As Berries Burst With Juice
two octets in 6/7/6/7/6/6/6/6181 total reviews
Comment from the blue pixel
I really enjoyed the rhythm you created in these Octets. I shall have to bookcase this one as the metre of it really appeals to me. I am assuming that the rhyme scheme is up to the poet. I know this might sound silly, but I really loved your final two lines in stanza one, especially line 8. It is as if the berries exist and bulge with juice, just for you alone and you don't need any fancy recipe to enhance the luscious taste. xx Carol
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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I really enjoyed the rhythm you created in these Octets. I shall have to bookcase this one as the metre of it really appeals to me. I am assuming that the rhyme scheme is up to the poet. I know this might sound silly, but I really loved your final two lines in stanza one, especially line 8. It is as if the berries exist and bulge with juice, just for you alone and you don't need any fancy recipe to enhance the luscious taste. xx Carol
Comment Written 20-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Carol, thank you so very much for your review. This is not some named form - I just patterned my poem after a specific hymn, so yes, the rhyme scheme is up to you :-) Brooke
Comment from Doc Holiday
Perfect rhyme and meter
keeps this poem in a chant-like expression of paying homage to the fruits of the earth and all of the satisfying pleasures they provide us!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Perfect rhyme and meter
keeps this poem in a chant-like expression of paying homage to the fruits of the earth and all of the satisfying pleasures they provide us!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Doc, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from donnadiann
I like the honor, to God our Creator that you've written so graciously here. I think your poem has a bright cheerfulness to it also, and kind of makes me feel the welcomeness your church inspires through their love for God. I was in church this morning too--it's a joy to be there. Oh, didn't mean to get away from the poem, but was thinking about the author notes. Good alliterations....berries burst...and clever imagery throughout the poem. LOL. your friend, donnadiann
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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I like the honor, to God our Creator that you've written so graciously here. I think your poem has a bright cheerfulness to it also, and kind of makes me feel the welcomeness your church inspires through their love for God. I was in church this morning too--it's a joy to be there. Oh, didn't mean to get away from the poem, but was thinking about the author notes. Good alliterations....berries burst...and clever imagery throughout the poem. LOL. your friend, donnadiann
Comment Written 20-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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donnadiann, thank you so much for your sharing your thoughts :-) Brooke
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You're so welcome:)
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Brooke, I can definitely hear this in a song. You have such an honesty about the words you write. Simple letters put together to form the words aren't enough with your writes; Those words create a feeling that is intense and demand to be read by all. I am always so excited when you write Brooke cause I haven't ever read a poorly thought out or written verse from you. That alone would be a Bravo from this writer. Wonderful! xoox deborah
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Hi Brooke, I can definitely hear this in a song. You have such an honesty about the words you write. Simple letters put together to form the words aren't enough with your writes; Those words create a feeling that is intense and demand to be read by all. I am always so excited when you write Brooke cause I haven't ever read a poorly thought out or written verse from you. That alone would be a Bravo from this writer. Wonderful! xoox deborah
Comment Written 20-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Deb, thanks so very much, my friend - it is always good to hear from you :-) Brooke
Comment from Merajul
The red berries have become real with your words!Nice thoughts in the second part of the poem.
'As berries burst with juice,
all season they've been saving,' I liked very much.
The pic in background very well complements the poems.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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The red berries have become real with your words!Nice thoughts in the second part of the poem.
'As berries burst with juice,
all season they've been saving,' I liked very much.
The pic in background very well complements the poems.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Merajul, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing part of your process. I'm glad the hymn inspired you and you shared the result. I enjoyed the meter in your octets and thank the "gracious" Brooke for her contribution to making life more pleasant. Hugs- Joan
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Thank you for sharing part of your process. I'm glad the hymn inspired you and you shared the result. I enjoyed the meter in your octets and thank the "gracious" Brooke for her contribution to making life more pleasant. Hugs- Joan
Comment Written 20-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Thanks so much, Joan - glad you enjoyed :-) Brooke
Comment from l.raven
Another great poem Brooke. As kids we would pick mullberries. They were great. Love the wording in your poem, but the colors are great. And the picture perfect. love it!!! Linda
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Another great poem Brooke. As kids we would pick mullberries. They were great. Love the wording in your poem, but the colors are great. And the picture perfect. love it!!! Linda
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Linda, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from missy98writer
Brooke,
Your poem is cleverly written. You words paint splendid imagery in the readers head. The art work is amazing- the berries look lush. Your two octlets are in very fine form. You octets have a great lyrical cadence to it as read aloud. In your two octets you used excellent alliteration and effective metaphor usage. I enjoyed the lines: "No chef could proffer more than this on which I'm dining, a prime al fresco meal of nature's fine designing. I thank the brook and sun, I thank the gracious vine, and then I thank the Lord, Who made Creation mine." I love your poem and its strong spiritual message. I like the octets style of structured poetry because of it's song like rhythm due to iambic meter. I'd recommend your poem in octets form to other reviewers. It was a pleasure to have read your poem. I hope you have a blessed day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Brooke,
Your poem is cleverly written. You words paint splendid imagery in the readers head. The art work is amazing- the berries look lush. Your two octlets are in very fine form. You octets have a great lyrical cadence to it as read aloud. In your two octets you used excellent alliteration and effective metaphor usage. I enjoyed the lines: "No chef could proffer more than this on which I'm dining, a prime al fresco meal of nature's fine designing. I thank the brook and sun, I thank the gracious vine, and then I thank the Lord, Who made Creation mine." I love your poem and its strong spiritual message. I like the octets style of structured poetry because of it's song like rhythm due to iambic meter. I'd recommend your poem in octets form to other reviewers. It was a pleasure to have read your poem. I hope you have a blessed day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Melissa, thank you so much, my friend :-) I hope you too have a blessed day. Brooke :-)
Comment from Chris Tee
These are absolutely magnificent Octets which you have composed here for us Brooke old sport. Well done indeed with this splendid work ma'am.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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These are absolutely magnificent Octets which you have composed here for us Brooke old sport. Well done indeed with this splendid work ma'am.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Chris, thanks so much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from Glasstruth
Nature is a gift we take for granted. Also destroy for profit, maybe if these selfish jerks would've grown up in nature, or would've had better teachers? Your is wonderful reminder of where we should be. Les
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Nature is a gift we take for granted. Also destroy for profit, maybe if these selfish jerks would've grown up in nature, or would've had better teachers? Your is wonderful reminder of where we should be. Les
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Les, sorry for the delayed reply - I'm digging out buried reviews : -) Thanks so much :-) Brooke
