That one feeling
When one accepts their fate!10 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
with only seconds to spate - I just looked this word up again to double check and I can't find it as a verb or as having a meaning that works in your line
good alliteration in lose my life
strong rhymes
strong expression of intense emotion Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
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with only seconds to spate - I just looked this word up again to double check and I can't find it as a verb or as having a meaning that works in your line
good alliteration in lose my life
strong rhymes
strong expression of intense emotion Brooke
Comment Written 24-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
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Well, I don't like it, but I see your point. I changed the stanza into,
"How can you change your fate,
with only seconds left,
yout thoughts turn to a spate."
I didn't choose the word for rhyming, but the fact I wanted the imagery of a storm suddenly opening up in the mind. I think the change does provide of a better usage. I really appreciate this poem and really thank you for the compliments. How many people fly helecopters or do activites like I have done. Yet I have many more of those experiences just crossing Harford Road. In fact, just outside of work, I watched a customer cross the street and get hit by a car. I will never forget the look on his face when he cartwheeled over it. I knew the very moment he had the realization that he might die. I think everyone had that Oh sheet moment and wanted to use both video and literary imagery to bump it up a notch.
I already had one site pull the video, and used another embed that should remain more perminant. I have to keep watch over this to see how to adjust my notes in the future. Another good reason to always try to get the poem to stand on its own before providing imagery for it.
I thank you very much for the compliments and reivew. Let me know if the change makes it better or worse. Mike
Comment from IndianaIrish
What an amazing video, Mike. I'm glad you survived all your close calls. Your poem reminds me of my dad...he fell off the roof of a tall building in the steel plant he worked and must have had those moments of "Oh, shit!" before his death.
regards,
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
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What an amazing video, Mike. I'm glad you survived all your close calls. Your poem reminds me of my dad...he fell off the roof of a tall building in the steel plant he worked and must have had those moments of "Oh, shit!" before his death.
regards,
Indy :>)
Comment Written 24-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012
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For whatever reason, the user removed the video, so I used another link. We'll see how that one goes, and hope I get warning if using an embed would cause problems for me here. I thank you for sharing your father's experience, as well the comments and this review. Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Mike,
The picture you chose does highlight you excellent verbiage...even though it is a bit scary. Your author's notes were interesting and even though we know one day we will die, it's better not to dwell on the fact. You have had some close calls and I am sure God is protecting you. This is a fine poem and I am sorry I don't have a six for you. Well done, chey
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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Hi Mike,
The picture you chose does highlight you excellent verbiage...even though it is a bit scary. Your author's notes were interesting and even though we know one day we will die, it's better not to dwell on the fact. You have had some close calls and I am sure God is protecting you. This is a fine poem and I am sorry I don't have a six for you. Well done, chey
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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I see it as not protecting me, but not wanting me in His world! LOL I felt the image was a close second as I had the image I was seeking firmly in my mind, but I felt the video embed carried it the rest of the way. I have been thinking of a poem like this for about a year, but the combination of imagery and the coalescence of ideas, made it possible. I love this review and there is no better compliments that what you included. Tom, is reticent towards the needs to provide the reviewers with more stars! I point blank told him, the poetry here is that good!
Instead of thank you, I say God bless Chey! Mike
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You are welcome, Mike. I wish Tom would listen to you and maybe he will. God Bless you, too....chey
Comment from fairy77
wow!Sounds like you had a terrible time.It's good to vent and it sounds very stressful.Well rhymed I hope things improve you should pump this.beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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wow!Sounds like you had a terrible time.It's good to vent and it sounds very stressful.Well rhymed I hope things improve you should pump this.beth fairy77.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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I wished that I could, but things are so very tight. I thank you for your compliments and this review. MIke
Comment from Jean Lutz
When the final moment comes for me, I hope my thoughts will be focused on Him not me. I've been a risk taker too. I see what fear does to so many people I try to overcome it.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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When the final moment comes for me, I hope my thoughts will be focused on Him not me. I've been a risk taker too. I see what fear does to so many people I try to overcome it.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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That comment reminds me of my father, as he expected to die a certain date and time. Well the appointed time came, and we went upstairs and he opened his eyes, "What the hell are you doing here?" I had to inform him that perhaps God is not a German clock maker. After that he was a bit hard to care for, because he thought we shouldn't be.
I enjoyed this review and in the couple of moments I had, there really wasn't time to think about Him, outside realizing that, "one is willing." Somewhat amazed I was still alive, I felt a bit down because, "Heaven didn't want me." I thank you very much for this review, and sharing what you said too. Mike
Comment from keiarbj
You're definitely right. Sometimes, we encounter situations where we'll typically reconsider living. And that's when we'll question our fate or accept it.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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You're definitely right. Sometimes, we encounter situations where we'll typically reconsider living. And that's when we'll question our fate or accept it.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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I thank you for your review. Mike
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You're welcome!
Comment from Chris Tee
This is so true and I have experienced this as well you think this is it and then the miracle happens. Well done Mike with this excellent poem here old chap.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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This is so true and I have experienced this as well you think this is it and then the miracle happens. Well done Mike with this excellent poem here old chap.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from peggles
This is a really interesting poem you have written
Very dark and deep
Compelling and dramatic
you do live on the edge
This is well written and really kept my attention
your end notes could almost make another story very interesting
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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This is a really interesting poem you have written
Very dark and deep
Compelling and dramatic
you do live on the edge
This is well written and really kept my attention
your end notes could almost make another story very interesting
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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I did find out he was performing a manuever known as, "Return to target," but could find no definition for it. I thank you very much for reviewing this and the compliments. Mike
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
It's bad enough if I loose my life, <<< Spelling error... you mean LOSE, just one O in it. LOOSE means not attached firmly.
I can't believe I walked out of the situation,
despite my climes, it will become my faithful inspiration! <<< did you really mean to say CLIMES here, as is climates? CLIMBS is what you mean, I think.
We all had the moment, "Oh, shit!" <<< yes, happens to us all! But not to where we might die... usually much less horrible consequences, like getting a ticket when you see the cop car flashing behind you.
Let me know if you do an edit so I can come back. :)
Sure would like to add another star, but by the guidelines, I'm not allowed as long as it contains errors.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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It's bad enough if I loose my life, <<< Spelling error... you mean LOSE, just one O in it. LOOSE means not attached firmly.
I can't believe I walked out of the situation,
despite my climes, it will become my faithful inspiration! <<< did you really mean to say CLIMES here, as is climates? CLIMBS is what you mean, I think.
We all had the moment, "Oh, shit!" <<< yes, happens to us all! But not to where we might die... usually much less horrible consequences, like getting a ticket when you see the cop car flashing behind you.
Let me know if you do an edit so I can come back. :)
Sure would like to add another star, but by the guidelines, I'm not allowed as long as it contains errors.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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Climes is a valid word and gets use from me, a combination of situation and atmosphere. I did fix loose to lose as that is what I meant. I consider it the curse of my Balimore accent. I thank you for that catch.
I know we all had that moment, but in dramatic fashion, wanted to extend it to a more spiritual meaning, and I think the helicopter imagery became a great translator.
I thank you for pointing out the correction I needed to make, as will the compliments and this review. You can always check out climes yourself by typing the word in your browser and make any change in your rating accordingly. Mike
Comment from Ekim777
I think I know the direction you're going. Mine is not as dramatic but I am reaching the age when inexorably, naturally the shadow of death approaches. This can be frightening but not necessarily menacing. A rabbi once said that we need to live each day as if we are dying tomorrow. The fact is, in an irrational way death gives life meaning and even glory. All your examples in your piece are reactions to the laws of accident and circumstance."It just happened to me." We hardly realize that we ascribe these accidents to ourselves; we make our own circumstances even unconsciously. How do we gain control of our lives our fates? Awareness is the key. Awareness is our greatest strength.The more we are aware,the more we move out from under the laws of accident when things just happen; to the laws of fate, when we have some measure of control. A famous professional mountain climber and guide was constantly bothered with a recurring dream that he was falling off a mountain. He approached Carl Jung a leading psychiatrist who told him to stop climbing immediately. "Impossible, mountain climbing is my life!" Six months later he fell off a mountain to his death. -Ekim
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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I think I know the direction you're going. Mine is not as dramatic but I am reaching the age when inexorably, naturally the shadow of death approaches. This can be frightening but not necessarily menacing. A rabbi once said that we need to live each day as if we are dying tomorrow. The fact is, in an irrational way death gives life meaning and even glory. All your examples in your piece are reactions to the laws of accident and circumstance."It just happened to me." We hardly realize that we ascribe these accidents to ourselves; we make our own circumstances even unconsciously. How do we gain control of our lives our fates? Awareness is the key. Awareness is our greatest strength.The more we are aware,the more we move out from under the laws of accident when things just happen; to the laws of fate, when we have some measure of control. A famous professional mountain climber and guide was constantly bothered with a recurring dream that he was falling off a mountain. He approached Carl Jung a leading psychiatrist who told him to stop climbing immediately. "Impossible, mountain climbing is my life!" Six months later he fell off a mountain to his death. -Ekim
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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I love this review and wish they too held ratings. What a story and I have mine with the mountains as well. I did have a falling off of one dream and a friend and fellow troop member brought in a book that related almost word for world a semi surviving mountain team that tackled the Matterhorn. I would have walked off of one, had my crew members not jumped me. I told myself, just tackle this ridge and then the mountain will be easy. With the altitude sickness, I didn't realize the ridge was the mountain and highly pissed off I lost the mountain, I struck out to find it!
I was doing nature photography in 102 degree weather, with a 35 pound pack, 7 pounds of mountaineering boot and full humidity. At the top, I just started my altimeter watch when my knees gave out. I never realized it was humanly possible to run down 250 feet of altitude in 20 seconds. It was all that I could do to put one foot in front of the other until I could find the terrain to arrest the decent. I was praying to God, either life or death, but was horrified with the image of $22,000 worth of camera equipment strewn about the mountain like aircraft wreckage and being taken down by a bunch of cursing rangers, then needing six months to recuperate as I hope I can fully recover.
My last great story was in leading my troop on a hike in winter. I was happy to get my first ice axe, there was something I didn't like that I sensed, so had my assistant hold the troop so I could lead. I heard a soft, "Poof!" and the snow around me gave way as I had the trip of my life arresting my fall in this mini avalanche. (250 ft) I was thankful just to remain on the top. My friend was thankful as well.
I like what your Rabbi says as in one way it means to get the maximum out of life that you can, and in the other, to plan to live life doing right and leaving with no regrets.
I love this review and thank you for it! Mike
