Messages

  Share or Bookmark   
CD Richards

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  104

Short Works Rating

Rank:  59

Review Stars
 
Rank:  161

Humour

   Thread Started October 24 at 1:00AM

Owing to the fact that this topic appears to have died a slow and silent death, I thought I'd liven it up with an old joke (no, not Donald Trump - a FUNNY joke).

C.S. Lewis and Bertrand Russell are having a debate about the existence of God. It starts off all politeness and courtesy, but after a couple of hours, things start to get rather heated.

Lewis: You, Mr Russell, are like a blindfolded man in a dark room, looking for a black cat that isn't there!

Russell: What a coincidence, Mr Lewis. For I see you as a blindfolded man in a dark room, looking for a black cat that isn't there. The only difference is - you've found it!

Please feel free to add to your own favourites into the mix. But I must warn you - if you think having God on your side gives you an advantage - I've got Dave Allen!



gloria ...
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  41 (+1)

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 
Rank:  106

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 02:18 AM

Great idea, Craig. Great joke too even though it took me half an hour to figure it out. ;-)

Mine is from E=MO (Phillips) Squared. He has some funny jokes and he sounds perfect with the volume set at zero. Here goes.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.

Then I realized the lord doesn't work that way.

So I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

CD Richards

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  104

Short Works Rating

Rank:  59

Review Stars
 
Rank:  161

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 02:29 AM
Hah! Yep, that'll work.


Sarkems
I like bacon
because it tastes good.

Review Stars
 
Rank:  437

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 03:53 AM
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.

CD Richards

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  104

Short Works Rating

Rank:  59

Review Stars
 
Rank:  161

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 04:01 AM
Hehe Emma.

Buddhist to pizza guy:
"Make me one with everything."

Q: How many buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Change comes from within.

CD Richards

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  104

Short Works Rating

Rank:  59

Review Stars
 
Rank:  161

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 05:26 PM
Why shouldn't American Skeptics be entitled to tax-exempt status? They're a non-prophet organisation.

(Feel free to substitute your local version of the group in the above - for example, British Skeptics, Australian Skeptics, Skeptics Canada, or, for our New Zealand friends - Kiwi Skiptics. Sorry, Steve!)


gloria ...
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  41 (+1)

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 
Rank:  106

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 06:07 PM
Ahem ... it's Skeptique Canada. We are proudly a bilingual nation and we want tax-exempt charitable status in both official languages which gives us the double the bang for our loonie. Vive le parti Quebecois and Gabriel Dumont. We trade woodpecker teeth on par.

CD Richards

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  104

Short Works Rating

Rank:  59

Review Stars
 
Rank:  161

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 06:28 PM << Modifed October 24 at 6:29PM >>
Gloria, I'm sorry, but I don't understand what your country's sexual proclivities have to do with this discussion!


gloria ...
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  41 (+1)

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 
Rank:  106

RE: Humour
Reply on October 24, 2017 06:34 PM
Whoops! That's because I forgot about our articles of prophetization. It's supposed to be woodpecker souls. They don't have the bang of the loonie.


Sarkems
I like bacon
because it tastes good.

Review Stars
 
Rank:  437

RE: Humour
Reply on October 25, 2017 03:14 AM
Sceptics, Craig. We Brits have sceptic non-prophet organisations. No room for the KKK!

CD Richards

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  104

Short Works Rating

Rank:  59

Review Stars
 
Rank:  161

RE: Humour
Reply on October 25, 2017 03:52 AM
Terribly sorry to burst your bubble, Emma - but it seems that your countryfolk have capitulated in a similar fashion to ours, at least according to the British Association for Skeptical Enquiry, and the publishers of the British "The Skeptic magazine":

http://www.aske-skeptics.org.uk/

https://www.skeptic.org.uk/about/

I'm as shattered as you at this assault upon our language - in fact, I think I might need to check myself into a wellness clinic to sort myself out!

      -1-   2  3
Next Page


A book by our own Unspoken94.

Dawn Munro (ideasaregemsl-Dawn) writes: This is the finest work of nonfiction and if you read nothing else this year, I recommend "Conversations". Signed copies provided. Contact him for details.

Buy It On Amazon
A book by our own Brigitte Elko.

This is a story about a little girl who loses her favorite comfort object. During her search , she faces many obstacles which she must overcome. She tackles her environment with her problem solving skills. Boys will enjoy this book because the little girl gets in so much "trouble". Contact Brigitte for a signed copy.

Buy It On Amazon
A book by our own Celtic Angel.

This character-driven tale embarks on a journey towards self-worth involving Cass Backus, a young girl experiencing awkward teenage moments and bullying. Longing to escape her adolescent drama, she looks forward to reconnecting with her childhood friend, Brad. However, numerous obstacles and misadventures stand in her way. The question remains: Will Cass and Brad ever manage to catch up and take their friendship to the next level?

Buy It On Amazon



Advertise With Us
Meet Schlitzie!
Not a 'pinhead', not a Freak, UNIQUE!