Reviews from

A Leaf on the Wind

Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "The Inevitable"
Autobiography of abuse

10 total reviews 
Comment from medicnate
Excellent
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This chapter is a really good example of someone with classic agoraphobia, I'm also seeing classic Bipolar II disorder. Both could have been caused by the trauma, but also they could be inherent.

she was (a) kind person

Great chapter here.

~medicnate~

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2009


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2009
    Yes, I am sure the BPD was caused by the trauma but I've always had some level of agoraphobia. When stressed it is much worse but usually it appears in a milder, mopre manageable form.
Comment from Lois Delaney
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A well written chapter. Depression is terrible. I agree with you about some of the symptoms. There are even more, but the major one is fearing being around people. I have that especially with those I know. Why, I have no idea. I would rather stay home with my mother and daughter.

You did a swell job. On to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
    You are correct, there are many symptons to depression. Just listing them all could depress you. Again, thank you for your kind review and high rating.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
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Another compelling chapter, Smurphy.

I found the following sentence redundant as "coffee" was mentioned just prior and the phrase "another cigarette" had no previous introduction:

I poured myself another cup of coffee and lit another cigarette.

If this were mine, I would shorten to:

I lit a cigarette.

The smoking explanation that follows is a good one. Great work! Seraph

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
    Thanks again for your continued help. I also appreciate your high review.
Comment from jodeecee
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Awesome chapter.. Funny how we'll handle problems just as our families did, not realizing it, even saying how dysfunctional, and doing the very same thing.


As I kissed her on the cheek tears of joy streamed down my cheeks.
(maybe- tears of joy streamed down my own cheeks. or my face.)

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 11-Mar-2009
    Thank you again for you kind words and eagle eye.
Comment from laurelp
Excellent
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First the writing. I found no errors in my reading. Now the story. I am not surprised that you are faling apart. Hard to put someone back together until all the pieces have separated into a mess. I am looking forward to see that eventually happening.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
    So true! But not to worry, Valerie soon reaches out and gets the help she needs. Thank you for your kind review and continued interest.
Comment from twighlight time
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Wow. Was that you abused? no, don't tell me personal info. This story tellls me that either it happened to you, some one you know, or you have a sick mind. The last, I will not allow myself to beleive. My heart goes out to you. Some of my familly was abused, but now they are well and adopted by me and my mom and dad. More later.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
    Yes, this is an autobiography. My purpose is to show the reader the long term damage abuse can cause. This stared in the late 40's when there were few laws to protect children, no such thing as therapists or councelors, no self-help books or talk show hosts talking openly about it. It was a different world where problems like this were personal, and dealt with privately, if dealt with at all.
reply by twighlight time on 23-Mar-2009
    This is really sad that any one at all had to go through those sad conditions. No one should ever have to live through those things. I hope that things start looking up for you.
Comment from Writeaway...
Excellent
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Loved your book chapter 42 Sumphgirl, please can you tell me if you are publishing any more stories on FanStory. Ten out of Ten, well done.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
    Oh yes. I have the second half of my life to cover. It is still in draft form but I plan to publish one or two chapters a day until the end. Thak you for your interest.
Comment from BethShelby
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You are telling your story in a way that holds the readers interest. Abuse is a terrible thing and it causes people to act in irrational ways sometime.

I think you should change the following sentence:
Families would gather at a designated house to enjoy a meal in the backyard of potato salad, baked beans, hot dogs, hamburgers, barbecued chicken
(...gather in the backyard of a designated house to ...
the way you have in makes it sound like the backyard is made of potato salad etc.0


I took ten aspirins and went to bed. (really, it's that about eight too many)

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
    Thank you for your helpful suggestions. I will look over that passage and see what I can do. Yes, ten aspirin is a lot...but I cover this in a previous chapter. My migraines were severe and debilitating. Foolish, of course, but I was unconcerned with the consequences of an overdose.
Comment from Gip7
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This is listed as biographical, so I can only hope that if it's true and it's you, the writer, you have gotten some heavy therapy by now. There is no way around this -- only 'through it'. It's tough therapy, but it works to at least enable you to have a life and relationships. This is an excellent interpretation of one coming from an abusive childhood. I could feel and hear the pain and 'shame' one is never rid of around others. The line you have about God, however, you might want to look at. Something/someone kept you alive during that time - ? Thanks.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
    Thank you for your high rating and concern. Yes, I do get therapy and am doing quite well. Sadly, it does't occur for a while yet. During the turmoil I had many doubts about God's concern for me. I now have a strong faith in God but feel my doubts at the time are an important aspect of my mentle state duing this period of my life.
reply by Gip7 on 10-Mar-2009
    I'm with you, SMURPHGIRL. Take care of yourself, Gip.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
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Great writing Valerie. You have got the depression symptoms across really well, and the panic attacks. For anyone who has not experienced them, they seem bizarre; for those of us who have been through it ourselves, it's very familiar!
Just one typo I found. Near the end, "......surely convince then (you mean 'them') I was crazy...."
Great writing, keep it up.
All the best.
Kat

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2009


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2009
    Thank you for you high rating...yes, I meant 'them'...I'll go back and fix that. Again, thank you.