The Glass Cat Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Madame Reece Meets Dr. Connelly"Talking to the dead has its consequences
38 total reviews
Comment from Dustybones
Great again. I would give you a six, but then I can only do that two times in a month. So Steve is working on his own and not with the Doc? I have to read on. I am surprised on the reviews you received, they seem too nitpicking. You got many reviews!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2013
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Great again. I would give you a six, but then I can only do that two times in a month. So Steve is working on his own and not with the Doc? I have to read on. I am surprised on the reviews you received, they seem too nitpicking. You got many reviews!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2013
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Again thank you for taking an interest in my early book.
Comment from ulster3
Hello amahra...
This was an intriguing read for which I thank you. I love reading about psychics and so on. Your style is very professional in my opinion. I have been eating some soup I made today, and now I can only think of snicker bars. LOL.
Excellent!
Fondly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Hello amahra...
This was an intriguing read for which I thank you. I love reading about psychics and so on. Your style is very professional in my opinion. I have been eating some soup I made today, and now I can only think of snicker bars. LOL.
Excellent!
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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LOL Thank you Rebecca for reading, liking and reviewing. I can't eat Snicker bars. I've lost 120 lbs (the hard way) gain 15lb after surgery and lost 2. But you have a Snicker bar on me. lol
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LOL. Glad you are over the surgery and i hope it wasn't too painful after. Hugs, Reb
Comment from Fireshadow
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Amahra, great idea to lead with the blue print ending of the first chapter. This second chapter is very well written, with excellent descriptions of setting, as well a strong characterization. The storyline is both fascinating and intriguing. I look forward to reading future installments of this story. Excellent work, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Amahra, great idea to lead with the blue print ending of the first chapter. This second chapter is very well written, with excellent descriptions of setting, as well a strong characterization. The storyline is both fascinating and intriguing. I look forward to reading future installments of this story. Excellent work, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from dportwood
amahra,
This writing is very well done and a pleasure to read since it has the ingredients of a good story presented without the encumbrance of errors and spag. well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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amahra,
This writing is very well done and a pleasure to read since it has the ingredients of a good story presented without the encumbrance of errors and spag. well done.
Duane
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you Duane. I hope you will like the others.
Comment from Gary D. Hardy
Wow! great story so far. Very desciptive and your characters well define. The read is easy flowing and the movement forward smooth and holds my attention. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Wow! great story so far. Very desciptive and your characters well define. The read is easy flowing and the movement forward smooth and holds my attention. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you Joefrank. Skip over to Chapter 3 it's very short.
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My pleasure! And I will.
Comment from wiskas677@yandex.ru
The like your story. It cooks along and draws the readers in so they want to know more. I DID find a few little things;
..., rather than rrr
number(,) at that
see...
by his collar (rather than in his collar)
that's, that
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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The like your story. It cooks along and draws the readers in so they want to know more. I DID find a few little things;
..., rather than rrr
number(,) at that
see...
by his collar (rather than in his collar)
that's, that
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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I'm not sure I follow you, but I'll check and look it over. Thanks you for reading.
Comment from Littlebook
On the whole I felt this was good.
I felt the intro - with whole families going missing was too much. At first I thought it was a satirical piece. Several people went missing would tone it down a bit, and in my humble opinion make it more plausible.
She was found nude.
Nude is a bit of a buzzword, or street term, and smacks of author intrusion, naked would be better.
During these happenings...
Sounds a tad awkward
As these events unfolded...
Finally, R ran away
Finally, is a lead in word to a sentence. It's unnecessary and slows down pace, just R ran away from home, she'd had enough of the bickering.
They didn't speak for years, until K, wanting to make peace with her only D, decided never to mention the matter again.
This is a contradiction. If they haven't spoken for years then K wouldn't have mentioned anything.
K, wanting to make piece with her only D, called R, making sure to make no mention of the events that had driven a wedge between them.
Or something like that.
I notice that you use incidental clauses a fair bit:
On the wall, encased, ...
Debbie, concerned,...
I think you can edit these out as they slow down the pace and seem a bit awkward
Encased on the wall...
Debbie gazed across the room, concern layered her face.
...Accent chairs. Next to it
It is singular, chairs are plural, Next to them was...
As you can see I love to collect things. Did a lot of collecting things...
Did a lot of colleting things sounds a bit odd, unless it's just the way he speaks... I did a lot of collecting ....
Both R and Doc sat at each end of the sofa...
Sounds a bit odd, could delete it, the piece could live without it.
They both struggled to understand one another...
Why? Were they speaking a different language?
Each struggled to understand the other's point of view.
They struggled to understand each other's point of view.
...; and they talked respectfully for over half an hour.
Sounds a bit awkward, and places a drag factor on pace.
Suppose I'd better shut up now.
I like the way you get descriptions of setting in. The dialogue is good, for the most part. But, more importantly, it is interesting, and I would read more, it's got a hook; and it's head and shoulders above some things I've seen on the front page.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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On the whole I felt this was good.
I felt the intro - with whole families going missing was too much. At first I thought it was a satirical piece. Several people went missing would tone it down a bit, and in my humble opinion make it more plausible.
She was found nude.
Nude is a bit of a buzzword, or street term, and smacks of author intrusion, naked would be better.
During these happenings...
Sounds a tad awkward
As these events unfolded...
Finally, R ran away
Finally, is a lead in word to a sentence. It's unnecessary and slows down pace, just R ran away from home, she'd had enough of the bickering.
They didn't speak for years, until K, wanting to make peace with her only D, decided never to mention the matter again.
This is a contradiction. If they haven't spoken for years then K wouldn't have mentioned anything.
K, wanting to make piece with her only D, called R, making sure to make no mention of the events that had driven a wedge between them.
Or something like that.
I notice that you use incidental clauses a fair bit:
On the wall, encased, ...
Debbie, concerned,...
I think you can edit these out as they slow down the pace and seem a bit awkward
Encased on the wall...
Debbie gazed across the room, concern layered her face.
...Accent chairs. Next to it
It is singular, chairs are plural, Next to them was...
As you can see I love to collect things. Did a lot of collecting things...
Did a lot of colleting things sounds a bit odd, unless it's just the way he speaks... I did a lot of collecting ....
Both R and Doc sat at each end of the sofa...
Sounds a bit odd, could delete it, the piece could live without it.
They both struggled to understand one another...
Why? Were they speaking a different language?
Each struggled to understand the other's point of view.
They struggled to understand each other's point of view.
...; and they talked respectfully for over half an hour.
Sounds a bit awkward, and places a drag factor on pace.
Suppose I'd better shut up now.
I like the way you get descriptions of setting in. The dialogue is good, for the most part. But, more importantly, it is interesting, and I would read more, it's got a hook; and it's head and shoulders above some things I've seen on the front page.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thanks for reading, however, you never use each when writing of just two people. Two people: one another/ More than two: each other. The one you suggest is grammatically incorrect.
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Yes, but I did put another suggestion - They struggled to understind each other's point of view.
Although the one that started _ Each - was in my opining ok, it got past the grammer check on my word-processor.
Whilst it may be a bit of a rule bender, that is ok at times. Nothing wrong with being a bit adventerous.
But aren't you just skipping over the criticism that I made re your - They both struggled to understand one another..
The point is that this sentence needs clarifying, that's the point that I was making, coming back on my review doesn't address the inital fault.
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It took me a while to understand what you were suggesting; don't know why I didn't see the errors. Will make the corrections you suggested as soon as possible. Sorry I gave you a hard time. Hope you enjoy your weeken. Blessings to you and your family.
Comment from bhogg
A great post, written with a nice pace. I enjoyed the narrative to start that really set the scene. Also appreciate the backward look to get your reader up to speed. Well done. Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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A great post, written with a nice pace. I enjoyed the narrative to start that really set the scene. Also appreciate the backward look to get your reader up to speed. Well done. Regards, Bill
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you. I'm trying to keep the chapters short only for my readers.
Comment from Cletus Hardiman
Good morning! This is a wonderful piece of literature, my friend. I enjoyed reading it very much...cannot add anything that I would change! LOL Why fool with perfection! Thanks! Clete
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Good morning! This is a wonderful piece of literature, my friend. I enjoyed reading it very much...cannot add anything that I would change! LOL Why fool with perfection! Thanks! Clete
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm keeping the chapters short so my readers can read them all. The first chapter is my longest.
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You are welcome, my friend.. Clete
Comment from The Stranger
Well amatha, I try to avoid srories as they are not my forte, but as you are a regular on my work, I thought I would have a look and I have to say that this is extremely well written, it has a good "pull" and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Well amatha, I try to avoid srories as they are not my forte, but as you are a regular on my work, I thought I would have a look and I have to say that this is extremely well written, it has a good "pull" and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 30-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2011
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Thank you. You're the reader I've been trying to get. That's why I kept the chapters really short as to not over burden you. I think I'll add that to my author notes, because a reader complained that my third chapter seemed rushed.
