Thy Grace
A Crown of Sonnets78 total reviews
Comment from Fairy Fatale
A lovely piece, Alvin. I appreciate the spirit in which it was written and the lovely language. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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A lovely piece, Alvin. I appreciate the spirit in which it was written and the lovely language. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2015
Comment from sean t
It's ok. I really don't understand why this is one of the best poems. I reckon it must be because minds are limp and lazy, yearning for the easy-to-comprehend.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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It's ok. I really don't understand why this is one of the best poems. I reckon it must be because minds are limp and lazy, yearning for the easy-to-comprehend.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your review.
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I must apologize for being so rude. I was hurt by a bad review of one of my poems and I passed that negativity on to you, sorry. Thy Grace is actually a nice piece of work and inspirational, that's why it is rated as one of the best.
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Your apology is accepted.
Comment from Stacia Ann
Hi, Al. Well, first of all, I have to say I'm astonished by the craft that went into this, following the dictates of this difficult form. The theme is also appealing, the life path of the narrator and its connection to faith.
There does at a few points seem to be strange contrasts in tone: "For Thou didst set my parents' faith aflame. They finally produced a healthy son." The second sentence sounds very contemporary in contrast to the previous. A relatively minor point, however.
I also like the images of nature--of fire, mountains-that seem drawn from the Bible throughout.
Thanks for sharing this; a remarkable accomplishment.
Stacia
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2013
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Hi, Al. Well, first of all, I have to say I'm astonished by the craft that went into this, following the dictates of this difficult form. The theme is also appealing, the life path of the narrator and its connection to faith.
There does at a few points seem to be strange contrasts in tone: "For Thou didst set my parents' faith aflame. They finally produced a healthy son." The second sentence sounds very contemporary in contrast to the previous. A relatively minor point, however.
I also like the images of nature--of fire, mountains-that seem drawn from the Bible throughout.
Thanks for sharing this; a remarkable accomplishment.
Stacia
Comment Written 14-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2013
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Thanks, Stacia. I appreciate. But did you see how nit-picking Gil was in his review?
Yes, I relied on my own life and Scripture throughout the poem. Could you say a little more about the second sentence sounding contemporary? How would I write it in early modern English?
Thanks for an excellent review.
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Hi, Al. Actually I looked for and didn't see Gil's review. What screen name did he use?
As for how you would revise the sentence--because I pointed it out doesn't mean I have any idea of how to do it better:) You're the expert on early modern English. Perhaps passive voice I'm thinking: "From that flame came a healthy son?" I'm not a poet, however, so don't know if that even meets rhyme/meter requirements. Something to think about only, if you're so inclined.
Thanks again for sharing.
Stacia
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Gil Arend has changed his screen name to joelh605
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Your suggestion was good, but all the lines have to have ten syllables and your suggested line only has eight.
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As a poet, I know just enough to be dangerous, which is why I feel comfortable responding as a reader but necessarily as a critic or to offer advice for revision to anyone but the beginner. I need to take your and Brooke's classes! Something to look forward to. Have a great weekend.
Comment from Robin Gilmor
This was a class unto itself. I enjoyed reading it; however, it is not something I would enjoy writing. I am a 'gentle reader' as you say. I am very impressed with your knowledge and experience to address such an undertaking. Smooth flowing, classic presentation. Robin Gilmor :)
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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This was a class unto itself. I enjoyed reading it; however, it is not something I would enjoy writing. I am a 'gentle reader' as you say. I am very impressed with your knowledge and experience to address such an undertaking. Smooth flowing, classic presentation. Robin Gilmor :)
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2013
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Thanks for the exceptional review. I am highly honored. I look forward to having you as my student next month.
Comment from Riri Azure
An incredibly beautiful piece of work. You have encapsulated God's message of love and grace in poignant style. He sure was with you while writing this. :-)
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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An incredibly beautiful piece of work. You have encapsulated God's message of love and grace in poignant style. He sure was with you while writing this. :-)
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Thank you for an incredibly kind review. I am quite appreciative of the exceptional six star rating.
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
This was quite an achievement and it deserves 6 more stars. You certainly covered the whole spectrum of faiths without prejudice or introducing conflict. You certainly know how to write sonnets and I look forward to enjoying more of your instructions. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your contest win. Bob
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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This was quite an achievement and it deserves 6 more stars. You certainly covered the whole spectrum of faiths without prejudice or introducing conflict. You certainly know how to write sonnets and I look forward to enjoying more of your instructions. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your contest win. Bob
Comment Written 30-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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Thanks, Robert. It took me three months to write this poem. Thanks for the exceptional review.
Comment from DawnStar
Good. Solid structure and form. Good rhyme and message. I gave you 4 stars because you give value to all the world's religions...which is commendable...but give no value to half of the world. Other than as a womb, you show no value for women. If God is only male...then that limits and confines God...which cannot be done...God is ALL. If we are created in the image of God...the ultimate Creator...than God is more likely, by logic, to be female...since 99% of all creators of life on earth are female. You say women are cursed "The curse of Eve in childbirth she endured " ... how can the act of "cursing" come from a loving God?
Ask yourself this...why is the story of Eve missing from the bible (and your poem)? One of the most, if not THE most pivotal character...the accused cause of the greatest fall, never tells her story of why she choose to eat from the tree of knowledge, how she was tempted, what went through her mind....
The bible that is widely available is not the true bible. It has been highly abridged by those in power over the centuries, for their own purposes. The true bible is locked up tight in the vatican, written on the dead sea scrolls. The next oldest and most authentic version is the Ethiopian bible. They, the pope and the vatican, will not allow anyone to look at it. Why? Because the truth lies there. Truths that will rock the foundation of christianity. Truth that is dangerous to the current regime. It is the same as medieval times when the church taught a bible in latin to peasants who couldn't read....we still cant read the true bible today!!!
Check out "The Forbidden Gospels and Epistles, Complete by Archbishop Wake" , including the GOSPEL OF MARY at http://www.gutenberg.org/files/6516/6516.txt.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Good. Solid structure and form. Good rhyme and message. I gave you 4 stars because you give value to all the world's religions...which is commendable...but give no value to half of the world. Other than as a womb, you show no value for women. If God is only male...then that limits and confines God...which cannot be done...God is ALL. If we are created in the image of God...the ultimate Creator...than God is more likely, by logic, to be female...since 99% of all creators of life on earth are female. You say women are cursed "The curse of Eve in childbirth she endured " ... how can the act of "cursing" come from a loving God?
Ask yourself this...why is the story of Eve missing from the bible (and your poem)? One of the most, if not THE most pivotal character...the accused cause of the greatest fall, never tells her story of why she choose to eat from the tree of knowledge, how she was tempted, what went through her mind....
The bible that is widely available is not the true bible. It has been highly abridged by those in power over the centuries, for their own purposes. The true bible is locked up tight in the vatican, written on the dead sea scrolls. The next oldest and most authentic version is the Ethiopian bible. They, the pope and the vatican, will not allow anyone to look at it. Why? Because the truth lies there. Truths that will rock the foundation of christianity. Truth that is dangerous to the current regime. It is the same as medieval times when the church taught a bible in latin to peasants who couldn't read....we still cant read the true bible today!!!
Check out "The Forbidden Gospels and Epistles, Complete by Archbishop Wake" , including the GOSPEL OF MARY at http://www.gutenberg.org/files/6516/6516.txt.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your review.
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Just for clarification--I have accesss to the Dead Sea Scrolls here in Claremont, California. The Ancient Biblical Manuscript Center has copies of them. The originals are in Jersualem. The work you quote, The Gospel of Mary, is, I believe, a Gnostic work and Gnosticism taught that women must become male to be saved. I would be happy to discuss this with you.
Comment from misscookie
Marvelous
This is not a poem this is a book.
You did ghreat it was worth the time and effort you put into this write.
Thank you very much for sharing your God's gifted talent.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2012
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Marvelous
This is not a poem this is a book.
You did ghreat it was worth the time and effort you put into this write.
Thank you very much for sharing your God's gifted talent.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2012
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Thanks for your exceptional review. I am immensely grateful.
my pleasure.
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
A pleasure to read and I would think from the ease and style and faith a pleasure to write. A wonderful achievement and great presentation for anyone seeking a true synopsis of grace for grace without mercy and compassion is probably only wishful thinking.
Reads well, presented well, written with a vast amount knowledge and surety.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2011
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A pleasure to read and I would think from the ease and style and faith a pleasure to write. A wonderful achievement and great presentation for anyone seeking a true synopsis of grace for grace without mercy and compassion is probably only wishful thinking.
Reads well, presented well, written with a vast amount knowledge and surety.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2011
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Thanks for the exceptional review. I am quite grateful.
Comment from pattipac
Your sonnet certainly stands on its own. I liked the way you related how mankind is drawn to their creator. I thought of Psalms 139, as I read the the first section which told of your development in your mother's womb. Your background of your parents' struggle to have children and their utter faith in God's ultimate plan for their lives and your childhood faith was heartwarming. I liked the way you tell us of your feeling God's continual presence as a child. It was that presence that helped you to survive a 'wretched childhood.' In section three you give us a hint of how you found God in nature and reminded us that He is the creator of all things. You go on to tell us of your emerging faith as a young adult. I liked how you related how your faith grew by studying the Scriptures and reading the Torah. Though decedent from the Jewish faith, Jesus was rejected by his own. I also enjoy the insightful way you included other faiths and how a believing humanity come to God by different paths. I liked the way you compare the suffering poor of humanity with the proud, elite society in VI. I also like how you tell the story of Jesus's birth with Mary and the prophecy that she would deliver the Savior of the world. This tended to tie everything together with the beginning of your sonnet when you write about your birth to believing parents. I would most definitely recommend this Crown of Sonnets to others.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2011
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Your sonnet certainly stands on its own. I liked the way you related how mankind is drawn to their creator. I thought of Psalms 139, as I read the the first section which told of your development in your mother's womb. Your background of your parents' struggle to have children and their utter faith in God's ultimate plan for their lives and your childhood faith was heartwarming. I liked the way you tell us of your feeling God's continual presence as a child. It was that presence that helped you to survive a 'wretched childhood.' In section three you give us a hint of how you found God in nature and reminded us that He is the creator of all things. You go on to tell us of your emerging faith as a young adult. I liked how you related how your faith grew by studying the Scriptures and reading the Torah. Though decedent from the Jewish faith, Jesus was rejected by his own. I also enjoy the insightful way you included other faiths and how a believing humanity come to God by different paths. I liked the way you compare the suffering poor of humanity with the proud, elite society in VI. I also like how you tell the story of Jesus's birth with Mary and the prophecy that she would deliver the Savior of the world. This tended to tie everything together with the beginning of your sonnet when you write about your birth to believing parents. I would most definitely recommend this Crown of Sonnets to others.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2011
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Thank you. You are very kind. I am extremely grateful for this extraordinary reivew; you have an excellent analytical mind. Are you thinking of my course on The Bible and Poetry next month, by any chance? There are still two seats left.
