A Nightmare.
After a few sleepless nights. (rhyming free-verse) 		Pays: One point.
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As Berries Burst With Juice


two octets in 6/7/6/7/6/6/6/6

  181 total reviews 
Comment by
words
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  Rank:  13
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  Rank:  99
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
My mouth is still watering from reading this one.

And you are so right ... nature is the best chef.

Greetings from the bottom of the rating pack ... Life at the bottom isn't that bad. LOL

Hugs, d


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Diane, thank you so very much, my friend. I don't care where you are in the pack - you and I both know you're tops in talent :-) Brooke
Comment by
Border Reiver
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Perfect, Brooke.

The first stanza made me feel like I was a character from Brambly Hedge scuttering about by the river and having a cheeky snack. I could even imagine this as a poem the characters might read to each other.

I am amazed at how your mind works and the sheer mastery you have over your craft. I know reviews should not be personal, but I can't help but scream out loud, "YOU ARE BRILLIANT". This is not flattery, it's a fact.

It's not fair that only the people on FanStory get to read these pieces. The English speaking world deserves to know about your work. Saying on a par with Wordsworth is not being far fetched and as a Cumbrian, I would never EVER make such a claim, if it weren't justified. Surely, you must have something published?

Anyway, that's my little random rant over :)

p.s. I adore the imagery of this paricular poem and how it whisks me off to another place and season.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    To say your comments are encouraging is an understatement - I truly do have to pursue publication :-) Thank you so very much, my friend :-) Brooke

reply by Border Reiver on 20-Feb-2012
    Well for a start, you already has a fan base of over 800 and therefore a huge readership that would impress any publisher. Or, if you choose self-publication you'd already have a head start on publicity :)
Comment by
dejohnsrld (Debbie)
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  Rank:  132
 

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This is stunning, Brooke. Makes me really yearn for the fresh berries of spring!!!
Two questions 7 syllable iambic is Dadumdadumdadumda?

Octet abacadaeaf?

Thanks so much!!! Debbie


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Debbie, thank you so very much. If you write the dadums all in lower case it is impossible to tell where the accenting is. Iambic is daDUM to show that the first syllable is unaccented. :-) Brooke
Comment by
steevie
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  Rank:  125
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This word burbles, I am not familiar with it. This is quite an education being on this site. I have learned so much here and will continue to learn.
You, yourself have been a great inspiration, of one who works tirelessly to share your art form with us.


Thank you for that, Brooke
take care
steve


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Steve, thanks so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke

reply by steevie on 20-Feb-2012
    :o#)
Comment by
Amicus
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Mmmmm--makes me want to speed up the calendar (or turn back the clock) and find myself sitting in a sunny spot eating fresh picked wild blackberries from the palm of my hand. Lovely imagery and satisfying rhymes....good one.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Amicus, if you find a spot, invite me over :-) Thanks, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment by
Maureen Napier
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  7
 

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This was just sensational I loved it.
So ripe I could almost taste those berries your poem described. It's so fluid as read, I have a sense of song within me that the children would love to hum.

It grabbed my heart also for the few good memories I have as a child picking berries along the verges so wild and free they seemed at the time to be extra juicy.

Great poem and it brought me a big smile with warm memories.

My Favourites:

"I pluck one from its stem
to satisfy my craving.
The brook that burbles by," // Were you watching me as I stuffed my face with berries by the stream??? How clear is the wonder of that memory as if it was yesterday. A great gift you unknowingly gave me as I read this part.:)

"I thank the brook and sun,
I thank the gracious vine,
and then I thank the Lord,
Who made Creation mine." // Gratitude for all the blessings we receive, wonderful lines to finish with.

I enjoyed reading this poem very much. It's sunny outside the sky is blue, and though it is cold I can almost see those berries before me...

Thanks for sharing. You're rationed on sixers it seems. Never the less and exceptional work.
Maureen


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Maureen, thank you so very much, my friend - you are such a gracious and encouraging reviewer :-) Brooke
Comment by
Janie King
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This is beautiful..no chef could produce something so exquite and fresh berries that are full and juicy like none other..Love this and the picture is perfect.. God bless.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Janie, thanks so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
lennis
 
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This is excellent work. I love poems about nature and this one certainly fits that bill. The meter and rhyme are consistent, providing the reader with a satisfying rhythm. There are no forced choices here, in order to meet that rhythm; something that makes a good poem excellent. Very good work!


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    lennis, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
rhymster
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This is a delicious posting all the way around, Brooke. When we had some acreage years ago with woods, there were a lot of blackberry bushes and I was surprised to learn how much the foxes liked to eat them, too. Plump berries are obviously an animalistic delight! LOL Josie :>


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Josie, thank you so very much, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment by
Eleanor Buron
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I'd go horseback riding and knew exactly where to find the berries - plump off the vine. This poem brought back pleasant memories. You turn your phrases perfectly and none of your lines ever preach. The mood created by this poem is wonderfully uplifting and Spring-like. And your rhymes fall naturally, none forced.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
    Eleanor, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke

reply by Eleanor Buron on 21-Feb-2012
    You are very welcome. Elly
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