Where Did Susan Go?
Lost inside.37 total reviews
Comment from Narvik
Susan, I wrote a long review on this piece at my work and I don't know what happened but now I see it didn't post.
From our contact on Fanstory, I know you're a valuable person and you've had difficulties you feel are insurmountable.
This was probably the most chilling thing I've read on Fanstory. The graphic passages were almost too much to bear.
Your judgment is flawed, Susan. Somewhere along the line, you got your self worth mixed up with what some other people said. You have a lot more support than you acknowledge, but you have obviously trusted people who were merely selfish.
I know it's easy for me and others to sit here and say you just have to learn to deal with it, etc. but only you are you so only you know what you're going through. But being a martyr never works. You think you're selfish if you put yourself first? The people who say that are the ones who want to just use you. Isn't it nice for them to have someone who'll care about them and they won't have to care in return? They don't deserve you.
When you think "Why can't I be like other people", if you look around, you'll see other people aren't like other people either. Some are just better at hiding it than others.
I'm no psychologist, but I've been through a lot in my life. I've been in jail several times, I've been married four times, I lost custody of my kids due to my stupidity, I've been destitute. But I've always had myself. And you have yourself. And you only seem to see the few assholes and not the many good people in the world. When you have 100 people saying you're great, why do you dwell on some flawed individual who says otherwise. There were critics who said Shakespeare was a bad writer. Should he have given up writing?
Anyway, hope I wasn't harsh here, but I felt I needed to say a few things. I need friends like you.
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Susan, I wrote a long review on this piece at my work and I don't know what happened but now I see it didn't post.
From our contact on Fanstory, I know you're a valuable person and you've had difficulties you feel are insurmountable.
This was probably the most chilling thing I've read on Fanstory. The graphic passages were almost too much to bear.
Your judgment is flawed, Susan. Somewhere along the line, you got your self worth mixed up with what some other people said. You have a lot more support than you acknowledge, but you have obviously trusted people who were merely selfish.
I know it's easy for me and others to sit here and say you just have to learn to deal with it, etc. but only you are you so only you know what you're going through. But being a martyr never works. You think you're selfish if you put yourself first? The people who say that are the ones who want to just use you. Isn't it nice for them to have someone who'll care about them and they won't have to care in return? They don't deserve you.
When you think "Why can't I be like other people", if you look around, you'll see other people aren't like other people either. Some are just better at hiding it than others.
I'm no psychologist, but I've been through a lot in my life. I've been in jail several times, I've been married four times, I lost custody of my kids due to my stupidity, I've been destitute. But I've always had myself. And you have yourself. And you only seem to see the few assholes and not the many good people in the world. When you have 100 people saying you're great, why do you dwell on some flawed individual who says otherwise. There were critics who said Shakespeare was a bad writer. Should he have given up writing?
Anyway, hope I wasn't harsh here, but I felt I needed to say a few things. I need friends like you.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2011
Comment from Gungalo
Love how you pulled the story from that pic you. Inspiration comes from where it may and this one came from the mind of a great writer. Awesome storyline, except I think you should rethink this one line portion:
by, unwittingly ignoring the empty shell; the thing that used to be full of life and love.
All the way up to this part, love or having it is never mentioned so this is really a conundrum to the readers.
Wonderful tale and fantastic closing lines!!!
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Love how you pulled the story from that pic you. Inspiration comes from where it may and this one came from the mind of a great writer. Awesome storyline, except I think you should rethink this one line portion:
by, unwittingly ignoring the empty shell; the thing that used to be full of life and love.
All the way up to this part, love or having it is never mentioned so this is really a conundrum to the readers.
Wonderful tale and fantastic closing lines!!!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2011
Comment from anne1204
A story written with tremendous emotion and great description of the despair of a human being. I sincerely hope this is a work of fiction. I would miss Susan very much. Great writing. Anne
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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A story written with tremendous emotion and great description of the despair of a human being. I sincerely hope this is a work of fiction. I would miss Susan very much. Great writing. Anne
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Hi Anne! I am very down right now...so many things wrong...but will keep at it. This story is just my way of 'venting' my feelings of frustration...tho, there are times, I swear...and thank you so very much for this kind and wonderful review. Luv you! Susan
Comment from Ted T
Hi Susan :)
This is a very depressing, sad story. I hope it's just well written fiction and has no truth whatsoever.
There is always hope and help is a phone call away for professional services.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If this story is where you really are, then you must seek help.
Ted
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi Susan :)
This is a very depressing, sad story. I hope it's just well written fiction and has no truth whatsoever.
There is always hope and help is a phone call away for professional services.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If this story is where you really are, then you must seek help.
Ted
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi Ted...I am sorry for another sadsack tale...it does help me to write about these things in times of intense stress. I am going thru a lot, and there are times I have a hard time handling it all. I watched a nature show about the wolves of Yellowstone. A buffalo became stuck in the mud on the edge of a lake and the wolves just methodically tore at her and ate her alive. I am that buffalo, and I am slowly bleeding to death as the wolves tear my flesh away. I do apologize...This battle is going to be a long one. And I do thank you Ted, for reading and taking a minute for me...your friend, susan
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Hang in there and try to fight back.
Ted
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Hi Ted, I am...I try to remember that there are MANY who are so much worse off. But it's hard. Thank you for thinking of me, Ted... Susan
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You're welcome :)
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hello, my friend. What a powerful story you've written here. I sense that you know whereof you speak, and that to a small degree this is your own story only you chose the high road. The story was very visceral which kept my interest throughout and your final line is a real winner. Warmest regards, Bev
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hello, my friend. What a powerful story you've written here. I sense that you know whereof you speak, and that to a small degree this is your own story only you chose the high road. The story was very visceral which kept my interest throughout and your final line is a real winner. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi Bev...thank you very much. I am trying to be positive...but at times I do have to let it out as they say. It helps to have you here to give me a kind word...you are a wonderful fanfriend! xoxo, susan
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It's a real honor to support such fine work and such a lovely person. All my best buddy, Bev
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What a nice thing to say Bev...you have cheered me up some today...hugs! xoxo, susan
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Great! Hugs to you also Susan.
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I needed that! xoxo..s.
Comment from fluffnstuff
wow...just take my breath away why don't you. i can plainly see why you are now ranked number two...and that is about all i have to say on that. you've reached a very personal goal i hope. your words and ideas to match are indescribable. excellent.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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wow...just take my breath away why don't you. i can plainly see why you are now ranked number two...and that is about all i have to say on that. you've reached a very personal goal i hope. your words and ideas to match are indescribable. excellent.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi Dianne...thank you so much. Your kind review is a little bright spot in an otherwise gray day...hugs and love, susan
Comment from Carrie Smith
Suse, this is chillingly graphic, making my skin crawl. The horror of that poor girl's last hours were really hard to read. A suburb job. It's not a poem, but you'll have to be a member in Gungalo's dark club now! luv...Susan
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Suse, this is chillingly graphic, making my skin crawl. The horror of that poor girl's last hours were really hard to read. A suburb job. It's not a poem, but you'll have to be a member in Gungalo's dark club now! luv...Susan
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi Susan...I'm in my own club...locking myself in my own dungeon. Seems there is just no light anymore. Thank you for this great review tho, you know I so appreciate this. xoxo, susan
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Susan,You've just got to try and be a little more positive. I know things are in a real upheaval for you right now and I just wish I could help.If you keep on worrying you're going to make youself sick. I really don't mean to be nosy, but is there more going on then I know about? You know you can talk to me about anything. Why not try to get a little alone time each day and write or simply go out side for a little while some. I think that so much has been pulling you in different directions, you have just gotten completely in over load. That poem you wrote about Susan really worried me. You PM me any time you just want to vent or call at anytime if things just get too rough for you. Write a poem or little story for me about our friendship. That would mean a lot to me. Hang in there sweet Suse...Hugs Susan
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Hi there Susan...I am going to see a house today...I will try to write tonight? Maybe! Even if I don't do it now, I will write something about us? What a grand idea! Thanks! I am just so tired, I am typing real slow...this is just wrong the way I feel...xoxo, susan
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It is wrong the way you feel!!! Life is just to short. Do write something about us - that would be so neat! Good luck on the house - don't forget to take a walk every now and then, even for just 15 minutes or just sit on the ground and enjoy looking around you! Stay in touch, Sweet Suse...xoxoSusan
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
HI GREETINGS FROM Cyprus I'm SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN IN TOUCH. I LOVE THE EMOTION IN THIS STORY BUT I SERIOUSLY HOPE IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. PLEASE DON'T DESPAIR WE ALL LOVE YOU ON FAN STORY. A GOOD WRITE. I WILL BE BACK ON Tuesday DOING MY REGULAR. Mary
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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HI GREETINGS FROM Cyprus I'm SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN IN TOUCH. I LOVE THE EMOTION IN THIS STORY BUT I SERIOUSLY HOPE IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. PLEASE DON'T DESPAIR WE ALL LOVE YOU ON FAN STORY. A GOOD WRITE. I WILL BE BACK ON Tuesday DOING MY REGULAR. Mary
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi again Mary! Thank you...I just get down and have to write about things...it helps me get past the dark corners that need some sunshine. I am so grateful for your friendship. I really am. You and everyone here...xoxo, susan
Comment from Dom G Robles
A pathetic story of a lady, Susan, who who felt so despondent that she no longer had desire to live. She was angry at the world. and so she ended her life by trying to go to a river through her car. Parking her car close to a river. While walking to the river, she fell along the way. Struggling now and almost on the verge of death, she realized her own mistakes--the beauty that was hope...but it was too late. I am moved by the last part of the story where the writer says, "Almost afraid to look, the sun peeked around the springtime clouds as a small boy peddled (pedaled) his bicycle down the dirt road, following his dog to the place where Susan went."
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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A pathetic story of a lady, Susan, who who felt so despondent that she no longer had desire to live. She was angry at the world. and so she ended her life by trying to go to a river through her car. Parking her car close to a river. While walking to the river, she fell along the way. Struggling now and almost on the verge of death, she realized her own mistakes--the beauty that was hope...but it was too late. I am moved by the last part of the story where the writer says, "Almost afraid to look, the sun peeked around the springtime clouds as a small boy peddled (pedaled) his bicycle down the dirt road, following his dog to the place where Susan went."
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi Dom, I am sorry this is so down. It helps me a lot to be able to have a place like FS to vent and get it out. I am grateful for your kind review and time for me...susan
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You are always welcome. Dom
Comment from animatqua
I think this is an excellent depiction of ultimate despair. That said, I would suggest you look at this paragraph: She had never been a beauty, but was attractive enough. Just enough to be used, and tossed aside; not good enough to be a wife or girl-friend. Only used, abused, and thrown away.
This really gives out a message that encourages the kind of despair Susan is feeling. Why is beauty any kind of criteria for being worthy for happiness or a good relationship?
This skewed thinking is destroying thousands of young people. Undoubtedly many of them become Susan because of them.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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I think this is an excellent depiction of ultimate despair. That said, I would suggest you look at this paragraph: She had never been a beauty, but was attractive enough. Just enough to be used, and tossed aside; not good enough to be a wife or girl-friend. Only used, abused, and thrown away.
This really gives out a message that encourages the kind of despair Susan is feeling. Why is beauty any kind of criteria for being worthy for happiness or a good relationship?
This skewed thinking is destroying thousands of young people. Undoubtedly many of them become Susan because of them.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi! Thank you very much...I have had issues with my looks or lack there of, since seventh grade. But this story stems from deeper problems...and I am grateful to have FS as a 'vehicle' to write it out sort of. I so want to be happy...hugs for this kind and thoughtful review...susan
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Fanstory is great therapy, isn't it?
I've had weight issues all of my life. I also have bi-polar issues.
I understand the despair.
I guess I was fortunate enough to develop a thick hide and an attitude young in life.
I have other issues of sadness in my life, but I have never allowed `them' to make my physical appearance one of those sources of despair.
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Oh dear...I know I am not alone in this...but it sure feels like it until someone like you shares with me. I am so tired Anima...it's just overwhelming. I am so grateful for your kind words...thank you...xoxo, susan
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I think the key is in how you perceive yourself. Finding a good perspective is the hardest thing you will do when people are constantly at you.
Fanstory might be just the place for you to do this.
You obviously have a gift for writing. Focusing on that positive could be an opening for seeing other great aspects of yourself. Once you are really able to see how beautiful you are, the rest doesn't matter. When the rest doesn't matter--there you go. You are what you are, and people will go further in appreciating that.
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What nice things to say...and I will keep trying to stop this really terrible pity party...thank you for all your very heartwarming words sweet lady. YOU take care too. xoxo, susan
