Reviews from

A ROUGH BEGINNING

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Chapter Five - Part One"
Irish immigrants seeking a new life in the USA.

75 total reviews 
Comment from rashi kumar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wonderful story, Charlie!
the strong bond always helps.
The story has been advanced with very interesting and realistic dialogues,
the women characters have actually excelled here,
very interesting! I loved the part where Kathleen offered her hand to Caitlin- lets be goin downstairs! Sweet!

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Rashil Charlie
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a good chapter, and well describes the life of a child in those days when they were expected to behave. Again, dialects are not easy for me. From what I have read, I think you are doing a fine job!!! Debbie

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Debbie. Charlie
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Charlie:

Hyperactivity didn't just start in the 2000s, that's
for sure! Caitlin sounds a bit like my granddaughter,
or maybe I should say my granddaughter sounds a bit
like Caitlin. She has real problems with impulse
control, too -- LOL!

thanks for sharing
love,
jan

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Jan. Charlie
Comment from jadapenn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Charlie, this is such a loving scene of our boisterous little girl. She is loaded with energy. Geez, did she have to start schooling so soon. Well written chapter which I thoroughly enjoyed. luv jada

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Jada. Charlie
Comment from Dave M
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Charlie,

This is an excellent chapter about Jo's happy childhood. I would suppose that she survived the orphanage and her uncles because she remembered that she had been loved and respected.

I enjoyed this read and have a couple of suggestions:

"Brianna's children will be making better role models [examples] for her." The phrase "role models" is pretty recent. I don't think a nineteenth-century woman would use it.

""My, you'll [you're] getting to be a big girl."

Dave

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Dave. Charlie
Comment from bhogg
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Charlie - a six for you, because for me you've stretched a wee bit laddie and pulled it off remarkably well. I enjoy your story. Bill

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review, comments and stars, Bill. Charlie
Comment from Rama Rao
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was away for two weeks and missed some parts. However, I get the drift of what's happening.
It's excellent as usual.
A few points merit your attention.
1.Once gathered, she swept it onto a metal dust pan and emptied it into the trash barrel.- once they were gathered,
2.Mrs. Kennedy sat in her wheelchair at the table, drinking her special tea, returned her greeting. Mrs. Kennedy sitting in the wheel chair and drinking her tea, returned her greeting- for parallelism.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Rama. Charlie
Comment from barkingdog
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Caitlin is so sweet and such a live-wire. I love the energy that you've shown between her and her mother. They have a strong bonded, and Kathleen is teaching Caitlin some serious lessons in safety and manners.
Your dialogue is charming and the plot is developing nicely.
Under lying philosophy like: This is America. Yeh can be whatever you want to be.
and
the friendship of all these women
are what will shape this little cracker-jack into a dynamic woman.
Great human interaction. Honest and warm.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Ellen. Charlie
Comment from The Stranger
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well I am still getting all the enjoyment from reading your story, but I would say, look out for a reviewer named Janice66 or something along those lines, as she does not understand the use of "dialect"....lol!!

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Stranger. Charlie
Comment from cvcopac
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another ringer c_L. I must have missed a chapter or two as Catlin has grown considerably. I went through this part line by line and didn't find any errors.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Cvcopac. You haven't missed any chapters. Charlie