Fashion Wars
Pre-Prada. 100 words 		Pays: 10 points.
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A ROUGH BEGINNING


Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Chapter Five - Part One"

Irish immigrants seeking a new life in the USA.

  75 total reviews 
Comment by
rashi kumar
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  1766
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wonderful story, Charlie!
the strong bond always helps.
The story has been advanced with very interesting and realistic dialogues,
the women characters have actually excelled here,
very interesting! I loved the part where Kathleen offered her hand to Caitlin- lets be goin downstairs! Sweet!


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Rashil Charlie
Comment by
dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  34
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  36 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  75 (+1)
Script Rating
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  Rank:  132
 

#7 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a good chapter, and well describes the life of a child in those days when they were expected to behave. Again, dialects are not easy for me. From what I have read, I think you are doing a fine job!!! Debbie


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Debbie. Charlie
Comment by
Rdfrdmom2
Rdfrdmom2
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  187
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  112
Review Stars
  Rank:  613
 
Excellent
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Charlie:

Hyperactivity didn't just start in the 2000s, that's
for sure! Caitlin sounds a bit like my granddaughter,
or maybe I should say my granddaughter sounds a bit
like Caitlin. She has real problems with impulse
control, too -- LOL!

thanks for sharing
love,
jan


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Jan. Charlie
Comment by
jadapenn
Premier Author
Just do it!
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  596
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  57 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  1095
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Charlie, this is such a loving scene of our boisterous little girl. She is loaded with energy. Geez, did she have to start schooling so soon. Well written chapter which I thoroughly enjoyed. luv jada


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Jada. Charlie
Comment by
Dave M
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  Rank:  253
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  Rank:  76
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  Rank:  1454
 
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Charlie,

This is an excellent chapter about Jo's happy childhood. I would suppose that she survived the orphanage and her uncles because she remembered that she had been loved and respected.

I enjoyed this read and have a couple of suggestions:

"Brianna's children will be making better role models [examples] for her." The phrase "role models" is pretty recent. I don't think a nineteenth-century woman would use it.

""My, you'll [you're] getting to be a big girl."

Dave


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Dave. Charlie
Comment by
bhogg
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  538
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  87
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  25
Review Stars
  Rank:  181
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Charlie - a six for you, because for me you've stretched a wee bit laddie and pulled it off remarkably well. I enjoy your story. Bill


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review, comments and stars, Bill. Charlie
Comment by
Rama Rao
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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I was away for two weeks and missed some parts. However, I get the drift of what's happening.
It's excellent as usual.
A few points merit your attention.
1.Once gathered, she swept it onto a metal dust pan and emptied it into the trash barrel.- once they were gathered,
2.Mrs. Kennedy sat in her wheelchair at the table, drinking her special tea, returned her greeting. Mrs. Kennedy sitting in the wheel chair and drinking her tea, returned her greeting- for parallelism.



 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Rama. Charlie
Comment by
barkingdog
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Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  2
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Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 

#2 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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Caitlin is so sweet and such a live-wire. I love the energy that you've shown between her and her mother. They have a strong bonded, and Kathleen is teaching Caitlin some serious lessons in safety and manners.
Your dialogue is charming and the plot is developing nicely.
Under lying philosophy like: This is America. Yeh can be whatever you want to be.
and
the friendship of all these women
are what will shape this little cracker-jack into a dynamic woman.
Great human interaction. Honest and warm.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Ellen. Charlie
Comment by
The Stranger
 
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Well I am still getting all the enjoyment from reading your story, but I would say, look out for a reviewer named Janice66 or something along those lines, as she does not understand the use of "dialect"....lol!!


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Stranger. Charlie
Comment by
cvcopac
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  125
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  160
 
Excellent
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Another ringer c_L. I must have missed a chapter or two as Catlin has grown considerably. I went through this part line by line and didn't find any errors.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Cvcopac. You haven't missed any chapters. Charlie
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The Master's Rise
tribute to da f_n man


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