Messages

  Share or Bookmark   

michaelcahill
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  27

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 
Rank:  187

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 09:33 AM
I'm not in favour of supporting every finger pointer, though I imagine with my zeal it could come off that way.

But I AM in favour of keeping the heat on HIGH as regards the cases I've mentioned, the blatant ones.

I'm expecting a plethora of cases to ensue and I'm wary of them going forward. I agree they should be scrutinized and taken on a per case basis. I'm certain there will be a good many FALSE accusations along with real ones.

Sense should prevail, but as we are demonstrating in Alabama, sense is not easily come by sometimes.

We had the McMartin case here in California, decades ago. Day care owners were accused and crucified as child molesters. They were innocent. It didn't restore their shattered lives.

I still contend it's imperative that this step forward remains as a starting point and we NEVER take a step back. Yes, all you say is true.



mrsmajor
Premier Author
Premier Reader

Poet Rating
 

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Review Stars
 
Rank:  259

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 11:20 AM


That's without question, Mikey, we have to go forward...for the sake of our children too...relationships in the future between men and woman in the work place may change, but at least we'll know they will be safer...

Just Some Thoughts!

Spiritual Echo
Premier Author

Poet Rating
 

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 01:31 PM
Back in the early 1900s when women were considered their husbands' chattels, had no vote and were not recognized by most countries in the Western World as having ANY rights--except at the discretion of their father or husband--there was no way for individual women to know other women were suffering or had ANY thoughts similar to their own.

The brave women who were the founders of the Suffragette Movement adopted the butterfly as their symbol. Women wore butterfly pins on their coats or dresses to show other silent women there was a growing campaign to fight for their rights. It gave individual women the courage to speak up--knowing they had support.

The 'why now?'question is easily answered; courage by strength of numbers. The Washington Post did a very thorough investigation before writing their expose on Roy Moore, qualifying the accusers that they found and interviewed. What makes this case particularly heinous, is that Moore preyed on young women just entering maturation without any defenses or experience to thwart off aggressive sexual predators. Under the law, and hopefully part of everyone's moral code, is that the crimes Moore committed are child molestation.

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I can assure you that early sexual intervention of any kind, leaves a lifetime imprint on a woman; as described by Spacey's young victims, it can tarnish boys as well.

We weren't horribly shocked when Clinton allegations came to light. Kennedy, known for his philandering was somehow forgiven in the pages of history. There is no evidence his sexuality ever included rape, and so the world became, if not accepting of adultery in powerful men, at least no so shocked.

The Cosby revelations shook more of us to the core. Our beloved Dr. Huxtable couldn't possibly have drugged all those women and raped them--could he? As that truths sank in, our nausea was contained by looking away. In the aftermath, the discussions turned to ask the question "Can we respect the man's talent by separating the man from his work?' Can we? Can you?

Along came Roger Ayles, followed by O'Reilly and for many, knowing their 'beloved' real news gurus paid million dollar settlements shhok those folks to the core. Who could they believe? When a settlement reached a record $32M it surely must have given viewers pause to consider the serious nature of the crimes. Didn't it?

Weinstein, Spacey, Chris Rose--who am I forgetting?

I don;t know ANY woman who has not been sexually harrassed--not a single one. Yet, the guy that cornered my and began to paw my body remained an asshole--not a real threat. But, he had limited power over me. I laughed it off. No it wasn;t funny, but I had no HR department and I absolutely KNEW the guy's boss would simply fire me to get rid of the problem if I decided to make a stink about it.

Technically I was raped when I was thirteen by a twenty-year-old boy. I was afraid, didn't know how to stop it, was ashamed I'd been flattered by his earlier attention--and simply lay there and took it. I didn't tell anyone. Who would listen? And if they did, I'd be blamed for acting 'provocative.'

There were many, many other incidents, but in my day, there were no protection laws and a culture of sweeping the ugliness under the carpet--by getting rid of the problem--the woman.

There will be no trials, but if their were and forty-year-old testimony allowed, bu corroboration and circumstantial evidence--under the laws as they sit today--these men would be found guilty.

There is no justice for these women and no financial gains, They've lived with their life sentence. The men, well, denial gets them a free pass, doesn't it.

Yes, Franklin would be on my ASSHOLE list, Spacey and Moore would make it easily to my FANTASY list of men who should enjoy their forever tomorrow consequences of a fall from grace.

And in the case of Weinstein, the very public dirty secret of Hollywood, maybe that is a wake-up call for every man who ever dealt with these situations with a wink and a nudge.

Yes, anyone can scream rape and make accusations, but no woman will escape the close inspection of her motives. It takes a lot more courage to speak up than remain silent. This is a watershed moment in history--in human rights--and it's very healthy to debate the issue to clarify in each of our minds where one draws the line.

Perhaps butterflies will become popular once again.



michaelcahill
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  27

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 
Rank:  187

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 02:10 PM
Beautifully put, Ingrid. This is why you are my mentor and not the other way around. :))

I too hope to see butterflies and perhaps men will be in support ... a little to the side in the shadows, out of the way.

I urge you to post this. All should read.

Spiritual Echo
Premier Author

Poet Rating
 

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 02:36 PM
I'm working on an essay on this subject that I'll likely post, but the news gets thicker each day.

Despite very early negative relationships with men, somehow I was able to reach my ripe old age without condemning the entire male gender. I've had very healthy relationships with men as friends. Intimacy is an entirely different story. I do have scars.

But, men should never stand in the shadows. Sexual abuse is not a woman's issue, it remains a human rights discussion based on respect for every individual who walk the face of the earth.

It is common--in the news each day--how insurgents regularly rape the women of their enemies. It is a power tool used to overpower and humiliate. Prison rape is public knowledge. No, this is not a women's issue nor even a new chapter in the feminist handbook.

Phil Donahue claimed to be the first MALE feminist. He was told by TV executives his talk show would never last. They took a chance, but didn;t think women were interested in issues, what with a game show on a competing channel.

Alan Alda declared himself as a feminst on the Dick Cavat Show and was booed by the audience. I watched and loved him for his convictions. There are women who continue to deny the feminist moniker, somehow thinking the identification with the movement will turn them butch--women who don't appreciate a door being held open. . Funny--I don't know anyone who doesn't appreciate simple courtesies.

I live for the day when the words 'feminist movement' will be retired to the history books and people of all races and gender will FEEL protected under the same laws.

I've raised two sons. Neither would be comfortable being referred to as a feminist, but neither would deny their commitment to equality.

Never be afraid to walk beside a woman.


Sarkems
I like bacon
because it tastes good.

Review Stars
 
Rank:  620

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 02:38 PM
'Denial gives him a free pass' - but denial is all someone has years after the event. Now, in these high-profile cases, there's little doubt. With Saville, the floodgates opened. Plenty of people knew about it, but kept quiet because Saville did a lot of work for charity. Children in Need refused point blank to allow him (though he presented popular children's TV shows at the time) to represent their charity at its annual telethon, because they knew he was sexually assaulting young girls.

But there are others where the case isn't so clear-cut, and many of those involve persons unable to defend themselves because they are dead. Yet, because they were known as celebrities, we hear all about it as though they were tried and convicted already, on the testimony of one or two people who are being paid for their stories and could be looking at financial compensation.

Denial often is far from a 'free pass' for those still living who face allegations. In the current climate, getting anyone to believe you didn't do it is not very easy. And mud sticks. Everyone will always be wondering whether nice Bill Roache, who we all know as Ken Barlow from Coronation Street, actually committed the offence he was eventually cleared of. He still gets abuse and hate mail.

Some 20 years ago, in the factory where I worked, a woman accused a co-work of sexual assault. She went through the wringer. He was laid off until investigations were complete. I was the only one who stood by her, believed her every word. In the end, she left, citing pressure. Turns out she made it up because he made some negative comments about her work quality, and management hauled her over the carpet for it (she did skive a lot). She knew she'd lied, everyone knew she'd lied, the boss knew she'd lied and that's why he took it to the point of laying off the accused and doing it by the book. The idea was to show her the consequences of her actions, and it worked. She withdrew all allegations.

I stood by her because of my own experiences, similar to spiritual's case, only I was 14, not 13. Since then, I've been wary of assuming my personal experiences give me an insight, or ability to recognise victims, and prefer to look at evidence.

I've known other cases, sadly involving children, where ex-partners have accused husbands, and 'coached' the poor children out of sheer spite. EVERY case has been taken seriously, and in EVERY case, the damage to the falsely accused has not ended when their innocence is granted by a court of law, because in most of these cases, verdict can only be based on lack of evidence. It is almost impossible to say somebody DIDN'T commit such a crime for certain.

So, often, denial is all they have, and when denial is all you have, plenty of people will still say something 'must' have happened.

My husband was once approached by a 13 year old. She passed him notes at the bus-stop, telling him she fancied him. He sat hr down, eventually, and said, 'look, you must stop this. I'm 22, I'm far too old for you. Please don't keep doing this'.

She got the message, but that was nearly thirty years ago. Today, he'd be lucky to escape without a visit from the police.

Yes, women weren't heard in the past. Yes, those victims of horrendous and systematic abuse must be supported as they bravely step forward, BUT there is another side of the coin, and if we deny that it is there, we open the door to a whole new world of oppression and silence which will do nobody any good.

So, no, I'm still not blindly supporting every woman who claims to be a victim just because she's a woman and so am I.





Sarkems
I like bacon
because it tastes good.

Review Stars
 
Rank:  620

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 02:40 PM
Sorry, our posts crossed.


michaelcahill
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos

Poet Rating
 
Rank:  27

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 
Rank:  187

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 02:48 PM
I'm sure no one is advocating blindly following any women who makes an accusation. I even warned that those accusations indeed could be expected as a ploy. We agree in that regard.

Ingrid, I meant by "in the shadows" merely that men should let the women take the fore. Of course, stand with them in full support. I'd consider myself a feminist, if I understand what that is.

Spiritual Echo
Premier Author

Poet Rating
 

Short Works Rating

Novel Rating
 

Script Rating
 

Review Stars
 

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 03:00 PM
Emma, I understand your point, especially in the many cases where a disgruntled wife accuses an ex-husband of abuse. I happens--a lot!

Alluding back to CD's point about male child-care workers being deterred and legislated against for simple human compassion. There also exists a culture of treating all men as potential child molesters.

Women who are found to make false accusations should be financially responsible for damages, but then again, when it is his word/her word, does it signal women (or men) to keep silent? In today's world it is far more likely the allegations would be immediate, but for women who have kept silent for years, well we were taught to do just that.

I have no solutions, but I'm glad we're able to talk about it, perhaps as a way to ensure this culture of silence will end.




Sarkems
I like bacon
because it tastes good.

Review Stars
 
Rank:  620

RE: There is Sure to be Backlash
Reply on November 22, 2017 04:23 PM
Yes, we were, and I say this as someone (I hope you don't mind my saying) younger than you. I do appreciate all that is said here, and I agree it's important to have the discussion.

I appreciate your zeal, Mikey, and your willingness to examine your own gender's actions and responsibilities. I've put the other side of the coin, perhaps forcefully, just to offer a cautionary brake to that zeal, great though it is.

I would hesitate, these days, to call myself a feminist. Not because I don't see the need for such any more, but because I'm not sure I like where some of the more extreme aspects of it have taken it. In my youth, I very much would have said I WAS a feminist. But I saw examples of 'feminism' which, for me, only served to further divide. I loved being able to study women authors in my degree, but hated them being shoved into a 'women in literature' module, and narrowed to a study of feminine concern, ignoring the wider concepts in the female novels. I saw that not as 'equality' but as seeing women as somehow separate, not abled to be weighed on the same merit as men, though I appreciated why it happened.

I suppose I became an 'equalist', if there is such a thing. I don't want 'herstory', I want history which includes women. I don't want 'safe spaces', I want everywhere to be safe. I know we aren't there yet, but I'm not sure we'll get there by swinging too far in another direction or by singling female achievements out as though they do not deserve their place alongside male achievements.

Off topic, sorry.

   
Previous Page
1  -2-   3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10
Next Page


A book by our own Alec Gould.

One man's take on life told thru humorous short stories from his childhood on into his mid-50's; from feeling like an outcast in school to being an adult. His intent: hope. Hope in that you shall see, no matter how rough life can seem -and is- at times, that you may be able to enjoy it. Each story will bring a laugh, a smile, a tear, a lesson.

The 23rd Annual Book Awards said:
"We Really Need To Laugh" shares “memories which will resonate with many readers. Overall a creative presentation of the author’s life given in a rather sing-song poetic story telling style; a pleasant read"

Buy It On Amazon
Only $9.99!


Advertise With Us
Stretching on Snow
why some trees are skinnier