Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Part three, Chapter 8"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
87 total reviews
Comment from MelB
Classic parents of an abuser. It's never there little baby's fault. It's always someone else. Shows you don't have to look hard to figure out where Bobby became like he is.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Classic parents of an abuser. It's never there little baby's fault. It's always someone else. Shows you don't have to look hard to figure out where Bobby became like he is.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Parents are often enablers. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Okay, I know this inappropriate considering the subject. But I so want to smack the crap out of Bobby's mother. She sounds like the abuser in the family, and Bobby sure learned well from her. I don't know if I can get through another chapter with her and not break my laptop. Grrrrrr.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Okay, I know this inappropriate considering the subject. But I so want to smack the crap out of Bobby's mother. She sounds like the abuser in the family, and Bobby sure learned well from her. I don't know if I can get through another chapter with her and not break my laptop. Grrrrrr.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from rzubey
I had totally forgotten about Bobby's parents. Crap. I hope that Anna can stand up to them. I really do. I'm glad that the attorney realized that Bobby didn't tell him the whole truth and that he didn't do anything to hurt Anna. Now I'm worried that the parents are going to cause trouble for Anna and break her down. Hope not. I'm looking forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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I had totally forgotten about Bobby's parents. Crap. I hope that Anna can stand up to them. I really do. I'm glad that the attorney realized that Bobby didn't tell him the whole truth and that he didn't do anything to hurt Anna. Now I'm worried that the parents are going to cause trouble for Anna and break her down. Hope not. I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Anna walked in, turned white, and rubbed her hand against the indent[at]ion in the wall her head had made. Splattered blood stains remained beside it. --- Pictures of this would be part of the evidence against Bobby in his criial trial.
Paul walked toward the kitchen and picked up a shattered medicine bottle. "Antibiotics for Michael's ear infection?" --- More pictures for trial. In fact, that shouldn't be there. They would have scooped it up and put it in an evidence bag. Oh, it presents one more charge against Bobby--I'd forgotten about that. It would be medical neglect and endangering a child's health.
The officer picked up a ripped[,] blood-covered blouse and studied it. --- More evidence that shouldn't be there because the police should have collected it.
Anna watched a few moments [and] then said, --- I've been debating whether to mention "then." It is not a conjunction. If what comes before and after it are two complete sentences, you can end the previous one with a period and capitalize "then" to start a new one. Otherwise, it almost always takes an "and."
A large bloodstain on the carpet caught everybody's attention. --- More pictures for evidence at the trial. Sometimes they even cut out the bloody carpet but maybe that's only in murder cases. Also, I thought they sent in a special cleanup crew but maybe that's only in murder cases, too. Maybe you can find someone local to answer that.
With all this evidence that's piling up against Bobby, no divorce lawyer would even let him ask for custody. the law said that custody is based on what's in the child's best interest and no one could make a case that it's in Michael's best interest for Bobby to have custody.
"Mrs. Rodgers, what are you doing here?" Anna turned toward Paul. "Mr. Sorenson, I would like you to meet Bobby's mother." She glanced down the hall. "His father, Sam Rodgers." --- Wait a minute! Who died and left bobby the business and the house?
There is a police officer with them. Bobby's attorney and the police officer would ask his parents to leave. That is why the officer is there--to keep the peace, and they sure aren't being peaceful.
Roberta
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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Anna walked in, turned white, and rubbed her hand against the indent[at]ion in the wall her head had made. Splattered blood stains remained beside it. --- Pictures of this would be part of the evidence against Bobby in his criial trial.
Paul walked toward the kitchen and picked up a shattered medicine bottle. "Antibiotics for Michael's ear infection?" --- More pictures for trial. In fact, that shouldn't be there. They would have scooped it up and put it in an evidence bag. Oh, it presents one more charge against Bobby--I'd forgotten about that. It would be medical neglect and endangering a child's health.
The officer picked up a ripped[,] blood-covered blouse and studied it. --- More evidence that shouldn't be there because the police should have collected it.
Anna watched a few moments [and] then said, --- I've been debating whether to mention "then." It is not a conjunction. If what comes before and after it are two complete sentences, you can end the previous one with a period and capitalize "then" to start a new one. Otherwise, it almost always takes an "and."
A large bloodstain on the carpet caught everybody's attention. --- More pictures for evidence at the trial. Sometimes they even cut out the bloody carpet but maybe that's only in murder cases. Also, I thought they sent in a special cleanup crew but maybe that's only in murder cases, too. Maybe you can find someone local to answer that.
With all this evidence that's piling up against Bobby, no divorce lawyer would even let him ask for custody. the law said that custody is based on what's in the child's best interest and no one could make a case that it's in Michael's best interest for Bobby to have custody.
"Mrs. Rodgers, what are you doing here?" Anna turned toward Paul. "Mr. Sorenson, I would like you to meet Bobby's mother." She glanced down the hall. "His father, Sam Rodgers." --- Wait a minute! Who died and left bobby the business and the house?
There is a police officer with them. Bobby's attorney and the police officer would ask his parents to leave. That is why the officer is there--to keep the peace, and they sure aren't being peaceful.
Roberta
Comment Written 17-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2011
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In a later chapter, I encluded the photos at the trial.
Comment from bhogg
Hi Barbara - I sure am ready for the happy stuff to follow. You've written to your usual high standard. A great mixture of dialog and narrative as you continue your painful story. Always warm regards, Bill
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Hi Barbara - I sure am ready for the happy stuff to follow. You've written to your usual high standard. A great mixture of dialog and narrative as you continue your painful story. Always warm regards, Bill
Comment Written 14-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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I have missed you. Is everything okay? I appreciate your kind reviwe.
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Just busy, busy. My wife and I have three parents still alive and one aunt, all over 84. It's one thing after another. Just part of life. I hope you are well!
Comment from ReaThomas
A very touching portrayal of an abused woman, Barbara. I feel empathy for Anna while reading this, which I think is important in a story such as this one. The dialogue is very believable. I think what makes this so good is that it is a reality for too many women.
Rea x
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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A very touching portrayal of an abused woman, Barbara. I feel empathy for Anna while reading this, which I think is important in a story such as this one. The dialogue is very believable. I think what makes this so good is that it is a reality for too many women.
Rea x
Comment Written 14-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Aislinge
Well done, Barbara! Very effective use of the details of the setting triggering Anna's memories. The dent in the wall, the bloodstains, and the gouge in the floor are very effective at illustrating the violence against Anna without overdoing it. The appearance of Bobby's parents adds a nice 'alcohol in the cut' effect. The difference between Bobby's father and his mother also hints at conflict between them.
Thank you for a great read!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Well done, Barbara! Very effective use of the details of the setting triggering Anna's memories. The dent in the wall, the bloodstains, and the gouge in the floor are very effective at illustrating the violence against Anna without overdoing it. The appearance of Bobby's parents adds a nice 'alcohol in the cut' effect. The difference between Bobby's father and his mother also hints at conflict between them.
Thank you for a great read!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
WELCOME HOME FROM VACATION BARBARA!
THIS CHAPTER HAS LOT OF ACTION! AS USUAL IT'S VERY WELL WRITTEN. YOUR STORY IS EYE OPENING AND I'M ENJOYING TREMENDOUSLY.
GREAT JOB!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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WELCOME HOME FROM VACATION BARBARA!
THIS CHAPTER HAS LOT OF ACTION! AS USUAL IT'S VERY WELL WRITTEN. YOUR STORY IS EYE OPENING AND I'M ENJOYING TREMENDOUSLY.
GREAT JOB!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Siddhartha Jatana
Wow!
What a wonderfully didactic piece!
Loved the flavor and the theme of the piece...
Good flow and effective style...
Absolutely impressive...
Keep it up!
God bless ya!
Love and Regards,
Sid
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Wow!
What a wonderfully didactic piece!
Loved the flavor and the theme of the piece...
Good flow and effective style...
Absolutely impressive...
Keep it up!
God bless ya!
Love and Regards,
Sid
Comment Written 14-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jclark
Good chapter. I got worked up reading the comments his mother was making. You really do a great job of bringing life to your characters. I felt sympathy, anger and fear just from reading your well written dialogue.
Judy
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2011
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Good chapter. I got worked up reading the comments his mother was making. You really do a great job of bringing life to your characters. I felt sympathy, anger and fear just from reading your well written dialogue.
Judy
Comment Written 13-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
