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As Berries Burst With Juice


two octets in 6/7/6/7/6/6/6/6

  181 total reviews 
Comment by
Janice Canerdy
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  Rank:  56 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  102 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  24
 
Excellent
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This delightful poem uses the berry (perhaps ?) to symbolize all those sweet, beautiful things God gives us through nature. This WOULD make a great song. Good job


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Janice, thanks so very much :-) Brooke
Comment by
WilliamDeen
 
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Your poem, As Berries Burst With Juice, is such a lovely poem. It has a lovely rhyming scheme and the cadence is smooth and easy, too.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
    Billy, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
SamuelClemens
 
 
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Never before have a appreciated miniamalism in poetry as I do after having read this piece. You can say so much in so few words. It's very impressive.
Great job!
-Samuel Clemens


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Samuel, thanks so very much for your gracious response to this poem : -) Brooke
Comment by
October21
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This is beautiful, Brooke.
I am hungry for berries
the description and vividness of the fruit are so lively and full
the ending is perfect, mentioning God, creator of all
I like the rhyme scheme, too.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    October, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Jonathon Waterman
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In reading your well written poem, I could not help but smile. How delicious fresh berries are. I can easily recall the taste and wish I have a fresh berry pie right now. :-) JW


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012

Comment by
uniqueauthor
 
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This is well written and provides sage advise for all who must ear to live, and this means everyone.
I thank the brook and the sun,
I thank the gracious vine,
And then I thank the Lord,
Who made Creation Mine.

I am thankful for every day
I am thankful in every way
I am most greatful of all
To the Spirit
Of the Awesome One



 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    uniqueauthor, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review.
    Brooke :-)
Comment by
LadyCosgrove
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I can literally taste the wonderfully flavoured berries and feel the juice on my tongue. That, right there, is an image sent direct to my senses.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Lady Cosgrove, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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barbara.wilkey Recommends:
Chapter 10, part 6
Cash and Billy Joe discuss women.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents
 

#7 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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It's amazing to me that you can here a meter, identify it, and then figure out how to write a poem that matches it. WOW!!!!! I get stuck with the identifing the meter. Then on top of it all you write not only a poem, but a great poem.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Barbara, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
pigwit
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Brooke,
What a nice poem for a wintry day. it has been snowing here the last couple of days, but this poem reminded me of the blackberry and raspberry patches we have out back.

Made me long for summer (and I'm a fall/winter lover too).

Pigwit

---------


I LIKED THIS SET OF LINES
No chef could proffer more
than this on which I'm dining,
a prime al fresco meal
of nature's fine designing.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012

Comment by
wordsfromsue
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This is humble and gorgeous. Taking time to observe nature's bounty, then being wise enough to partake of it. The picture is restful and appetizing. :-)
Your words always make the ordinary seem extraordinary. :-)


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Sue, thanks so very much :-) Brooke
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senryu (no punctuation)
a 5-7-5 senryu by accident


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