Annie
496 words
Pays: 10 points.
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Reviews from
A ROUGH BEGINNING


Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Chapter Five - Part One"

Irish immigrants seeking a new life in the USA.

  75 total reviews 
Comment by
stauros777
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Excellent
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You write very well about this period. Your dialect is very authentic and the interplay between the characters seems very real. I really liked the line where the little girl asked if she would ever be as strong and old as her aunt and grandma. Nice work.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Stauros. Charlie
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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  Rank:  5
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 Rank:  42
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
CHAPTER NINETEEN; PART FOUR
The men travel further into the tunnel.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#5 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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I think you are doing a good job with the Irish brogue. I found your chapter to be very realistic. You are doing a great job. I think this is your best novel to date.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Barbara. Charlie
Comment by
despiser
Read between
the lines
 
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  Rank:  492
 
Excellent
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Good story Charlie. Dialog is creative, believable (at least for the era), and easy to follow.
I think five-year old should have a hyphen like this.
Also, Not sure what the ' is for in:
"Yeh know what I be sayin'?"

-D


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, D. Charlie
Comment by
James McCorkle
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Yes Sir. That is the old fashioned way of bringing up a child, and teaching all the valuable lessons at the same time. How to mind your manners. How to be polite, and how to grow up into a mature and sensible adult. Given love and carefull attention throughout the youngest most appreciative days where lessons are learned and remembered. Parents nowadays leave the television and other electronic gizmo's to do the teaching about life as seen nowadays, and it fails miserably. James McCorkle.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review, comments and stars, James. Charlie

reply by James McCorkle on 29-Jan-2012
    O.K. Charlie. You did the job correctly. james
Comment by
Gungalo
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  Rank:  2
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 Rank:  14
 

#2 Ranked Poet
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Wow Charlie, this is a lesson in proper behavior!!Though Caitlyn be small she has already learned the basics. That's something that our mothers of today have trouble with. Manners.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Gungalo. Charlie

reply by Gungalo on 29-Jan-2012
    Smiles.
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