amount of hope with people with handicaps.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2012
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After reading "Still Bobby Cheered," by Spitfire, this work did bring comfortable memories of my youth. In grade school I, for whatever reason never was competitive enough to join any athletic club. But I wanted to be with my friends who were athletically inclined, some to the point of hysteria.
I do like Spitfires use of verbal imagery. She wrote of some of the unsavory things Bobby did without complaining,like picking up towels, and difficulty with some physical tasks.
I did not have any physical handicap to speak of, back in my youth. However I remember not having what prowess it takes to compete in sports of any kind. I am glad this piece did end as it did. Maybe it can give some amount of hope with people with handicaps.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the review, livid. Any suggestions on how to improve it? (Four starts imply it's good but need improvement) :-)
Shari
Comment from Realist101
Dear Shari! I'm SO sorry I missed this wonderful account. Please say hello to Bobby for me? Wow! I've never liked sports, but this young man is a testament to all that is good. And your writing here is perfect. VERY good work. Congratulations on this much deserved win!! Wow! love, Susan
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012
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Dear Shari! I'm SO sorry I missed this wonderful account. Please say hello to Bobby for me? Wow! I've never liked sports, but this young man is a testament to all that is good. And your writing here is perfect. VERY good work. Congratulations on this much deserved win!! Wow! love, Susan
Comment Written 01-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Susan. I credit my sister for writing the rough draft. Bobby is one amazing person. I stop complaining when I think of all he has to endure.
Hugs, Shari
Comment from Pandora913
Amazing. I loved it from the start. I especially loved it when Bobby was awarded the jacket. Bobby seems to be a great person, he doesn't seem to be the type that complains about his physical challenge.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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Amazing. I loved it from the start. I especially loved it when Bobby was awarded the jacket. Bobby seems to be a great person, he doesn't seem to be the type that complains about his physical challenge.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
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Thanks so much, Pandora for the sixer. This piece really became a favorite with readers. I'm written a couple more stories about Bobbie's childhood and plan to do more. He's amazing.
Comment from Trooper48
A very emotional and loving story. An inspiration for anyone who suffers from any sort of illness. How many times have we said to ourselves...ILL Never moan about small things that irritate me, yet we do. People like Bobby are the real Masters of life. Much Love to him and yourself and family.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2012
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A very emotional and loving story. An inspiration for anyone who suffers from any sort of illness. How many times have we said to ourselves...ILL Never moan about small things that irritate me, yet we do. People like Bobby are the real Masters of life. Much Love to him and yourself and family.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2012
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Thanks, Trooper. I appreciate your going so far back into my files. I'll be posting another piece about Bobby sometime next week.
Comment from DianeLWood
This story drew so much emotion I had goosebumps. It's the kind of story that leaves everlasting thoughts, a truly memorable one.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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This story drew so much emotion I had goosebumps. It's the kind of story that leaves everlasting thoughts, a truly memorable one.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Thanks, Diane. I've had so many responses to this, that I "interviewed" Bobby a couple weeks ago so I could write more on his childhood and adult life.
Comment from AdziJ
This is a well deserved winner.
What a lovely heartfelt, well written piece!
It's wonderful to know that there are heroes out there - doing their best under grueling circumstances.
Bobby is definitely one of those treasured heroes!
Well done Bobby - and thanks for the story!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
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This is a well deserved winner.
What a lovely heartfelt, well written piece!
It's wonderful to know that there are heroes out there - doing their best under grueling circumstances.
Bobby is definitely one of those treasured heroes!
Well done Bobby - and thanks for the story!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
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Thanks Adzij For finding this gem in my portfolio. Bobby is now 43 and I just interviewed him a week ago so I can update his story.
