A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Dumb Questions"Autobiography of abuse
15 total reviews
Comment from twyls
This is a heart-breaking story. I'm not sure who Teresa is, unless an older sister. Of course, I haven't read any previous chapters. I think the narrator does learn from her father, if not what she wants to learn.
The only style error I found was in the line, "Teresa was smart and I was stupid. Teresa was pretty and I was ugly; that's the way things were." I might move the semi-colon to between the first and second sentence, and make the "that's the way things were" into a separate sentence. I think that would make it less confusing.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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This is a heart-breaking story. I'm not sure who Teresa is, unless an older sister. Of course, I haven't read any previous chapters. I think the narrator does learn from her father, if not what she wants to learn.
The only style error I found was in the line, "Teresa was smart and I was stupid. Teresa was pretty and I was ugly; that's the way things were." I might move the semi-colon to between the first and second sentence, and make the "that's the way things were" into a separate sentence. I think that would make it less confusing.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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Yes, Teresa is my older sister. I appreciate your suggestion and will look over that part again.
Comment from kabid
Wow, what a sad story. I went back to read some of the earlier chapters and I could hardly stand to read them. Which is a great compliment to you for your excellent storytelling!
When I started to read this chapter, the first thing I thought was how a girl, who was just a small child when she heard it, remember all of the statistical information that her father was relaying in his story. Just as I was thinking that, the girls states: "I couldn't comprehend how he could remember so many dates, people and, events when, I could not even remember how to spell a word five minutes after looking it up in the dictionary." and here she is remembering what he said, years ago, verbatim.
Other than that this is a wonderful story and you are a great writer.
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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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Wow, what a sad story. I went back to read some of the earlier chapters and I could hardly stand to read them. Which is a great compliment to you for your excellent storytelling!
When I started to read this chapter, the first thing I thought was how a girl, who was just a small child when she heard it, remember all of the statistical information that her father was relaying in his story. Just as I was thinking that, the girls states: "I couldn't comprehend how he could remember so many dates, people and, events when, I could not even remember how to spell a word five minutes after looking it up in the dictionary." and here she is remembering what he said, years ago, verbatim.
Other than that this is a wonderful story and you are a great writer.
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Comment Written 11-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your coments. In an earlier chapter I discuss in detail my detailed and unusual ability to remembor early childhood events. It was both a curse and a blessing. Despite his despicable behavior, this is something I inherited from my father.
Comment from Stacey Lynne Wells
I can relate to Valerie very well. Even more so, I was given a name that rhymes with hers. I am Mallory. I hate the name Mallory. It seems sometimes like my younger sister Madison always gets off easy. But of course, I don't. I sometimes feel that I'm blamed for everything even if I didn't do it. Like today, Mom yelled at me because dishes weren't put away where they belonged and I wasn't the one who cleared the dish washer last night. Plus I like being called Rachel, not Mallory, but they call me Mallory still. It's so cool that I can sympathize with her. Great write and I really enjoyed reading.
Rachel
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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I can relate to Valerie very well. Even more so, I was given a name that rhymes with hers. I am Mallory. I hate the name Mallory. It seems sometimes like my younger sister Madison always gets off easy. But of course, I don't. I sometimes feel that I'm blamed for everything even if I didn't do it. Like today, Mom yelled at me because dishes weren't put away where they belonged and I wasn't the one who cleared the dish washer last night. Plus I like being called Rachel, not Mallory, but they call me Mallory still. It's so cool that I can sympathize with her. Great write and I really enjoyed reading.
Rachel
Comment Written 11-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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Thak you for you kind reviews. At age 55, I change my name from Valerie to Sasha...I totally relate to what you said.
Comment from utopian_dream_x
I think there is a spag in your title, did you mean questions? There is no spag in this chapters though, it's very well written with a clear narrative. It's interesting to read an autobiography and a change from the usual fiction.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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I think there is a spag in your title, did you mean questions? There is no spag in this chapters though, it's very well written with a clear narrative. It's interesting to read an autobiography and a change from the usual fiction.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I'll have to take a look...
Comment from WRITER1
Very well written, this man is so horrible! This is biographical, you poor thing I real feel for you. you did a good job on this piece, I hope it helps to vent.
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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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Very well written, this man is so horrible! This is biographical, you poor thing I real feel for you. you did a good job on this piece, I hope it helps to vent.
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Comment Written 11-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2009
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Thank you for you kind words. And, yes, venting is very theraputic.
