Enough Is Enough
Do Not Walk Away! 		Pays: One point.
94 member cents
Contact Us  
   
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Blank Verse Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

ABAB Poetry Contest
Deadline: May 31st

Love Poem Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jun 3rd

The Zoo
Deadline: Jun 9th

Non-Fiction Writing Contest
Deadline: Jun 16th


Writing Classes

Imperial Court Tanka
Class Begins: June 2nd

Religious Texts/Poetry
Class Begins: June 2nd

Horror Fiction
Class Begins: June 3rd

haibun
Class Begins: June 30th

The Bible and Poetry
Class Begins: June 30th

5 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None

Recommended


Categories


Write


Reviews from
As Berries Burst With Juice


two octets in 6/7/6/7/6/6/6/6

  181 total reviews 
Comment by
the blue pixel
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I really enjoyed the rhythm you created in these Octets. I shall have to bookcase this one as the metre of it really appeals to me. I am assuming that the rhyme scheme is up to the poet. I know this might sound silly, but I really loved your final two lines in stanza one, especially line 8. It is as if the berries exist and bulge with juice, just for you alone and you don't need any fancy recipe to enhance the luscious taste. xx Carol


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
    Carol, thank you so very much for your review. This is not some named form - I just patterned my poem after a specific hymn, so yes, the rhyme scheme is up to you :-) Brooke
Comment by
Doc Holiday
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  343 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  142
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  23
Review Stars
  Rank:  126
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Perfect rhyme and meter
keeps this poem in a chant-like expression of paying homage to the fruits of the earth and all of the satisfying pleasures they provide us!


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Doc, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
donnadiann
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  836 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  444
Review Stars
  Rank:  460
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like the honor, to God our Creator that you've written so graciously here. I think your poem has a bright cheerfulness to it also, and kind of makes me feel the welcomeness your church inspires through their love for God. I was in church this morning too--it's a joy to be there. Oh, didn't mean to get away from the poem, but was thinking about the author notes. Good alliterations....berries burst...and clever imagery throughout the poem. LOL. your friend, donnadiann


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    donnadiann, thank you so much for your sharing your thoughts :-) Brooke

reply by donnadiann on 20-Feb-2012
    You're so welcome:)
Comment by
kiwigirl2821
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  110 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  95
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  255
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Brooke, I can definitely hear this in a song. You have such an honesty about the words you write. Simple letters put together to form the words aren't enough with your writes; Those words create a feeling that is intense and demand to be read by all. I am always so excited when you write Brooke cause I haven't ever read a poorly thought out or written verse from you. That alone would be a Bravo from this writer. Wonderful! xoox deborah


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Deb, thanks so very much, my friend - it is always good to hear from you :-) Brooke
Comment by
Merajul
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The red berries have become real with your words!Nice thoughts in the second part of the poem.
'As berries burst with juice,
all season they've been saving,' I liked very much.
The pic in background very well complements the poems.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Merajul, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Joan E.
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  61
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  105
 
Joan E. Recommends:
senryu (no punctuation)
a 5-7-5 senryu by accident
Pays:10 points
10 member cents
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Thank you for sharing part of your process. I'm glad the hymn inspired you and you shared the result. I enjoyed the meter in your octets and thank the "gracious" Brooke for her contribution to making life more pleasant. Hugs- Joan


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Thanks so much, Joan - glad you enjoyed :-) Brooke
Comment by
l.raven
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  152
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another great poem Brooke. As kids we would pick mullberries. They were great. Love the wording in your poem, but the colors are great. And the picture perfect. love it!!! Linda


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Linda, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
missy98writer
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Brooke,
Your poem is cleverly written. You words paint splendid imagery in the readers head. The art work is amazing- the berries look lush. Your two octlets are in very fine form. You octets have a great lyrical cadence to it as read aloud. In your two octets you used excellent alliteration and effective metaphor usage. I enjoyed the lines: "No chef could proffer more than this on which I'm dining, a prime al fresco meal of nature's fine designing. I thank the brook and sun, I thank the gracious vine, and then I thank the Lord, Who made Creation mine." I love your poem and its strong spiritual message. I like the octets style of structured poetry because of it's song like rhythm due to iambic meter. I'd recommend your poem in octets form to other reviewers. It was a pleasure to have read your poem. I hope you have a blessed day.
Melissa.


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Melissa, thank you so much, my friend :-) I hope you too have a blessed day. Brooke :-)
Comment by
Chris Tee
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
These are absolutely magnificent Octets which you have composed here for us Brooke old sport. Well done indeed with this splendid work ma'am.


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Chris, thanks so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment by
Glasstruth
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  35
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  167
Review Stars
  Rank:  49
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Nature is a gift we take for granted. Also destroy for profit, maybe if these selfish jerks would've grown up in nature, or would've had better teachers? Your is wonderful reminder of where we should be. Les


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
    Les, sorry for the delayed reply - I'm digging out buried reviews : -) Thanks so much :-) Brooke
  Previous Page  10 11 12 13  -14-  15 16 17 18 19  Next Page 


Writer's Unblock
4 rhyming quatrains with 2 extra lines for good measure!


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2013 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy