Reviews from

Shape and Shade

remembering Mom

66 total reviews 
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, a wonderful tribute to your mother. i'm glad you had a long time with your mother. your words are a picture of her. beautiful

 Comment Written 06-May-2010


reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Thanks again for this wonderful, sparkly review. I appreciate it so much, Jude
Comment from Just2Write
Excellent
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Oh, this is such a nice tribute to your mother. As I read it, I kept thinking - yes, this is what I would say to my mother in heaven too. It is gentle and respectful, but mostly it is full of love. What better way to remember your mother on Mother's Day?

 Comment Written 06-May-2010


reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Thanks Petal! Jude
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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This is so lovely, Jude,
familiar to one you've
written before about your
mother's hands.
A wonderful tribute to your
mother.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 06-May-2010


reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Between my eyes and my hands, my mother is with me constantly.
    Her hands I see all day long (I'm looking at them now as I type)
    and her eyes, right down to the same sparkle, every time I look in the mirror ... and my smile is exactly like my dad's! Thanks Margaret, Jude
Comment from BarnCat
Excellent
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Jude, I am sure you will be awarded the truly appropriate constellation this deserves -- perhaps even the whole Milky Way. This is truly one of your best, as are all of the poems with your mother as your subject. In this one, your technical and linguistic skills craft your emotion without the bane of sentiment, and the images you choose to reflect your mom shine as she does. I loved the stanza:

You held the sun,
carried stars in your
pocket and shared
your light with all to see

though instead of the semi-colon, I would consider a dash, as I think a semi-colon is supposed to link two closely related complete sentences. Also, consider shifting the commas in the lines:

Spring has begun,
as nature renews,
speaking
of you through
my hands:
exactly like yours.

I appreciated the clever -- but not cute -- play on shine/shown/shone. There is a sophistication to it.

I envy your relationship with your mom -- and truly enjoy the the fruits of her labor. Deb


 Comment Written 06-May-2010


reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    What a wonderful review and you gave me such wonderful compliments Deb. Thank you so much, Jude
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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Oh, this is simply outstanding and endearing too. Exquisite free verse with linked imagery (literally) and fine flow as well as good intermittent rhyming.

A couple of spag nits to note-

My mirror tells me
truthfully, (no ,)
that you live on.

Spring,(no ,) has begun
as nature renews(,)
speaking
of you through
my hands,
exactly like yours.

this section is SUPERB and would stand on its own as a poem as well (though i love your mirrored mirror reference).

You held the sun,
carried stars in your
pocket and shared
your light with all to see;

especially me.
You shaped my character
and shaded my pain.
And when the time came,
bravely, you knew to
set me free.

I read this thee times.

Kudos.

Warmly, rd



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 Comment Written 06-May-2010


reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Thanks so much RD! I appreciate this wonderful review from you.
    Jude corrections made and thanks for always having my back!
reply by rama devi on 06-May-2010
    :) Happily.
Comment from rmdelta
Excellent
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Jude,

this was a beautifully written poem, my friend. An excellent contest entry, which should do nicely. I wish you the best of luck and a happy Mother's Day.

Reggie

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 Comment Written 06-May-2010


reply by the author on 06-May-2010
    Thanks so much Reggie. Jude