The Impudence of Oranges
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Impudence of Oranges"Reflective Autobiographical Poetry
8 total reviews
Comment from The Stranger
oranges arent the only fruit.... a nice tale of early awareness, a child see his father pick at he juices of life as he seeks to penetrate the forbidden fruit
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
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oranges arent the only fruit.... a nice tale of early awareness, a child see his father pick at he juices of life as he seeks to penetrate the forbidden fruit
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
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Thank you, Stranger :)
Comment from sidone
good flow good details poem makes its own picture keep up the good work a pleasure to read good luck blessing for sharing your poem
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
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good flow good details poem makes its own picture keep up the good work a pleasure to read good luck blessing for sharing your poem
Comment Written 07-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2011
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Thanks again, Sidone :)
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Once again, surprising poem with depth, and beautifully written. One small suggestion:
It's my turn, he said, to pick one,
* Suggest: It's your turn...... (would make more sense)
reply by the author on 17-May-2010
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Once again, surprising poem with depth, and beautifully written. One small suggestion:
It's my turn, he said, to pick one,
* Suggest: It's your turn...... (would make more sense)
Comment Written 17-May-2010
reply by the author on 17-May-2010
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noted, and I will change it...
Comment from BarnCat
You are good! This is a wonderful free verse, elevating the mundane to extraordinary. Your poem is very sensory, and your choice of orange was exceptional -- the bitter rind surrounding the sweet fruit. Your discovery of disillusionment at age five inspite of the efforts of your protector. One can create her own story within this one, delving deeper into the characters and their relationship. Really well done. Are you sending your work around? You should. Deborah
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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You are good! This is a wonderful free verse, elevating the mundane to extraordinary. Your poem is very sensory, and your choice of orange was exceptional -- the bitter rind surrounding the sweet fruit. Your discovery of disillusionment at age five inspite of the efforts of your protector. One can create her own story within this one, delving deeper into the characters and their relationship. Really well done. Are you sending your work around? You should. Deborah
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Deborah, my ego is grateful for you today! :) You have discovered the heart of it. This one and a few of the others will be published in a local college review this summer, but I've only just begun. Thank you for the excellent review... M:)
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Glad to hear it and congratulations. D
Comment from Charlene0513
To MacNizzle,
A free verse poem which has you as a child trying to impress your piers of just how big you could be as you sampled your first bite into the first one that you had picked.
Great description and recognition into the depth and importance the orange is to the human body.
Charlene
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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To MacNizzle,
A free verse poem which has you as a child trying to impress your piers of just how big you could be as you sampled your first bite into the first one that you had picked.
Great description and recognition into the depth and importance the orange is to the human body.
Charlene
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thank you, Charlene. M:)
Comment from Harrisa
I liked your poem. It made me think of picking fruits from the trees and eating them while they are as fresh as possible. The sweetness and the rich aroma is so special. But some parts are not for eating.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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I liked your poem. It made me think of picking fruits from the trees and eating them while they are as fresh as possible. The sweetness and the rich aroma is so special. But some parts are not for eating.
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thank you! M:)
Comment from Jane Spencer
I'm new at this, it was more like reading a short story. But the last part was the poem
But he was too late.
I bit into the golden rind and
found only the acrid taste
of disillusionment.
I like this part
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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I'm new at this, it was more like reading a short story. But the last part was the poem
But he was too late.
I bit into the golden rind and
found only the acrid taste
of disillusionment.
I like this part
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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Thank you, Jane. It's customary to be specific when critiquing so that the writer has feedback on just where to make improvements. I hope you enjoy this site as much as I have (I'm new to it, too). Good luck to you. M:)
Comment from Nicki_Mist
Sometimes things are not what they seem. We expect something and then it turns out so different. You showed this in your work very well. Good job and keep on writing.
Nicole
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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Sometimes things are not what they seem. We expect something and then it turns out so different. You showed this in your work very well. Good job and keep on writing.
Nicole
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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Thanks again, Nicki_Mist.
