Reviews from

A Leaf on the Wind

Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "Someting's Terribly Wrong"
Autobiography of abuse

12 total reviews 
Comment from medicnate
Excellent
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Fantastic, riveting, spectacular. The story gets more and more involved. You suck your reader in and keep them glued to the pages. I think this is fantastic writing. My goodness.

~medicnate~

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2009


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2009
    Thanks. This section was hard to write because it brought back so may sad memories.
Comment from Firefly54
Excellent
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Can't give you a rating for this one for some reason. Yes, I've been through the dementia stage with two of four parents/in-laws, although both were taken by something else before it became too hopeless for them

Rated ok now :-)

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2009
    Don't know why but this happened once before. Contact the site administators and they will fix it. Dementia is a terrifying illness. For the patient and those close to them.
Comment from jodeecee
Excellent
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I knew the drill all too well, surgery to remove the lump, appointment with the oncologist,/,/and more chemotherapy.

We'll have a girls' night out. It'll be fun." (maybe just a girl's night, no out, because you're staying home?)

I told her my cancer had come back /ad//and/ Mom and I were looking for a destraction. //distraction./

when trying to make a point thinking pointing out others agreed with her wold//would/ make her more credible.

But deep inside my heart/,/ I hid the fact that I was devastated.

"Talking is good," Dr S said.
is it Dr. L / or Dr. S ?

When I asked her what he said/,/ she said, "I'm hungry, feed me."

I called Teresa. I told her I was very worried about /m/om. I /cut:I/ told her I wanted to call a truce for /m/om's sake. Teresa ignored my concerns and said I was overreacting.




 Comment Written 27-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2009
    Thanks for noticing ... Dr. S is my physician and Dr. L is my psychiatrist ... I'll go back over the chapter and make the corrections. Again, thank you fo your kind review, high rating, and welcome help.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Excellent
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Another captivating chapter, Smurphy. The reaction of Denise is so terribly insulting. I cannot even imagine it! The storyline is clear and well composed. A few nits:

I told her my cancer had come back [ad] Mom and I were looking for a [destraction]. (Should be "and" and "distraction."

Also:

Mom and I had come a long way since Ari's death. We had really begun to talk. For the first time when I asked "why" she tried answer.

(Inster the word "to" -- she tried TO answer.)

Otherwise, a terrific story. Great work!
Sincerely, Seraph

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2009
    I know I sound like a broken record but thank you for your kind review and diligence in finding the spags. I really appreciate it.
reply by Seraphim Delphinium on 27-Mar-2009
    You are so very welcome!
Comment from penelope
Excellent
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This is how I see it, confronted with the truth, your mother's world collapsed. So very sad. What a life you've had. It certainly will make a dramatic film. I'm convinced of that. The best part of the story is the healing. You're so brave to tackle them all head on. I'm just sorry you had to suffer so much. The writing itself is riveting.

Finally, I told Mom she could no longer discuss my health (with) anyone.

Penelope

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2009
    Your understanding of the situation is refreshing. So often I hear that I "should have left", or "why didn' I just walk away" but the point is I was still suffering from both cancer and severe psyhological poblems. Thank you for your kind and understanding review. I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from laurelp
Excellent
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To say you are a survivor is to minimize your life. I can't imagine all the things you have gone through in your life and now this problem with your mother. You are one amazing dame. And I say that with true sincerity.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2009
    Thank you for your kind and encouragaing words. I sincerely appreciate them.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Excellent
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You know, your sisters are truly horrible in this chapter. At least you're sorting stuff out with Mum, but your sisters' behaviour is inexcusable. I truly feel for you, watching your Mum begin to lose her mind like that. At least she had you.
I found no spag or typos in this chapter. Great writing.
Warmest wishes
Kat

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
    Thak you for your kind reiew. Yes my sisteres treated mom terribly. Thank you for your high rating.
Comment from Cranial Thinker
Excellent
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I have to be honest,this part really got to me you turning a
civil tongue for the sake of your mom after all you had been through and your sisters continued to show a most abrasive
attitude.It appears to me they are the ones in great need of help,because they can not deal with there emotions to well,as you out shined them hands down,and that could very well be a
culprit as well.You where forced to learn to live alone,and I know that feeling all to well also.Again,job extremely well done.Cranial Thinker

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
    Thank you. You have a unique ability to read between the lines. I sincerely appreciate your opinion.
reply by Cranial Thinker on 26-Mar-2009
    You are so very welcome,Smurphgirl.Cranial Thinker
Comment from mzstylo
Excellent
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I came across this chapter at random. It sounds like a very interesting story, and I am intrigued to go back and read the previous chapters. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
    Thank you for your kind review and interest in my story. I look forward to receiving more reviews from you.
Comment from Sheik S. Peer
Average
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Smurphgirl, your writing is brave. Honesty about such experience shows a lot of strength. Writing about such things is cathartic. I along with many others suffered similar abuse and wrote about it. Congratulations on so mnay chapters. I beleive you writing will improve with more showing and less telling. I have given a few pointers below.
If the shoe fits ..." She responded, intentionally not ending the sentense ( spelling) or typo

I was furious.
"You bitch!" I screamed. (You don't need to explain to the reader that you are furious... you show us with your next sentence)

Everything finally began to make sense. I now understood why my sisters didn't support me; they had decided my cancer was just a ruse. A way to get attention. ( again you explain to the reader when the reader can gleen our own judgements from your writing this makes the writing repetitive and slows the story)

Sometimes her answers drug up old wounds and the anger and rage inside me exploded.
suggestion: Her answers dredged up buried pain and inevitable rage ensued.

Good luck with the rest of your book and with your life.

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 Comment Written 26-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
    Thank you for your kind and welcome suggestions. I can use all the help I can get. I sincerely appreciate it.