The Impudence of Oranges
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "My Minstrel's Guitar"Reflective Autobiographical Poetry
5 total reviews
Comment from Aglovale
Well to be away from fanstory for so long and then find this gem so quickly was a delight. Sad and gentle, filled with beautiful images like the guitar on velvet, the slow careful movements of your father, and the mockingbird singing, each one distinct and amazing. The worn out velvet and broken strings were for me a lovely metaphor for ageing and the sadness of death, and the way the 'blur' mentioned could be interpreted as tears or failing eyesight was wonderful. You really capture the sense of gentleness and melancholy present in a lot of my favourite poems, and the pacing and rhythm is excellent too. I could go on about it forever to be honest Jen, you may have written my favourite poem on fanstory here. Simple and elegant, sad and beautiful, and proof that you should never stop writing. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
Well to be away from fanstory for so long and then find this gem so quickly was a delight. Sad and gentle, filled with beautiful images like the guitar on velvet, the slow careful movements of your father, and the mockingbird singing, each one distinct and amazing. The worn out velvet and broken strings were for me a lovely metaphor for ageing and the sadness of death, and the way the 'blur' mentioned could be interpreted as tears or failing eyesight was wonderful. You really capture the sense of gentleness and melancholy present in a lot of my favourite poems, and the pacing and rhythm is excellent too. I could go on about it forever to be honest Jen, you may have written my favourite poem on fanstory here. Simple and elegant, sad and beautiful, and proof that you should never stop writing. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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Thank you again. M:)
Comment from Diny
WOW this one was so visually stimulating to me I have played Guitar since I was 9- and I bet I am sooooo rusty- have a couple of guitars who haven't seen the light of day for years!
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
WOW this one was so visually stimulating to me I have played Guitar since I was 9- and I bet I am sooooo rusty- have a couple of guitars who haven't seen the light of day for years!
Comment Written 27-May-2011
reply by the author on 28-May-2011
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Thanks again, Diny M:)
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Wistful and touching...just a few points that bothered me:
his fingers done in.
* The wording of this great poem is elegant, except for this line - is there something else other than 'done in' you could say to describe his fingers - something that really catches our emotions? e.g. 'clumsy'
Through the blur he saw
* I think you need a comma after 'blur'
Only dust would touch it again.
* Perhaps at this point, 'it' could be replaced by 'the guitar' or 'the instrument' to remind us of what 'it' is.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
Wistful and touching...just a few points that bothered me:
his fingers done in.
* The wording of this great poem is elegant, except for this line - is there something else other than 'done in' you could say to describe his fingers - something that really catches our emotions? e.g. 'clumsy'
Through the blur he saw
* I think you need a comma after 'blur'
Only dust would touch it again.
* Perhaps at this point, 'it' could be replaced by 'the guitar' or 'the instrument' to remind us of what 'it' is.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thank you again for your honest feedback. i'll make some changes. hope all is well with you... :)
Comment from chita
You have a good flow with your poem and give great description and detail. I love how you describe your guitar as though it is a person and your fingers can no longer play--an excellent job.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
You have a good flow with your poem and give great description and detail. I love how you describe your guitar as though it is a person and your fingers can no longer play--an excellent job.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thanks, chita.
Comment from marcellawachtel
Very sad and very believable poem. Age does terrible things to us, and to our talents; There are always ways and places to get new strings; new fingers? not so much.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
Very sad and very believable poem. Age does terrible things to us, and to our talents; There are always ways and places to get new strings; new fingers? not so much.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thank you, marcella.