Reviews from

The future of women and men

Role reversal

19 total reviews 
Comment from cooljules
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

If your intention was to horrify, then you have succeeded! It is difficult to imagine a worse scenario to find yourself in - being abused tortured by a man or a woman. The villainess in the story makes the CIA water-boarders look like boy scouts. A very concise, disturbing read that packs a lot of punch for a work so brief.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2008
    Thank you for the great review. I am just beginning to write horror, so I greatly appreciate the review.
Comment from Teri7
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Al, This is a very good and interesting story you have submitted for the contest. It is full of great wording and very good imagery. God bless and good luck. Hugs, Teri

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Lee Shrug
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is not a genre I usually read, but I was interested in the time travel contest. The man travels in your story, but it is not really explained. Even though it was a supernatural happening of some sort, I wanted to know why. I thought some sort of supernatural explanation should have been included in your story. I also felt that his adversary was rather one dimensional, cruel and bad because of a history of men dominating women. I felt she could have used some character development to give her some depth. Also, you don't mention your main character actually finding the razor blade, it just kind of appears after the torture prisoner suggests she might have dropped a blade. I felt this story still needs some development, and I gave it 4 stars because I didn't feel it was really about time travel, only very peripherally.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    You are right. Had I been writing a longer short story or a novella or novel, I would have explained it more. But I am still rather new to the sci-fi genre. Most sci-fi I review I find so dense I fear I overcompensated here.

    Usually, I prefer to leave part and the end of the story to the reader's imagination so s/he can bring his/her interpretation to it. That way different readers read the story differently. It's how I interpret the discipline of reader response criticism. I think a story that spells everything out for the reader doesn't allow the reader to interact at all with the story. Thanks for a good review and I'll try to strike more of a balance as I continue to learn to write sci-fi.

Comment from Josipher32
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a wonderfully written horror and thriller science fictional piece for this "Time Travel" contest. I wish you the best with your entry.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    Thank you. You are very kind. I don't write sci-fi a lot, so your review means quite a bit to me.
reply by Josipher32 on 03-Feb-2008
    Yes, I reviewed everything just so I could vote for you. And I usually never participate in "Reviewer's Only" contest votings.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    Thank you so much. You are so kind.
Comment from Annmuma
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Not my cup of tea, but certainly well done. I believe it will do well in the contest. I've just begun reading the entries, but I can't imagine one more creative or unusual. ann

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    Thank you for your kind review--I wanted to create something unusual, but the sex reversal theme is found in some sci-fi literature I found out. But it certainly is different from the other entries! Thanks again.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Alvin leave it to you to write something out of the ordinary. Very detailed with gore and the upsetting idea another sex could take over in the future, Not my view of future years to come lets have a happy relationship between men and women.
Good luck in the contest
Gert

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    Yes, I would prefer to have an equal relationship, too. But I realize how women have been oppressed over the centuries, so I thought I would turn the tables. Thanks for a good review.
reply by Gert sherwood on 03-Feb-2008
    Hi Alvin you are so welcome
    Take care
    gert
Comment from milushka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You do have strange fantasies, dear Alvin. makes me laugh, sorrry, sorry, it's the floor-licking, ach ja.
We all do have some wild ones, once in a while, no?
The part of a mistress doesn't suit me, nor the part of a slave, maybe the revolutionary, an anarchist?
Love,
Mila

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    There was supposed to be a little amusement in it, so you caught that. Anarchist? You spent too much time in a "Communist" country. GRIN. Thanks for a good review.
reply by milushka on 03-Feb-2008
    Ha ha, I don't spend any time in the communist era, I had enough but the asociations are there, dear Alvin.
    Have a good night.
    Love,
    Mila
Comment from steevie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is very different for sure. A man sent to the future to realize that he had been taken over by the woman in a torture chamber and made to be subserviant an entertaining write

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    Thanks for a great review
Comment from Tinners
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I thought this was a very interesting story, and i liked your ideas of how the future would be. I think that you could have given it a little more, it seemed just a bit lacking to me. Not quite enough to take off a star though. good job!

-tinners

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    I prefer to leave part and the end of the story to the reader's imagination so s/he can bring his/her interpretation to it. That way different readers read the story differently. It's how I interpret the discipline of reader response criticism. I think a story that spells everything out for the reader doesn't allow the reader to interact at all with the story. Thanks for a good review
Comment from jackiesmuse
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Alvin:
This was an interesting story and held me to the end. I do think the glimpses into the future are pretty dark.

A few suggestions for your consideration:
I didn't want more blood drawn (drawing blood for a lab test was the mental picture I got) Is there another way to word that?

When I read the word "balls" I was thrown off a bit. Up until that point, the character spoke in a more refined manner and then...

I understand you wanted the reader to think (I like to do that, too) but this did feel more like a chapter than a complete story. I do think this would make an intriguing chapter in a time-travel novel.

A truly creative entry for the Time Travel contest. Best of luck with it.

:) Jackie




 Comment Written 31-Jan-2008


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2008
    Thanks. I prefer to leave part and the end of the story to the reader's imagination so s/he can bring his/her interpretation to it. That way different readers read the story differently. It's how I interpret the discipline of reader response criticism. I think a story that spells everything out for the reader doesn't allow the reader to interact at all with the story. Thanks for a good review.