A Momentous Encounter
some people make us feel better about life63 total reviews
Comment from OldVet
Nice posting. A little kindness and courtesy will go a long way. I glad to see I'm not the only person less than enthralled with the denizens of that mega-metropolis.
Suggestions:
Your second paragraph where you picked up the beer reads as if you placed both the beer and ale in your basket. Needs a slight rewording to clarify that the comrades wasn't the beer.
"Crispy summer blend". [blend."] "Pale Ale". [Ale."]
(Periods and commas go inside quotation marks.)
"No[,]" I said.
Tears welled up my eyes[;] the Southern lady said her gracious thanks
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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Nice posting. A little kindness and courtesy will go a long way. I glad to see I'm not the only person less than enthralled with the denizens of that mega-metropolis.
Suggestions:
Your second paragraph where you picked up the beer reads as if you placed both the beer and ale in your basket. Needs a slight rewording to clarify that the comrades wasn't the beer.
"Crispy summer blend". [blend."] "Pale Ale". [Ale."]
(Periods and commas go inside quotation marks.)
"No[,]" I said.
Tears welled up my eyes[;] the Southern lady said her gracious thanks
Comment Written 18-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much for the great review - sorry for the delay in reply.
Comment from EricMentzer
good descriptive piece of work,
a story well told and easy to follow.
Very intriguing and thought provoking....holding the interest throughout.
An enjoyable read.
A pleasure to review work so well written, with correct spelling and punctuation.
Good Luck,
Eric
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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good descriptive piece of work,
a story well told and easy to follow.
Very intriguing and thought provoking....holding the interest throughout.
An enjoyable read.
A pleasure to review work so well written, with correct spelling and punctuation.
Good Luck,
Eric
Comment Written 18-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
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Thank you, Eric, for such a great review. Sorry for the late response.
Comment from Guy Mendes
This is a good example of uninterested cooperation. I liked the whole story. But at the end you wrote "the loss of both of my both parents." I assume it was a revision problem. Otherwise the story is very well written and interesting.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
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This is a good example of uninterested cooperation. I liked the whole story. But at the end you wrote "the loss of both of my both parents." I assume it was a revision problem. Otherwise the story is very well written and interesting.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much for your great review, and I apologize for the delay in response.
Comment from Rajasir
Yes, my friend,
Some encounters and the resulting moments leave the imprints which remain with us all our life. Your story is so beautiful that it has given enough material for this evening. It is 7:00 PM in Nepal.
Good one
Bless you,
Rajasir
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Yes, my friend,
Some encounters and the resulting moments leave the imprints which remain with us all our life. Your story is so beautiful that it has given enough material for this evening. It is 7:00 PM in Nepal.
Good one
Bless you,
Rajasir
Comment Written 18-Jun-2008
Comment from EllieKaye
Hello yeltel-
What a sweet story. there are so many wonderful people tucked within the masses. I'm so glad you found one and she helped you. Sometimes that's all a day needs to change.
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Hello yeltel-
What a sweet story. there are so many wonderful people tucked within the masses. I'm so glad you found one and she helped you. Sometimes that's all a day needs to change.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2008
Comment from starkat
Hi yeltel...Enjoyed your story about a moment you experienced in the supermarket in Las Vegas, NV. that helped to make your world a brighter and better place. (note- it's a good idea to spell out "Las Vegas"...and go ahead and put "NV"...since there is another "Las Vegas, NM")
That's great you've found a home in the west. I find the people in the west open and friendly. I think you'll enjoy living out there. There's lots of opportunities, too.
What you experienced was a random act of kindness. We need more kindness in the world. I hope you experience many more of them and have the opportunity to reciprocate in some fashion or another as time goes by. I've been to Las Vegas countless times...it's a great place to watch people and to get ideas for stories or poems. The city is full of fun entertainment. You will see and meet all sorts of people from all walks of life. There is a lot of energy in Las Vegas.
Wonderful job of bringing the reader along so they can experience this ray of sunshine that brightened your day....
Well done..
Be well...be creative...be you
Cheers,
starkat
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Hi yeltel...Enjoyed your story about a moment you experienced in the supermarket in Las Vegas, NV. that helped to make your world a brighter and better place. (note- it's a good idea to spell out "Las Vegas"...and go ahead and put "NV"...since there is another "Las Vegas, NM")
That's great you've found a home in the west. I find the people in the west open and friendly. I think you'll enjoy living out there. There's lots of opportunities, too.
What you experienced was a random act of kindness. We need more kindness in the world. I hope you experience many more of them and have the opportunity to reciprocate in some fashion or another as time goes by. I've been to Las Vegas countless times...it's a great place to watch people and to get ideas for stories or poems. The city is full of fun entertainment. You will see and meet all sorts of people from all walks of life. There is a lot of energy in Las Vegas.
Wonderful job of bringing the reader along so they can experience this ray of sunshine that brightened your day....
Well done..
Be well...be creative...be you
Cheers,
starkat
Comment Written 17-Jun-2008
Comment from Permelia
It is amazing how just one moment of someone's thoughtfulness brightens our day, and lifts our spirits. It only takes a moment of our time to do the same for someone else. Thank you for sharing this.
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It is amazing how just one moment of someone's thoughtfulness brightens our day, and lifts our spirits. It only takes a moment of our time to do the same for someone else. Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2008
Comment from sueseagull
Very inspirational story. Makes you smile and shed a tear also. It is amazing what something so small someone else does for another person can make such an incredibly dynamic change in your day and sometimes even your day. I always try to havea smile for any person I pass in my day."Share a smile with a stranger, it may be the only one they see that day." I see no corrections needed.
SUE
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Very inspirational story. Makes you smile and shed a tear also. It is amazing what something so small someone else does for another person can make such an incredibly dynamic change in your day and sometimes even your day. I always try to havea smile for any person I pass in my day."Share a smile with a stranger, it may be the only one they see that day." I see no corrections needed.
SUE
Comment Written 17-Jun-2008
Comment from jlsavell
yeltel, I find a story that is refreshing to the soul. A genuine act of kindness that had not one thing to gain from it. Thank you for sharing.
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yeltel, I find a story that is refreshing to the soul. A genuine act of kindness that had not one thing to gain from it. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2008
Comment from Moira's Amethyst
You have such an attentiveness for how you bring about your story's quality. I really liked this and thought how well it was conceived; through the imagery I found your world alive and full of a many reason to smile. This was well worth my time. Thank you.
Poetry's Protege
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You have such an attentiveness for how you bring about your story's quality. I really liked this and thought how well it was conceived; through the imagery I found your world alive and full of a many reason to smile. This was well worth my time. Thank you.
Poetry's Protege
Comment Written 17-Jun-2008
