Pons and Ned meet at someone's niece's graduation party.
Ned: Fancy meetin' you here, Pons. This yer niecees gladyeration?
Pons: Gladyeration?
Ned: Oops, sorry, Cuz. I thunk she gladyerated.
Pons: Well, she may have GRAD-uated.
Ned: Dat's close enough, I reckon.
Bill: Hey, Pons -- Ned, let me get a shot of you two.
Ned: Okay, but I ain't the gladyerit.
Pons: Graduate.
Ned: Not even dat.
Bill: Say cheese!
Ned: (With hands cupped around his mouth, shouting) CHEEEESE!
Pons: What in the world was that for?
Ned: Use ta have a hound dog aname a Cheese. Dat's how I called him. (Yelling again) CHEESE!
Bill: Well, that's different. You'd think you yelled fire the way people beat feet out of here.
Ned: Cheese is a perahful draw, Willy.
Bill: It's Bill.
Ned: Oh, sorry, Bull. I thunk yer real name were Willum.
Pons: Bill is short for William, Ned.
Ned: I'd say he were as tall as any dude named Willy I ever seed.
Bill: (miffed) Not much separates you from a fool.
Ned: (Realizing he's been insulted) Jist air an' opportunity, Willy. (then sucking in air) Dere goes da air.
Pons: Wait, fellas. I am amazed this is happening. This is a graduation party, not a bar somewhere.
Bill: Sorry, Pons. I'm a bit sensitive about my name.
Ned: (still irritated) Makes me a bit ill my own self.
Pons: Okay, that's it. Bill, just get the shot, okay.
Bill: Sure. Say --uh -- just smile.
Ned: (screaming) JUST SMILE!
Pons: Yeah. That's great. Did you get a picture, Bill?
Bill: Yeah. I'll need to photoshop it though.
Pons: Why's that?
Bill: See if I can air brush some of the neanderthal out of Ned's face.
Ned: I knowd I oughta had ate dat stew wit a spoon astead a slurpin' it up.
Pons: Right. Thanks, Bill.
Ned: Rod-jo, Phil.
Bill: Phil is short for Phillip.
Ned: Well, now it's short fer Willy.
Pons: Let's go talk to the gladyerate, Ned.
Ned: Hey, ya gotter right. Grad I cud learn ya sumptin.
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Author Notes
Photo is of two candidates to represent Pons and Ned when we go to print.
What do you think? You'll have to pick which is which.
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