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Reviews from
Long Walk


A baseball story

  23 total reviews 
Comment by
Joan E.
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  61
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  98
 
Joan E. Recommends:
senryu (no punctuation)
a 5-7-5 senryu by accident
Pays:10 points
10 member cents
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I admired your recounting baseball history in your story and your use of dialog. I'm not a big baseball fan, but I recently wrote "Dodger's World," so I have a few credentials. I'm sure you are enjoying the season as much as I enjoyed your poem.


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2010
    Hi Joan. I've been a Dodger fan all of my life, dating back to when they were still in Brooklyn. They're not doing so great yet this season, but hope springs eternal for a baseball fan. Thanks for taking the time to read my story - my first attempt at flash fiction - and for sharing your nice comments. Glad you liked it.
    -Lee
Comment by
Earthwriter
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  766
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
excellent job on this piece i can tell you have a love for the game you painted a very believable story in this post well done my friend


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2010
    I do love the game, and I'm pleased that you saw that in the read. Thanks for taking the time to read the story and for sharing your kind comments.
    -Lee
Comment by
Mastery
Premier Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  55 (+2)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  328
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Lee...Hey, great story and well written. I am a baseball nut and I'll bet you are just by the jargon you use d in the writing. Bravo! Bob


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2010
    Hi Bob. Yes, I'm a baseball nut too and a lifelong (since I was about 7) Dodger fan. I also coached my son through Babe Ruth league (he went on to play 2 years of Division 1 college ball too). Thanks for the most generous 6 star review. Much appreciated.
    Be well my friend,
    -Lee

reply by Mastery on 25-Apr-2010
    LOL...I grew up on Long Island where my dad was a Yankee fan, my brothers were Giant fans and I was the only Brooklyn Dodger fan. That was in the fifties. Take care fellow fan...I wrote a poem about five yearfs ago...(still i my portfolio) called "Yesterday's Innings" Maybe you'd like to take a look sometime...Bob
Comment by
Dave-Aranda-Richards
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well I'm a baseball nut and this was very entertaining. Reminded me of Charlie Grimm when he managed the Cubs. Dizzzy Dean was pitching his first game as a Cub. The first three batters hit the first pitch for base hits. Charlie called his catcher, Gabby Hartnet to the side and asked him, "What does Dean have today?' The catcher answered, "how the hell do you want me to know, I haven't caught one yet."
Dave


 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2010
    From one baseball nut to another - thank you for the interesting and humorous story Dave, and the excellent review. I appreciate that you took the time to read and share your thoughts.
    -Lee
Comment by
Kingsland
Age is a mind set
What age is your mind set at
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  63
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  185
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You have to let the guy in that has a shot at a record. I am glad you ended this short the way that you did here.It added to the entire piece. It was just a delightful piece to have read and written a review for... John


 Comment Written 24-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2010
    Thank you John for reading my story, and for the excellent review. I'm glad you liked it.
    -Lee
Comment by
resilke
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Thank you for sharing your story. This is well written and to the point. Lots of dialogue always helps to enhance a story as you've used. Good character development. Lots of memorable moments. Good ideas. Creative. Entertaining. Keep writing. All best


 Comment Written 23-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
    Thank your for reading my story Resilke, and for sharing your thoughful comments.
    -Lee
Comment by
nancyjam
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  156 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  103
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I always wanted to know what those guys
talked about on the mound. great story,
held my interest. I like the jump from
the coach signaling the bullpen to the win
and the answer to the intrigue in the last two
lines. Good dialogue and characterization.


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
    Tahnk you for taking the time to read my story, and to share your nice commments and excellent rating NancyJam. Much appreciated.
    -Lee
Comment by
2009-2012 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  1
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Poet!
#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lee, Have you entered this in the wrong contest? - the contest directions stipulate the entire storyline should be confined to a hotel room. I like your story a lot, but either I'm missing something or you're missing something. I gave you the four because of contest rules, not because of the quality of the writing. Let me know if I'm off base ;-) Brooke :-) Rating raised to reflect the story is now just a damned good story no longer in the hotel room contest. :-)


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
    No, you're right. I entered the wrong contest (didn't read all of the rules - imagine that, a lawyer not reading the rules!)), and intend to contact Tom to get me out of it.

reply by adewpearl on 22-Apr-2010
    Well, once it's no longer in that contest, let me know and I'll be thrilled to give it a five based on its own merits. :-) I was beginning to wonder if I was crazy because I read all your other reviews and not one person said anything. I guess not reading the rules is going around! LOLOL

reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
    Thanks Brooke. I will let you know. I've already messaged Tom.
Comment by
kingskid
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi there,
Firstly what I know about baseball is dangerous, but from a story pov I know you told a well put together tale.
Your dialogue was snappy and good, you didn't pad the paragraphs and you kept my attention right to the end.
Well done. Your characters were also believable, which is excellent.
Bless you
Norms


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
    Thank you for reading the story Norms. I'm glad you liked it.
    -Lee
Comment by
rmdelta
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
leesm,

excellent story and a great contest entry, as well. Good descriptives throughout and the dialogue is terrific, realistic and believable. Well done and good luck.

Reggie


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
    Thank you Reggie for taking the time to read my story, and for sharing your comments. Much appreciated.
    -Lee
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