FanStory.com - What a Waste!by Bar62
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Nuclear War, such a drag.
What a Waste! by Bar62
    My missile is bigger then yours. Contest Winner 

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
What a Waste!
 
 
President Donald J. Trump was sitting on the presidential throne, getting his morning tweets lined up and ready to fire. He had constructed some 15 – 20 tweets to be sent simultaneously when he felt the time was appropriate. The timing of Trump’s morning tweets was no small matter, on the contrary, they had the potential to be the high point of his day. Being that each day was still a complete surprise for Donald Trump. Each morning upon waking from the evening's slumber, Trump would slip into his Donald Duck slippers, grab his phone and make his way to the presidential throne. While the process of elimination was taking place, Trump would organize his tweet-a-ttacks, and then when ready the “attacks” would be launched into the ether to arrive at the various targets that Donald had chosen for this morning’s battles.
 
Feeling a great sense of satisfaction, Trump moves back to his sleeping quarters. “Let’s see shall I catch another hour of sleep, should I diddle the housekeeper, or should I get dressed and carry on with the day?” As Donald sat pondering the choices before him, there was a knock on the door, a few minutes passed in silence and then Jared Kushner walks in.
 
“Hi dad, how did you sleep”?
 
“If it isn’t my Jewish Macher. What am I doing today Jared?
 
“I’m glad you asked, at 11 am your meeting with the President of South Korea, then at 3 pm you have an appointment to get your haircut, a facial, a manicure/pedicure and a message.”
 
“South Korea? I bet he’s got some kind words for Rocket Man”
 
“I’m sure he does, but you have to temper your spontaneous comments mi Padre”
 
Kushner leaves the room giving the President one more chance to send out a tweet. This one is addressed to the Washington Post;
 
To Whom it may concern: Rocket Man is playing with fire, and if it comes down to saving our own asses, you bet we’re going to do it. If we are forced to defend ourselves, we will do so; the world will never see anything like what we shall do. This is a man who has intentionally starved his own people, who have used his people as human guanine pigs. This man is a monster!
 
“Ahh, that feels much better. I really need someone to dump on to make me feel complete.”
 
Donald gets dressed, when I say he gets dressed it takes on a whole new meaning as to what he will wear for the day. Since he is meeting with the President of the Republic of Korea, Moon Jae-in; he chooses a tie with large blue stripes, to honor his pro-democratic leanings. Being a narcissist, being the one person that Donald truly loves, he chooses every item of clothing with the utmost care and attention to detail. From his underwear to his necktie, every item is selected with color coordination and mood in mind. A half an hour later, Donald Is selecting the tie pin that he will wear today. Donald J. Trump is dressed to the nines!
 
~**~
 
Donald sits down at the table, and what a spread lies before him. There are scrambled eggs, a cheese and veggie omelet, a plate of eggs benedict,  bacon, sausage, any kind of fruit that’s in season. Orange juice-freshly squeezed. Tomato & pineapple juice; Coffee, milk, and coffee cakes, muffins, and a large pot of freshly made oatmeal.
 
“Hello father” Ivanka Trump greets her father
 
“Hello my darling, is this a breakfast or what?” Trump piles his plate and digs in.
 
“What’s on your to-do list today sweetheart?”
 
“Well, in about an hour I’m going to meet with Hope Hicks your kick-ass communication director, we ‘re going to go over your up-coming press conference where you will announce your increasing of sanctions against North Korea. Then at 4 pm Jared and I have a fundraising meeting at” Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun, we got roped into organizing a fundraising event for the shul.”
 
“Maybe you could get your Old Man into showing up, that would be a pretty good fundraiser.”
 
“I’m not sure about that father, most of the congregation are Democrats, and they don’t have very nice things to say about you.”

 “Piss on. them”
~**~
 
Meanwhile, approximately, 6,857 miles away in Pyongyang, the capital city of the Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea) We have Kim Jong Un the Supreme Leader of the people of North Korea, since 2011. Jong Un was born sometime between January 8, 1982, and January 8, 1984. He is also the Supreme Commander of The North Korean Armed forces.
 
To Trump’s credit, he has it pretty right about N. Korea. It is a very repressive dictatorship, and its people have little to no freedom at all. North Korea’s human-rights record has been condemned by Human Rights Watch, Amnesty International, and the United Nations. Aside from saber-rattling, the government maintains little communication with the outside world.

Some former North Korean’s, who have successfully made it out of the country, had their thoughts on just how repressive the government was/is. One account tells of some young adults who wanted to watch a non-governmentally sanctioned DVD. Some daring souls would watch smuggled DVDs from the West, covering their windows with blankets — a transgression that, if discovered, still means a hard time in a labor camp. Not that long ago, it was a crime punishable by death.

Ji-Min belonged to an elite family, and so he lived in the capital city of Pyongyang, the most developed, least restricted, area of North Korea. It was the world he saw in American movies that that made him want to leave.
 
“I needed to know the taste of freedom myself,” he wrote, “and I wanted to see it with my own eyes.”
 
This is a radical notion for a country that punishes defectors with the threat of execution — and even if they escape, they must live with the fear that their families will be killed. The entire nation is a hive of East German-era paranoia, where anyone — from a neighbor to a family member — may be a spy or informant, ratting you out for an ill-advised criticism or complaint.
 
Jae Young Kim writes “You’re always being watched, from a young age, I learned to think of the potential consequences of everything I might say before I said it. Criticism of the leaders is something that can lead to someone being sent from their city to the countryside; to a prison camp, or even worse.”
 
There are countless examples of first-hand testimonies to substantiate the brutality and totalitarian nature of this regime. However, this is not an excuse or justification for the reckless and child-like way that our president and commander and chief are dealing with this situation. Calling the supreme leader of all of North Korea’s military as well as its nuclear arsenal, derogatory names, and although tempting, is not advisable, especially with two men/boys who are both questionably mentally deficient. Trump seems to be much more the bully in this matchup of emotionally challenged participants. He is purposely taunting Kim Jong Un to provoke him into a fight.
 
As a matter of fact, just last night, Kim Jong Un made a very rare appearance on the state-sanctioned TV channel, to address the statements made by Donald J. Trump. They then ran a clip of Trump in one of his tirades where he took on not only North Korea, but also the governments of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, and he through in Cuba for good measure. The Korean station provided an interpreter for the benefit of the Korean population. The station chopped up Trump’s speech into digestible chunks with time slots for the Supreme Leader to comment or clarify.
 
Trump: This man is a monster!
Kim Jong Un: makes a menacing face and growls at the camera. There is background laughter.
Trump: If we have to defend ourselves we will.
Kim Jong Un: What are they defending themselves from? Maybe from Trump, he looks pretty scary to me! More laughter.
Trump: The world has never seen what this country is capable of.
Kim Jong Un: The world has never seen a bigger fool then right now!
Trump: Rocket Man is playing with fire.
Kim Jong Un: I do not like this name Rocket Man, This Donald Trump, he is a Shit Monster!
 
That was a major slap in the face that Kim Jong Un delivered to Trump. There is a reference in some ancient Korean mythology that at one time, long, long ago, there existed a monster, but not just any monster. This was the dirtiest, the ugliest, the foulest, the smelliest monster that anyone had ever encountered. He would come into the villages and just by opening his dirty and disgusting mouth, would knock people unconscious, for people could not tolerate the odor.
 
The Supreme leader told his people that Donald Trump was the reincarnation of the Shit Monster. Everything that came out of Trump’s mouth was a bunch of shit! I have to score this one for Rocket Man.
 
Things were getting pretty heated up. Kim Jong Un was getting a lot of mileage from his Shit Monster analogy. Trump needed something with a bit more punch, something that would put that little fat guy up against the ropes.
 
~**~
 
North Korea broke a two-month lull in weapons testing with a dramatic launch of its most advanced missile yet, an intercontinental ballistic missile it claims can reach the "whole" US mainland.

The country's state media declared the Hwasong-15 missile was "the most powerful ICBM" which carried a "super-large heavy warhead" to unprecedented heights of almost 4,500 kilometers (2,800 miles).
 
It was a dramatic show of force and technical capabilities from Pyongyang, which had not conducted any military tests since September 15, raising suggestions that perhaps the rogue country was heeding warnings to halt its provocations and cease its weapons program.
 
Kim Jong Un has ordered his rocket scientists to construct North Korea’s biggest ballistic missile ever, and the despot reportedly plans to launch the record rocket on the regimes 70th anniversary in September.
 
The rocket would be outfitted with re-entry capability — a feat the Hermit Kingdom's last intercontinental ballistic missile wasn’t able to achieve — according to a defector who talked to a Japanese paper.
 
The rocket called the “Unha-4,” will be an upgraded version of the long-range ballistic missile Unha-3, which was launched in 2012 and 2016 and put North Korea’s first satellite into orbit.
 
On November 29th, President Trump released this tweet.

Just spoke to President Xi Jinping of China concerning the provocative actions of North Korea. Additional major sanctions will be imposed on North Korea today. This situation will be handled!
 
~***~
 
Trump was pretty nervous, he talked a good game, but when it came right down to it he was scared shitless by the thought of a nuclear war. With good reason, I might add. He was not at all sure what his next move was going to be. He had received a communication from a General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross. Ross was not a fan of Trump’s, he thought he was pretty much the clown, but the President was to be respected and whether you agreed with him or not, he was your commander and chief. The threat from North Korea was real enough for the thunderbolt to consider the aid of Robert Bruce Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk.


When Thaddeus received an invitation to lunch with the President he was not surprised. When he arrived at the White House he was escorted back outside and around the west wing to a sweet little garden complete with patio, table and chairs and a lunch fit for a king.
 
“Mr. President”
 
“General, please have a seat.”
 
The General takes his seat, and President Trump says,
 
“General, you were kind of vague in your communication, can you be more specific.”
 
“Yes Sir, this situation with North Korea, I may have the right person for the job of getting this Kim Youngun to the negotiating table.”
 
“That’s Kim Jong Un,” Trump corrects the General.
 
“Whatever, this man I have in mind, well he is quite a bit different then I believe your use to.”
 
“hmm, try these deviled eggs, there to die for.”
 
The general takes an egg to be polite. “mmm, these are tasty.”
 
“Mr. President, the man I have in mind for this assignment is named Bruce Banner, but I think you may know him by his more popular name.”
 
“And that is?” Trump is getting a little tired of this guessing game.

Well, some people know him as the Hulk or the Incredible Hulk.”
 
“Are you shitting me?” Trump says not hiding his irritation.
 
“I’m quite serious Mr. President,” Thunderbolt is getting rather put off by this fool.
 
“Isn’t the Hulk a cartoon character?” Trump asks with a tone of why are you wasting my time?
 
“Mr. President, I assure you he is as real as you or I.”  
 
“OK, you’ve got my curiosity, tell me more about this Hulk?”
 
“Let me first tell you about Bruce Banner, Bruce was working under my command, he was creating a gamma bomb for the U.S. Dept. of Defense. He had just recently finished his Doctorate in Quantum Physics. He was assigned to put this bomb together in New Mexico. What happened next was one of life’s very cruel jokes. Bruce was Supervising the trial of an experimental gamma bomb that he designed, Bruce selflessly rushed to the rescue of an ignorant teenager who had wandered onto the testing field as the countdown ticked inexorably toward zero. After shoving young Rick Jones to safety in a nearby ditch, Bruce was struck full-force by the bomb blast. He survived but was irradiated by the deadly gamma energy. Now to the Hulk. This creature and I hold the Hulk and Banner in the highest regards, but it is hard to think of the Hulk as anything but a creature; is an absolutely awesome specimen. Height – 7’8”, weight – 1,400 lbs., Skin color – Green, Eye color – Green, Hair – Green.
 
The Hulk possesses an incredible level of superhuman physical ability. His capacity for physical strength is potentially limitless due to the fact that the Hulk's strength increases proportionally with his level of great emotional stress, anger in particular. 
He uses his superhumanly strong leg muscles to leap great distances. The Hulk has been known to cover hundreds of miles in a single bound and once leaped almost into orbit around the Earth. The Hulk can also use his superhuman leg muscles to run at super speeds, although his legs have limitless strength he does not have limitless speed and once he reaches a certain speed his legs become too strong and destroy the ground giving him no friction to run on, therefore he jumps to travel. 

Hulk can slam his hands together creating a shock wave, this shock wave can deafen people, send objects flying and extinguish fires. His thunderclap has been compared to hurricanes and sonic booms. 

Mr. President, take special note of this. Hulk has shown a high resistance to physical damage nearly regardless of the cause and has also shown resistance to extreme temperatures, mind control, nuclear explosions, poisons, and all diseases. In addition to the regeneration of limbs, vital organs, and damaged or destroyed areas of tissue at an amazing rate. Hulk also has superhuman endurance.

The Hulk's body also has a gland that makes an "oxygenated per fluorocarbon emulsion", which creates pressure in the Hulk's lungs and effectively lets him breathe underwater and move quickly between varying depths without concerns about decompression or nitrogen narcosis
 
“WOW, I am impressed. When do I get to meet this guy?”
 
“He’s kind of living in semi-retirement in Juno, Alaska, but I think I can convince him to be here in a few days.”
 
“General, why did you think that the Hulk was the man for this job?”
 
“To be perfectly honest with you, I thought if this came down to a nuke war, no one can soak up the radiation like the Hulk
 
“Thank you very much general, your country thanks you, your President thanks you, and I thank you as a private citizen.”
 
General Ross shakes Trump’s hand and leaves the White House.
 
~*~

file:///Users/barponneck/Documents/czrc%20pisto%3B.jpg

 




 
The Incredible Hulk did not at all welcome the call from General Ross. He was also not in the Trump camp. The Hulk was a very closed person when it came to anything of a political nature. He always voted, seeing it as an obligation to his community, whether it be local, statewide, nationally, globally, or extra-terrestrial. But, he never talked politics or did anything beyond what he felt he owed for being able to live in this country. The only reason he listened to all of what General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross had to say was that he knew this was a potential threat to our way of life. And he also owed the General for his undying friendship, and there were certainly times when a friend came in real handy.
 
The Hulk usually traveled during the dark hours, less chance of spooking someone or starting a scene. So, Bruce/Hulk put a small bag of necessities together and at 1:30 a.m. they were ready to hit the road.  From Alaska, Bruce Banner figured it would take the Hulk roughly two to three hours to get to Washington DC.
 
Bruce needed to get some steam going to bring forth the Incredible Hulk. He picked up the late edition of the Juno Times, and he had all the fodder he needed to get emotionally charged. The morning paper was full of articles on this Kim Jong Un, and his playing with the nuclear deterrence which he had at his disposal. Banner was getting a full head of steam, knowing that this small man knew very little about nuclear physics or the process of fission, and what can happen when you attempt to split the atom. Bruce Banner knew that this little man was so bewitched by the power that he was blind to any other alternative. The Hulk was now there in his little cabin, having to stoop so as not to bump his head on the open-beam rafters. Once Bruce made sure all was in order he grabbed the small bag and Bruce/Hulk were out the door and, on their way, covering hundreds of miles with each bond.
 
 
~***~
 

Donald Trump finally made a pre-emptive decision, and if not for the emotional nature of young excitable women and men, it might have worked the way Donald had hoped. But so much for advanced planning. When the Hulk showed up on the lawn in the back part of the White House he had not expected two young randy girls out for a quickie. The young girls had not expected a giant green monster (not Jolly and not trying to sell peas), to show up either. It’s anyone’s guess who was the most surprised. What we do know is that when the girls started screaming the dogs in the kennel started barking, alerting the secret service, who were already alerted to the eventual appearance of a tall green giant. The secret service trying to be cool, “ain’t no big-ee,” ended up running amok. What was supposed to be a quiet, no-nonsense operation, became a high energy, chaotic endeavor, resembling the antics of the keystone cops. The lights went on at the White House, and it was Steve Bannon who was the first of the Inner Circle to witness the appearance of this Green Monster!
 
Steve, not knowing that this had all been pre-planned made his way to the Presidential quarters to inform President Trump of what was going on outside.
 
Steve knocks on the door, waits for a few minutes, then knocks again, more like pounds on the door.
 
“Who the fuck is pounding on my door at, umm, at frigging 3:30 in the morning?”
 
“Mr. President, it’s me, Steve Bannon, you got to get up and see this, you’re not going to believe it!”
 
Trump reluctantly gets out of bed, slips his Donald Duck slippers on, grabs a robe hanging in his closet, and eventually opens his bedroom door.
 
“What’s all the fucking excitement, Steve?”
 
“Just come with me, I’m not sure how to explain this.”
 
They reach the door that leads out to the back lawn. When Trump sees the Hulk totally surrounded by members of the marines as well as the secret service, all weapons pointed at Hulk; Donald shouts,
 
“All weapons down”. The marines, a bit confused with this order hesitate in complying and still have their weapons trained on the Hulk.
   
“I gave an order, are you all deaf?” The remainder of the various handguns & rifles is taken off their target. General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross shows up, goes over to the Hulk, shakes his hand, and makes a formal introduction to Donald Trump.
 
“General can we continue this inside, it’s the middle of January, and it’s bloody freezing?
 
“Certainly, Mr. President.”
 
“Are you familiar with this creature?”
 
“Steve, you are looking at the man who is going to save the world from a nuclear attack, via North Korea.”
 
“Just him?”                                        
 
“yep, just him! Why don’t you join us since your already up?”
 
“Alight, you want anything to drink, coffee, tea, water?”
 
“Yeah, a nice hot cup of joe would taste really good right about now.”
 
“Coming up”
 
Steve Bannon goes off to fetch coffee, the President leads the Hulk into the Oval Office.
 
“Have a seat Mr. Hulk”
 
“I would prefer to stand, not sure if your furniture can withstand my weight?”
 
“Have it your way. Now let’s get down to business; we need to come up with a plan or getting you into and out of N. Korea.”  
 
“With all due respect Mr. President, I figured if I just showed up on their radar, that would be sufficient to get their attention.” The Hulk offers his opinion.
 
“What are your plans for when you get inside the country?”
 
 “Well, that all depends on what you want to happen to their nuclear arsenal?”
 
“What I would like to see happen, is that all of North Korea’s WMD’s were destroyed, so the little fat guy has to start from scratch, that should take the wind out of his sails.”
 
“That can be arranged.” Hulk replies
 
“Well, that was easy enough. Henceforth we will refer to this mission as Mission Blackout” Trump announces with a satisfied smile.
 
At this point, Steve Bannon shows up carrying a tray with a decanter of strong black coffee, three coffee mugs, and donuts, banana bread, and all that accompanies 4 a.m coffee.
 
“Beautiful Steve-o, we have a plan of action, Hulk can I pour you a cup of coffee?”
 
“Thank you, Mr. President, I think I will take you up on that.”
 
All three men drink to the mutual hope of a successful mission Blackout!”
  
~***~
 





 
Hulk turns down Trump’s offer to fly over N. Korea and drop him by parachute in the rural area of the country. Instead, Hulk bounds to the East Coast of the U.S. and proceeds to enter the Atlantic Ocean. His destination is the Korean peninsula and North Korea. Just to be on the safe side, or so his thinking goes, President Donald J. Trump has ordered a mass secondary invasion force consisting of, the USS Boxer, USS Bonhomme Richard, and ROKS Dokdo. The Carl Vinson carrier strike force is also on its way to the Korean peninsula. In conjunction with the Armada by sea, Trumps has also ordered air support as a backup for the naval presence.  
 
The Hulk reached the Korean peninsula and came ashore just north of Hongnam. He stands on the rugged landscape and takes in his environment. With his powerful vision he scans the terrain, he’s looking for an entrance to an underground nuclear test site. From somewhere in the distance shots are fired, and the Hulk hides behind a rock wall. He eventually spots the soldiers who are firing at him. The Hulk claps his hands together causing a minor rock slide, which buries the soldiers who were shooting at him. Hulk bounds carefully up the narrow path, only to run into a platoon of North Korean soldiers who are guarding the nuclear test site. The Hulk jumps into their camp and scares the hell out of the soldiers. They start shooting at Hulk, but the bullets do not penetrate the Hulk’s tough skin. He takes them one at a time, crushing their thin malnourished bodies, throwing some of the soldiers over the cliff, their bodies splattering and breaking as they hit the rocks below. One of the soldiers gets through to the Supreme Commander via the walkie-talkie that he has been carrying. He is able to tell Kim Jong Un that this green monster has decimated his entire platoon, and that . . . the Hulk grabs the soldier and breaks his neck, leaving him with the walkie-talkie in his hand.
 
Next, the Hulk must find the nuclear missiles and somehow destroy them. Meanwhile, Kim Jong Un has ordered three platoons, numbering about 120 men with fast action automatic weapons to hunt down and kill this green monster at any cost. Jong Un gets into his black limo and has the driver drive him to another nuke site, where he can deploy short and medium-range ballistic missiles. At the same time that all this is going on, the U.S. Armada is pulling into the Yellow Sea at Korea Bay and shelling the capital of Pyongyang.
 
The Hulk has found an entrance to the underground testing facility. There is a large metal door preventing entrance inside. The Hulk rams the door with his shoulder, but the door does not budge. Finally, in frustration, the Hulk takes a running start and kicks the door as if he were bounding, and the force of his leg strength was too great for the metal door and it popped right off its hinges. There were three ICBM’s ready to fly. The Hulk looked at the control panels, and rather than take them off-line, he changed the trajectory so the missiles were directed to head straight upwards, and eventually return downward by just a slight degree; this directional change would bring the missiles down in the East Sea/Sea of Japan.  
 
The Hulk bounds across the desolate terrain. He now has a lock on the other test sites, and he’s zeroing in on the site in Hyesijin. This test site is guarded by armored tanks and a ton of infantry. As soon as Hulk is spotted the fireworks begin. Hulk needing to prepare himself for battle, takes a moment to let the rage fully encompass him. Ready, set and GO! The Hulk runs straight for the entrance smashing tanks and crushing soldiers as he goes. He was hit numerous times by both conventional bullets and tank shells, but he was in another dimension. One arm was completely mangled, he will have to let it regenerate itself.
 
The Hulk crashes into the underground facility, and there is Kim Jong Un, setting the parameters for the medium range ICBM’s.
 
He looks at the Hulk and in as adolescent whine says,“I was just joking.”
 
The Hulk grabs the little man by the throat. He squeezes until Kim Jong Un’s eyes literally pop out of his head.
 
The war is over. North Korea will have to find a new Supreme Leader, or they could try a democratic representative structure? The people will decide, it’s a brand-new day in Pyongyang.  
 
All the energy that the Hulk expended is now starting to catch up with him. He realizes he misses his sanctuary back home in Alaska. He makes a personal pact with himself not to answer the phone, better yet he thinks he will have the phone removed. What a waste of life, what a waste of time, WHAT A WASTE!!
~*****~

 


Writing Prompt
Choose any one of the Avengers (Superheroes) place them in the present, 2018. They are having to deal with a potential nuclear conflagration between the United States and North Korea. Do they successfully negotiate a settlement, do they force one or both countries to the peace table, or do they let them blow each other to kingdom come? Minimum word count 500, Max word count 5,000.
My missile is bigger then yours.
Contest Winner

     

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