Comment from chita

Excellent

Your arthor notes are superb-you have a good flow with you poem and write about circumcension that occured with Moses--great job.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Thanks for an excellent review.

Comment from laren

Excellent

An ironic poem which let us see that many of the rituals of religions are hygienic measures for survival.
It's very well written!
Congratulations!
Laren

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Thanks for understanding one of the deeper meanings of the story and for a good review.

Comment from laren

Excellent

An ironic poem which let us see that many of the rituals of religions are hygienic measures for survival.
It's very well written!
Congratulations!
Laren

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Thanks for understanding one of the deeper meanings of the poem and for a good review.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing about the circumcision, i did not know this. i wish you the best of luck in the contest

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Thanks. This is one of the lesser known stories in the Bible (and you can see why.) Thanks for a great review.

Comment from skye

Excellent

Senryu, 5-7-5, is a wonderful vehicle for condensing the essence into a short, succinct, story.
Your biblical references are strong, and clear. Circumcison hurts.
Very well done.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Thanks for a good review. Remember, 5/7/5 English syllables senryu are based on a misunderstanding of the Japanese language.

Comment from The Passenger

Good

This senryu does contain irony... almost seems like the biting edge of a dark comedy as well. Though I enjoyed it, as far as brief poetic structures go, I wish it was more dynamic.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

How would you see it being more dynamic? I am curious. Thanks for a good review.

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

mystery writer, it is hard to understand some things
in the Bible. Why would God want to kill Moses?
This is an interesting story. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Yes, this is one of the strangest stories in the Bible. Thanks for a good review.

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

The poem was good, but your notes were better yet. This was in combination was a really good presentation. It was just a delight to have read and written a review for... John

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Thanks for a good review.

Comment from MumEsGirl

Excellent

Interesting format and equally interesting poem. It certainly provides plenty for the reader to ponder.

I can not unerstand the issue of circumcision except maybe from a hygience point of view.

I wish you luck in the contest

hugs

kate

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Yes, I think there is multivalence in the story and I don't quite understand it. I do understand the hygienic part. I think I understand the covenant part. Thanks for a good review.

Comment from cheyennewy

Excellent

Hi Poet,

This senryu is different than any of the others I have read. You did a fine job of taking a Bible verse and turning it into a senryu. Well done and good luck in the contest...blessings, chey

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012

Thanks for a superb review.