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A ROUGH BEGINNING


Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Chapter Five - Part One"

Irish immigrants seeking a new life in the USA.

  75 total reviews 
Comment by
Avril Borthiry
Inspiration
is all around us
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  274
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  22 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  21
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  Rank:  132
 
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Caitlin's a sweetie! You're creating some lovely characters. The dialogue and interaction is wonderful, Charlie.

In Ireland, though, little kids say 'mammy' not mum. Especially back then. They do in Wales and northern England too. I did!

"Help! It be wantin' t' be eatin' me alive()!"

Av


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Avril. I will check it out, but I have one problem. "Mammy is a term of endurment with the blacks." Charlie
Comment by
rheabug
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  918
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I really can't say enough good things about your ongoing book. When are you going to publish or have you already? Thank you so much for sharing, Linda


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review, comments and stars Linda. I am still writing the book. Charlie
Comment by
pickthorn
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I've been away for awhile, Charlie, I've missed your last few chapters. Tell me, is Caitlin Anna Wiley and Jo Ann Wiley the same person? Not much killin' going on in this chapter but you have that Irish brogue down pat. Great story.


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Pick. Yes, Caitlin will assumme the name Jo Ann Wiley when she becomes an orphan. Charlie
Comment by
humpwhistle
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  Rank:  352 (+1)
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  Rank:  2
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  Rank:  111
 

#2 Ranked Author
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Charlies, this is a nice little domestic slice of life in the Irish slums of NYC. Your dialogue is
believable, and appears to be authentic.
You share many details of child rearing in the
19th century. I won't you ask if you were there.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Lee. Research. Charlie
Comment by
peggles
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This was another engaging and interesting chapter to your fine story
I know that it is heading towards it's close to end
I shall be sorry to see this but I am sure you will give us some more pleasurable reading before then
Looking forward to the next chapter


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Peggles. Charlie
Comment by
2008, 2011 and 2012 Novelist Of The Year
Margaret Snowdon
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#1 Ranked Novelist!
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A most enjoyable chapter..
very descriptive and true
to life - and I love
the picture..

Well penned, Charlie.

Margaret


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Margaret. Charlie
Comment by
keimosobie
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Tim
 
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Sorry bieng a yank this irish brog thing is not my specialty. I did enjoy your chapter. I like the way you correct the little girls manners frequently. You don't see that much any more. I didnt see any errors. Thanks for the write.


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Keimosobie. Charlie
Comment by
dhee khaye
 
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I think this is the first time that i meet your story, although I have not read your first chapter, this one gave me some clue on what message your story want to emphasize, I love the smooth flow of some scenes, the picture that you put in heart struct and caught my heart and eyes. Thank you for sharing.

dhee


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Dhee. Charlie
Comment by
irishauthorme
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This is a great picture of a typical morning for your characters, the porridge, Caitlin woofing her breakfast dwon and being in such a hurry that she dropped her glass and broke it. It is an Irish thing to pick up the kids and turn them upside down or swing them around, I remember.
Great dialogue, emotional and right to the point.
Good chapter, irish


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Irish. Charlie
Comment by
MumEsGirl
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  Rank:  217
 

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Begorrah Charlie shure you yeh be doing mighty work on this one.

Love the image, sort of brings the story to life a bit more.

I have one comment though. This is not a correction though. Caitlin is a relatively new name. It is actually a mis pronounciation of the gaelic for Kathleen. Caithlin. It is just one of my picky points lol

kate


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2012


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    Thank you for your review and comments, Kate. I found it under gaelic girl's namer.

reply by MumEsGirl on 30-Jan-2012
    Fascinating Charlie maybe I am wrong,must take a look.

reply by MumEsGirl on 30-Jan-2012
    As I say Charlie it is just my gripe. lol

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
    I'm going to double check it tonight.
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To Be Or Not To Be
Rhyming quatrains


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