The Impudence of Oranges
Reflective Autobiographical Poetry5 total reviews
Comment from Aglovale
Rating of Chapter 5 - My Minstrel's Guitar
Well to be away from fanstory for so long and then find this gem so quickly was a delight. Sad and gentle, filled with beautiful images like the guitar on velvet, the slow careful movements of your father, and the mockingbird singing, each one distinct and amazing. The worn out velvet and broken strings were for me a lovely metaphor for ageing and the sadness of death, and the way the 'blur' mentioned could be interpreted as tears or failing eyesight was wonderful. You really capture the sense of gentleness and melancholy present in a lot of my favourite poems, and the pacing and rhythm is excellent too. I could go on about it forever to be honest Jen, you may have written my favourite poem on fanstory here. Simple and elegant, sad and beautiful, and proof that you should never stop writing. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
  |
Well to be away from fanstory for so long and then find this gem so quickly was a delight. Sad and gentle, filled with beautiful images like the guitar on velvet, the slow careful movements of your father, and the mockingbird singing, each one distinct and amazing. The worn out velvet and broken strings were for me a lovely metaphor for ageing and the sadness of death, and the way the 'blur' mentioned could be interpreted as tears or failing eyesight was wonderful. You really capture the sense of gentleness and melancholy present in a lot of my favourite poems, and the pacing and rhythm is excellent too. I could go on about it forever to be honest Jen, you may have written my favourite poem on fanstory here. Simple and elegant, sad and beautiful, and proof that you should never stop writing. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
-
Thank you again. M:)
Comment from dogontherocks
Rating of Chapter 3 - Leaving
You paint a vivid picture of a mother leaving her child causing unbelievable pain, and your piece has the rhythmic, qualities associated with a poem. The structure makes sense and it flowed well. Good job MacNizzle.
reply by the author on 31-May-2011
 |
You paint a vivid picture of a mother leaving her child causing unbelievable pain, and your piece has the rhythmic, qualities associated with a poem. The structure makes sense and it flowed well. Good job MacNizzle.
Comment Written 30-May-2011
reply by the author on 31-May-2011
-
Thanks, Dog! :)
Comment from poetbear
Rating of Prologue - The Last Summer
This has so much soul in it. It is moving. Touching and caring.
Great literary and writing technique. Makes sense and reads well.
Bravo!
reply by the author on 31-May-2011
|
This has so much soul in it. It is moving. Touching and caring.
Great literary and writing technique. Makes sense and reads well.
Bravo!
Comment Written 30-May-2011
reply by the author on 31-May-2011
-
Thanks again, Poetbear :)
Comment from poetbear
Rating of Chapter 3 - Leaving
Powerful doesn't say it but poignant does.
You utilized every poetic and literary technique to fashion an original and important piece for readers and poets alike.
It makes a deeper sense and must be read.
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
|
Powerful doesn't say it but poignant does.
You utilized every poetic and literary technique to fashion an original and important piece for readers and poets alike.
It makes a deeper sense and must be read.
Comment Written 27-May-2011
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
-
Thanks again, Poetbear M:)
Comment from Diny
Rating of Prologue - Death Marbles
Cute!
Write ON- Diana
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
|
Cute!
Write ON- Diana
Comment Written 27-May-2011
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
-
Thank you. Hey how did you get around the word minimum for reviews? I wish I knew that secret...
Comment from Diny
Rating of Chapter 5 - My Minstrel's Guitar
WOW this one was so visually stimulating to me I have played Guitar since I was 9- and I bet I am sooooo rusty- have a couple of guitars who haven't seen the light of day for years!
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
|
WOW this one was so visually stimulating to me I have played Guitar since I was 9- and I bet I am sooooo rusty- have a couple of guitars who haven't seen the light of day for years!
Comment Written 27-May-2011
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
-
Thanks again, Diny M:)
Comment from Diny
Rating of Prologue - The Last Summer
He taught me a song to the tune of Jingle Bells, so simple it was that I remember it to this day. I hummed it to myself for the rest of the afternoon.
HERE- I would put in the lyrics of that song- you say you still remember it?
plus it would visually help in the formating of your story as dialogue and somngs etc, break up the monotony of the prose.
You have a talent for writing thats for sure!
You never mention the color of Muffin's skin- nor the ditty you were taught and true writing would go past limiting oneself to that
Write on-Di
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
 |
He taught me a song to the tune of Jingle Bells, so simple it was that I remember it to this day. I hummed it to myself for the rest of the afternoon.
HERE- I would put in the lyrics of that song- you say you still remember it?
plus it would visually help in the formating of your story as dialogue and somngs etc, break up the monotony of the prose.
You have a talent for writing thats for sure!
You never mention the color of Muffin's skin- nor the ditty you were taught and true writing would go past limiting oneself to that
Write on-Di
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2011
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
-
I had thought about putting the lyrics in but decided against it. I would just like that song to die along with me. Thank you for taking the time to read such a long piece and for your honest review. I truly appreciate it. jen
Comment from Diny
Rating of Chapter 3 - Leaving
very creative yes- and I hope they have been kind to you here I truly enjoy this creative approach to the poetic form- Write on and Welcome- Di
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
|
very creative yes- and I hope they have been kind to you here I truly enjoy this creative approach to the poetic form- Write on and Welcome- Di
Comment Written 27-May-2011
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
-
Thanks again! M:)
Comment from jehanned
Rating of Chapter 3 - Leaving
Ah, powerful speech about a child's view of being affected forever by adults. Sad, and yet matter-of-fact. The words are bold, and flow well in the imagery.
reply by the author on 27-May-2011
|
Ah, powerful speech about a child's view of being affected forever by adults. Sad, and yet matter-of-fact. The words are bold, and flow well in the imagery.
Comment Written 26-May-2011
reply by the author on 27-May-2011
-
Thank you for your kind words, jehanned. M:)
Comment from djuan
Rating of Chapter 3 - Leaving
Yes, free verse is most definitely poetry. If anyone ever needed proof they need look no further than this wonderful write.
I think your images and perspective are spot on for emphasizing the tone and emotions that the poem evokes. I also enjoyed your use of repetition in the second stanza. It sounds great when read out loud.
This is very solid contest entry. Good luck!
reply by the author on 24-May-2011
|
Yes, free verse is most definitely poetry. If anyone ever needed proof they need look no further than this wonderful write.
I think your images and perspective are spot on for emphasizing the tone and emotions that the poem evokes. I also enjoyed your use of repetition in the second stanza. It sounds great when read out loud.
This is very solid contest entry. Good luck!
Comment Written 24-May-2011
reply by the author on 24-May-2011
-
Thank you, djuan!
