Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 3 - Zachary
Your story within the words of this poem is a great entry for this contest. The tale is chilling though. Will we see the end of the world in our lifetime? Will it be true that our new president will be our last? Your words gave me a great deal to ponder. The piece flows well with a nice rhythm and rhyming pattern,
~patty~

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017

Thanks, Patty.

The contest is over and Zack suffered a blow to his ego by not even getting onto the podium. One more reason to play chicken with another megalomaniac to see who can hot the button first. i revived this (first posted in January) partly because I am feeling like Nostradamus!

Steve

Comment from morgan60621

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 3 - Zachary
I'd have given you six stars if I could have! I laughed and laughed! Although it had a bitter end to it, your poem was humorous as can be and I enjoyed it immensely! I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you so much for the smiles. Morgan

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017

Hi, Morgan. Welcome to FanStory.

Thanks for the great review.

Steve

Comment from Dr. Nad

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 3 - Zachary
Zachary Is a cautionary tale for all the world. Here in the United States, we are quite evenly divided. Sadly, half the people of America would say we have just come through that with Pres. Obama and the other half would say we are just going into it with Pres. Trump. Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017

You very cautiously don't say which half you belong in!

Yes, I am taking a little jab at the new President. That's just the way the poem took off - it started more as just a funny story.

Thanks for reviewing.

Steve

reply by Dr. Nad on 01-Feb-2017

You are welcome.
Embrace the love from above.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 3 - Zachary
Till the hyenas howled and the mad monkeys yowled,
Just like in the FanStory Forum. ... Ha! So I've heard ...

Love the very British flavour of the poem, Steve. Modern/contemporary retro-Victorian ...

Are you sure you're not writing about the Donald??

Best wishes for the contest. Good one!

Sonali :)

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017

Thanks, Sonali.

Maybe this is the Brit version of DT! And the ending is certainly what many people are a little worried about. Yes, some of my poems revert to references to UK people and scenes - throwback to my ancestors and my early reading diet perhaps.

Steve

Comment from Badger_29

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 2 - Suzy
Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
This is just as cleverly designed as Zachary, hilarious.
I did find one typo might be intended,
I noticed you spelled it organised, but upon further research, DID discover that this is also an accurate spelling which, according to my dictionary, was British English in origin.
Thanks again for the lead
Blessings,
Brother Badger

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017

Thanks, Badger.

Yes, we kiwis use British spelling in the main. I remember this being fun to write - I suspect many first time Mums are a little like Suzy.

Steve

reply by Badger_29 on 01-Feb-2017

Thanks for replying,
Brother Badger

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 3 - Zachary
This was fun to read, Steve :) You packed this story with a lot of funny talk and a few zingers. My first words as a kid were the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Sorry if I spelled it wrong. Love the snip at the forums :) It's always a pleasure to read your masterful poetry. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017

Nope! You spelled it better than Zachary did, although he had to shorten it for logistical reasons!

Thank you very much for the kind words. This was fun to write. One of my resolutions is not to waste so much time in the forums!

Steve

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 2 - Suzy
This shows a mother too into following everything she hears and reads about parenting. This is a silly poem with a serious topic. Let a child be a child and just help and don't push. It can cause problems later if you do. I like how calmly the grandmother takes the explosion.

Keep writing

Joan

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017

Thanks, Joan. yes, I like the grandmother'd calmness too. It reminds me of...
Pa, who had seen the occurrence
Just didn't know what to do next.
He said, "Mother, yon lion's et Albert"
And Mother said 'Ee, I am vexed."

Steve

reply by dragonpoet on 02-Feb-2017

You're welcome, Steve.

Joan

Comment from Raoul D'Harmental

Excellent

Rating of Chapter 3 - Zachary
Hi Kiwisteveh

Whilst reading this I couldn't help thinking this was a biography because it's so true to the lives of some people I am acquainted with. I love the range of sounds you have used to depict each stage of this man's life and wish you all the best in the contest. R

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017

Raoul, thank you for the kind words.

I have just added this poem as the third chapter in my book of 'Cautionary Tales'. If you go back to this poem you can click the links at the top to go back to the other two poems which are just as much fun.

Steve

Comment from joeruptak

Exceptional

Rating of Prologue - KayCee
I enjoyed this so much I read it over twice
I can only say good things about it the humor was fantastic,
the rhyme and flow was right on. fantastic job

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2015

Thanks, Joe - you must have been rooting around in the archives to come across this one!

Steve

Comment from pattipac

Excellent

Rating of Prologue - KayCee
Your poem of KayCee's phone addiction, and ultimate demise is creatively spun with a rhyme-scheme and humor that make it an enjoyable read. Deserving of a six, but alas my pockets are empty.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Nov-2014

Thank you!

Steve