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66 total reviews
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
 Rank: 10 | Author Rating For Short Works
 Rank: 35 | Author Rating For Novels
| Review Stars
Rank: 3 | | | |
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Happiness only exists in the moment. | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 106 | Author Rating For Short Works
Rank: 118 | Author Rating For Novels
| Review Stars
Rank: 107 | | | |
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Comment by| 2008, 2011 and 2012 Novelist Of The Year | | | Premier Author | | | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 74 | Author Rating For Short Works
Rank: 71 | Author Rating For Novels
Rank: 1 | Review Stars
Rank: 48 | | | |
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Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
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Jude, I am sure you will be awarded the truly appropriate constellation this deserves -- perhaps even the whole Milky Way. This is truly one of your best, as are all of the poems with your mother as your subject. In this one, your technical and linguistic skills craft your emotion without the bane of sentiment, and the images you choose to reflect your mom shine as she does. I loved the stanza:
You held the sun,
carried stars in your
pocket and shared
your light with all to see
though instead of the semi-colon, I would consider a dash, as I think a semi-colon is supposed to link two closely related complete sentences. Also, consider shifting the commas in the lines:
Spring has begun,
as nature renews,
speaking
of you through
my hands:
exactly like yours.
I appreciated the clever -- but not cute -- play on shine/shown/shone. There is a sophistication to it.
I envy your relationship with your mom -- and truly enjoy the the fruits of her labor. Deb
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Comment Written 06-May-2010 |
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reply by the author on 06-May-2010
What a wonderful review and you gave me such wonderful compliments Deb. Thank you so much, Jude
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 86 | Author Rating For Short Works
| Review Stars
 Rank: 118 | | | |
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Oh, this is simply outstanding and endearing too. Exquisite free verse with linked imagery (literally) and fine flow as well as good intermittent rhyming.
A couple of spag nits to note-
My mirror tells me
truthfully, (no ,)
that you live on.
Spring,(no ,) has begun
as nature renews(,)
speaking
of you through
my hands,
exactly like yours.
this section is SUPERB and would stand on its own as a poem as well (though i love your mirrored mirror reference).
You held the sun,
carried stars in your
pocket and shared
your light with all to see;
especially me.
You shaped my character
and shaded my pain.
And when the time came,
bravely, you knew to
set me free.
I read this thee times.
Kudos.
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations. |
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Comment Written 06-May-2010 |
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reply by the author on 06-May-2010
Thanks so much RD! I appreciate this wonderful review from you.
Jude corrections made and thanks for always having my back!
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reply by rama devi on 06-May-2010
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